go to the very first message in this thread & to the left on top it will say "back to forum" click on that then there should be something on the top of that page that says "Post a question" click that & post ur question. There is a lot of great people on here that can & will do all they can to help!
i'm kind of new to computers how do i do this.. cause id really like to get comments and replies to my confusing situation... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME COULD YOU JUST EXPLAIN IN DETAIL WHAT I HAVE TO DO???
Please start a new thread so people will see!! people here r awesome & will give u support, that i can promise u!! post a new thread , just copy & paste this please. Thinking of u tonight!!
THIS IS MY ISSUE... I went into a rehab for 90 days and NA/AA came in two to three times a day and brought meetings in... among other classes we had from 6am to 10pm at night.. it was a very strict program... i listened very closely and started to believe that I could actually STAY OFF OF ROXY COTINS AND ALCOHOL.. I had been taking about 8/30mg pills and drank a half of bottle of rum each day. Before rehab I oded and went into a coma for eight days from drinking and pills and was diagnosed with "wet brain." WHICH I MIACUIOUSLY OVERCAME IN TIME! I went through the 90 days and when I got out I went directly to meetings and decided i was going to change my life.. I had a year old daughter and I didnt want her to grow up knowing that her mother was an addict. At the meetings I tried to talk to people and it seemed that they had already formed their cliques and wanted nothing to do with a newcomer that they werent ABSOLUTLY SURE was in it for the long haul... I asked someone to be my sponsor and since i didnt drive and at times when the busses weren't running I would ask for a ride and it always seemed as if I was putting them out.. My sponsor told me to call her every night and I missed one night and she told me she could no longer sponsor me.. it was too much for her, hence she was only two years clean and i was her first sponsee . i then picked a sponsor that has 25 years clean and shortly after I had her she blew me off and stopped returning my calls, excuse being that she didn't go to meetings every night and she was going through a bad divorice. I had a gotten a job and a month later i got laid off.. I ENDED UP RELAPSING.. NO FAULT OF ANYONE, JUST MY OWN STUPIDITY! I felt really slow and dumb with no courage when I was clean... i started by drinking then went back to using percocets.. I continued to go to meetings every now and then. I then went to using roxys and morphine and told myself IT HAD TO STOP!!! i RAN OUT OF PEOPLE TO GET IT FROM AND THE ONE THAT I COULD COST MORE THEN I MADE SO I WENT COLD TURKEY... I couldn't take care of my daughter.. her father who i lived with as well watched her... i lost my job.. i tossed and turned couldnt sleep got cold sweats threw up continuiously got lead legs, and all the HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT COME ALONG WITH DETOXING... I THOUGHT I WAS LITERALLY GOING OUT OF MY MIND... AFTER ABOUT A WEEK AND A HALF IT GOT EVEN WORSE AND I CALLED EVERY SINGLE NUMBER THAT I HAD GOTTEN FROM THE PEOPLE IN NA/AA AND BEGGED THEM TO PLEASE HELP ME... TAKE ME TO A MEETING TAKE ME TO DETOX SIT WITH ME AND TALK ANY THING THAT THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO TO MAKE ME FORGET WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH WITHOUT HAVING TO TAKE ANYTHING!!! THE RESPONSES I GOT WAS I LIVE TO FAR AWAY, I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT, CALL SOMEONE ELSE, ETC... I WAS DEVESTATED I TOLD ONE OF THE WOMAN THAT WHEN THEY CAME TO SPEAK AT REHAB THEY TOLD US THAT THEY WOULD GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HELP A SUFFERING ALCOHOLIC OR ADDICT AND HER RESPONSE WAS IM REALLY BUSY WITH WORK AND MOVING AND WHEN I ASKED HER FOR OTHER PHONE NUMBERS SHE SAID SHE'D GET BACK TO ME AND I NEVER HEARD FROM HER... IT WAS THE ABSOLUTE WORST TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OF MY LIFE... IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE MY LEGS WERE SO HEAVY AND I COULDN'T EVEN GET OUT OF BED, YET I COULDN'T JUST LAY THERE I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN I JUST CRIED AND PRAYED AND BEGGED FOR THE PAIN TO GO AWAY... AFTER THE MAJOR PAIN MY DEPRESSION KICKED IN AND I WAS SO HELPLESS AND FELT I HAD NO WHERE TO TURN... MY SOLUTION, WHICH I ABSOLUTLY DON'T SUGGEST WAS TO TAKE A PILL...BUT THIS TIME I WAS GONNA BE IN CONTROL ON THE AMOUNT I WOULD TAKE... THIS WAS SIX MONTHS AGO.. I got a really good professional job I started to take my daughter out, I took care of the house, I got close to my family again got a very nice apartment, I paid off my outstanding bills made friends who didn't sit around and talk about drugs all the time, etc... THE PROBLEM... NOW THE DOSES ARE GETTING HIGHER, THE PILLS AREN'T WORKING SO WELL, WHERE AS THEY USED TO GIVE ME ENERGY THEY MAKE ME TIRED, THEY DON'T MAKE ME SO HAPPY ANYMORE I TAKE THEM SO I DON'T GET SICK, IT'S GETTING COSTLY... MY POINT: IT SEEMS LIKE A VICIOUS CYCLE AND I HAD SOME REALLY BAD EXPERIENCES WITH NA/AA... I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE TO TURN OR WHAT TO DO AT THIS POINT.. DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY SOLUTIONS... I WILL NEVER GO COLD TURKEY AGAIN BUT I'D LIKE TO STOP WITHOUT HAVING TO TELL MY FAMILY OR BOYFRIEND OR EXPLAIN WHY I MIGHT BE WEAK OR WHY IM NO LONGER HAPPY GO LUCKY OR OUTGOING ETC... I'M PRETTY SCARED AT THIS POINT AND ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON I CAN CONFIDE IN.. SHE IS NOT AN ADDICT SHE CAN TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT SO I DON'T QUITE THINK SHED UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN'T JUST STOP... SORRY IF I BORED ANYONE... WHILE I AM STILL ