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Oxy Withdrawal, How I did it
Hello everyone, I am finally posting to this forum. I have been eating Oxy's for over two years, at my worst: 6 / 20's a day. I have been reading your posts for a couple of months now, I have had enough and decided to quit so here is how it went for me.
You guys all seem to agree that a gradual "taper" is the way to go so this is what I tried, with no help... My wife didn't even ever know that I had a problem, or should I say, HAVE a problem. Yes, as boring as this sounds, admitting your problem is the beginning.
Anyway, from 6 pills to 4 was easy over maybe 3-6 days then to 3 pills for a couple of weeks, I need to say that, and this is very important, your body is a "creature of habit" and prone to conditioning. I never liked the way I would sleep if I had taken the drug to close to bed time so I never took any after about 5:00 PM and this was never a problem, never felt cravings at night as my body was "tuned" to this.
Now in my withdrawal, this still holds true, if I make it to 5:00, my symptoms just slacken to almost nothing until the morning (because this is how my body has been conditioned). So I find that tapering is easy if you just take your dosage and spread it evenly throughout the day so there is always some in your system. And don't take them at a time when you didn't as your body will be O.K. at this time and it's a nice place to be, no drugs and no symptoms, or at least very reduced symptoms, it's a time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So back to my withdrawals, from 3 it got a little harder (1 at wake, 1 at noon, 1 at 4:00 PM). I think because less than 3 you stop feeling the "nice" or highness.
I went from 3 to 2 1/2 , I just went from 1 at wake to 1/2. This is where it started to get hard. I did this for about a week then it was time to go to 2 so I started to take just halves, in 2 you have 4 halves so I now went to 1/2 @ wake, 1/2 @ 10:00AM 1/2 @ 12:00PM 1/2 @ 2:00 PM and 1/2 @ 4:00 PM, about every 2 hours. I did this for about 4 days. At this point I was feeling like I wanted more, not real bad, doable, no real symptoms yet besides the depression, this was starting to get to me but I knew where it was coming from so I fought it knowing that it would end.
I now had to start changing what my body wanted so I decided to stop the morning dose, I wanted to extend the time from my last to my first and start getting used to not having any, remember, I don't take after 4-5PM so when I took my first of the day now at 10:00AM it has been about 18 hours since my last and now I am feeling the pain of withdrawals, all of them. (I am not a writer and am doing the best I can, I hope this is making sense) This is where you will be tested, you just want the high all the time now and keep saying to yourself, ****, I'll just get high once more, it wont hurt and then I'll go back to my plan.... ********, DON'T GIVE IN. Somebody once said to me, "If your going to do something, do it, give it your all... If your not going to give it your all then don't even try, it's a wast of time and energy. ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT OR KEEP DOING THESE ******* PILLS??? Now is the time to decide what it's going to be, go one way or the other, don't kid yourself, there is only 2 choices, not three... remember this, Not three.
I went from the two pills, all halved, to now I am just taking 1/4 pill at noon and 1/4 pill at 4:00.. The pain is bad from 10:00 AM until 4:00 PM but at it's worst from about 2:00 PM till 4:00PM. By 5:00PM I am feeling OK and by 7:00PM I am like normal (as well as I can remember what normal feels like) So this has been my experience, I have posted this because I spend some time looking for a post like this so I would know what I was up against. I found that the more posts like this one that I read, the more I felt that I could handle this without going to a drug rehabilitation center. I am now at this stage, my wife still doesn't really know or understand what has been happening (I say this so you realize how easy it is to hide this problem, we are close and she doesn't even know??? go figure???)
Now I don't know how to proceed, 1/4 at noon and 1/4 at 4 and I am in pain, really want more... Should I now just quit or taper more?? I'm thinking quit, so tomorrow I will not take any, it has been over 2 years and tomorrow I will take no more... Wish me luck, I will let you know how it goes for me.
I hope this helps even one person, please stop as this is the highway to HELL.
Tom...
You guys all seem to agree that a gradual "taper" is the way to go so this is what I tried, with no help... My wife didn't even ever know that I had a problem, or should I say, HAVE a problem. Yes, as boring as this sounds, admitting your problem is the beginning.
Anyway, from 6 pills to 4 was easy over maybe 3-6 days then to 3 pills for a couple of weeks, I need to say that, and this is very important, your body is a "creature of habit" and prone to conditioning. I never liked the way I would sleep if I had taken the drug to close to bed time so I never took any after about 5:00 PM and this was never a problem, never felt cravings at night as my body was "tuned" to this.
Now in my withdrawal, this still holds true, if I make it to 5:00, my symptoms just slacken to almost nothing until the morning (because this is how my body has been conditioned). So I find that tapering is easy if you just take your dosage and spread it evenly throughout the day so there is always some in your system. And don't take them at a time when you didn't as your body will be O.K. at this time and it's a nice place to be, no drugs and no symptoms, or at least very reduced symptoms, it's a time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So back to my withdrawals, from 3 it got a little harder (1 at wake, 1 at noon, 1 at 4:00 PM). I think because less than 3 you stop feeling the "nice" or highness.
I went from 3 to 2 1/2 , I just went from 1 at wake to 1/2. This is where it started to get hard. I did this for about a week then it was time to go to 2 so I started to take just halves, in 2 you have 4 halves so I now went to 1/2 @ wake, 1/2 @ 10:00AM 1/2 @ 12:00PM 1/2 @ 2:00 PM and 1/2 @ 4:00 PM, about every 2 hours. I did this for about 4 days. At this point I was feeling like I wanted more, not real bad, doable, no real symptoms yet besides the depression, this was starting to get to me but I knew where it was coming from so I fought it knowing that it would end.
I now had to start changing what my body wanted so I decided to stop the morning dose, I wanted to extend the time from my last to my first and start getting used to not having any, remember, I don't take after 4-5PM so when I took my first of the day now at 10:00AM it has been about 18 hours since my last and now I am feeling the pain of withdrawals, all of them. (I am not a writer and am doing the best I can, I hope this is making sense) This is where you will be tested, you just want the high all the time now and keep saying to yourself, ****, I'll just get high once more, it wont hurt and then I'll go back to my plan.... ********, DON'T GIVE IN. Somebody once said to me, "If your going to do something, do it, give it your all... If your not going to give it your all then don't even try, it's a wast of time and energy. ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT OR KEEP DOING THESE ******* PILLS??? Now is the time to decide what it's going to be, go one way or the other, don't kid yourself, there is only 2 choices, not three... remember this, Not three.
I went from the two pills, all halved, to now I am just taking 1/4 pill at noon and 1/4 pill at 4:00.. The pain is bad from 10:00 AM until 4:00 PM but at it's worst from about 2:00 PM till 4:00PM. By 5:00PM I am feeling OK and by 7:00PM I am like normal (as well as I can remember what normal feels like) So this has been my experience, I have posted this because I spend some time looking for a post like this so I would know what I was up against. I found that the more posts like this one that I read, the more I felt that I could handle this without going to a drug rehabilitation center. I am now at this stage, my wife still doesn't really know or understand what has been happening (I say this so you realize how easy it is to hide this problem, we are close and she doesn't even know??? go figure???)
Now I don't know how to proceed, 1/4 at noon and 1/4 at 4 and I am in pain, really want more... Should I now just quit or taper more?? I'm thinking quit, so tomorrow I will not take any, it has been over 2 years and tomorrow I will take no more... Wish me luck, I will let you know how it goes for me.
I hope this helps even one person, please stop as this is the highway to HELL.
Tom...
It's great to see you **** so well. You really are inspiring. I hope to be where you are very soon, even as tough as things are for you right now. I'm sticking to my taper schedule, but having a terrible day emotionally. Just terrible. But I'll get through this. I can't tell you how inspiring it is to read your comments. Day 4 is almost here. Hope it gets easier and easier for you.
thank you for your support. Right now it feels good to be truthful.. I am young but, I can't keep using my past or age as an excuse...It's better to get out of the rut now while I am young than wait til im in too deep. thank you =]
Well, just what I have been waiting for, a huge smile is now on my face..... THANK YOU for that.
The intent of this post was just for this, when I was just getting started I looked for such a post, a day by day and decided to just make one myself.
TimH2 has become one of those friends you wake up hoping to hear from everyday for me, I will never meet him but love him just the same... Thanks to Calzy and wannaquit also, I love you both for your support, and to everybody else of course.
God today is soooo much better for me, I have been letting go with Laura more and more, she is the best, just called me and asked me for a date, tomorrow for lunch, maybe I'll get lucky???
We have been together for 18 years now and I still get excited, good stuff.
Laura doesn't understand, never will or could as far as I'm concerned but supports me, never got mad...
Can you imagine your spouse coming to you, been together for 18 years, and telling you that he/she has been seriously addicted to a HARD drug for 3 years and you never knew??? That means that the last three years have been a lie, all we did together, all that was said was a lie because she didn't know I was high at those times, What a lie, I would be pissed, real pissed if Laura pulled this on me, what road would this have taken me in the roles were reversed??
Laura has been, well, Laura. Laura is always up... Positive... Pleasant and beautiful, gorgeous.. What does she see in me????? God I love you Laura---------------
I haven't gone into much detail with my kids, I say they are to young, maybe an excuse, maybe not but they have the general gist of it and do as children do, block the bad stuff so nothing is said, I have always thought I would tell them about drugs, I being a classic 1960-1980 sex drug rock and roll kind of guy (back then, not now) I have seen it all, been there, done that and someday when the time is right, I will have a lot to say about that.
The future is so bright now, so bleak when you know you are in trouble, on the drugs and thinking you will never quit, how can you? I can't.. I can't stop omg I can't stop... But then you decide that you want this NO MORE and stopping isn't to bad, way easier than I thought.
I know I am not out of the jungle yet but I do know that I will never go back into this jungle.. That is for sure... NEVER!!!!
Laura is proud of me?? Can you imagine this?? But she is, she said so and if Laura says something, she means it, no bull with her. Now I am very proud of myself, If you have been keeping up with this post you will remember the other day I said, how can she support me? what is support anyway?? Well, now I know, it's just someone that believes in you, especially strong when you don't understand why this person would, happens alot around here I suppose, seems I have people here that believe in me and I never ever met them and never will, on the other hand I am finding that I also have been giving this kind of strength to others in need, at least I hope I am...
I am so looking forward to day 4... As the days go by, it just feels better, making distance between you and the devil... One day closer to being able to say... D A M N I did it, I was so sure I couldn't and I did... It wasnt even all that hard, Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Can't say this to many times, if there is one message to give folks here, one answer, one bit of information to get over the top, this is it...
YOU NEED TO WANT IT
The intent of this post was just for this, when I was just getting started I looked for such a post, a day by day and decided to just make one myself.
TimH2 has become one of those friends you wake up hoping to hear from everyday for me, I will never meet him but love him just the same... Thanks to Calzy and wannaquit also, I love you both for your support, and to everybody else of course.
God today is soooo much better for me, I have been letting go with Laura more and more, she is the best, just called me and asked me for a date, tomorrow for lunch, maybe I'll get lucky???
We have been together for 18 years now and I still get excited, good stuff.
Laura doesn't understand, never will or could as far as I'm concerned but supports me, never got mad...
Can you imagine your spouse coming to you, been together for 18 years, and telling you that he/she has been seriously addicted to a HARD drug for 3 years and you never knew??? That means that the last three years have been a lie, all we did together, all that was said was a lie because she didn't know I was high at those times, What a lie, I would be pissed, real pissed if Laura pulled this on me, what road would this have taken me in the roles were reversed??
Laura has been, well, Laura. Laura is always up... Positive... Pleasant and beautiful, gorgeous.. What does she see in me????? God I love you Laura---------------
I haven't gone into much detail with my kids, I say they are to young, maybe an excuse, maybe not but they have the general gist of it and do as children do, block the bad stuff so nothing is said, I have always thought I would tell them about drugs, I being a classic 1960-1980 sex drug rock and roll kind of guy (back then, not now) I have seen it all, been there, done that and someday when the time is right, I will have a lot to say about that.
The future is so bright now, so bleak when you know you are in trouble, on the drugs and thinking you will never quit, how can you? I can't.. I can't stop omg I can't stop... But then you decide that you want this NO MORE and stopping isn't to bad, way easier than I thought.
I know I am not out of the jungle yet but I do know that I will never go back into this jungle.. That is for sure... NEVER!!!!
Laura is proud of me?? Can you imagine this?? But she is, she said so and if Laura says something, she means it, no bull with her. Now I am very proud of myself, If you have been keeping up with this post you will remember the other day I said, how can she support me? what is support anyway?? Well, now I know, it's just someone that believes in you, especially strong when you don't understand why this person would, happens alot around here I suppose, seems I have people here that believe in me and I never ever met them and never will, on the other hand I am finding that I also have been giving this kind of strength to others in need, at least I hope I am...
I am so looking forward to day 4... As the days go by, it just feels better, making distance between you and the devil... One day closer to being able to say... D A M N I did it, I was so sure I couldn't and I did... It wasnt even all that hard, Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Can't say this to many times, if there is one message to give folks here, one answer, one bit of information to get over the top, this is it...
YOU NEED TO WANT IT
Tom, you are an inspiration to me and have posted exactly what I need to know at this time in my addiction to methadone. I love reading your posts, as well as, TimH2. I wish you both would consider building and maintaining a public blog/website. You are helping thousands, maybe millions of people with your experiences and knowledge. U both are real, down to earth, brutally honest guys with your ego's in check. I find myself jealous of your spouses! I have a crush on u both! Keep up the great work!
Congrats on day 3!!!! You have the right mindset and will succeed. I left a post for you on the other forum. Tom, we are all a little crazy :). I was crazy to get myself into this mess to begin with. The head trip is the worst and it is the hardest part of the fight. Keep it up my friend.
Tim
Go Red Sox!!!!!
Tim
Go Red Sox!!!!!
The two things that seem to linger for me is the lack of energy for months, as you rebuild your body back up and emtional feelings that keep trying to pull you back. You were pretty touch and go yesterday, i think you see why some ppl say to get rid of your pills or you might of given up. Glad your sticking to it.
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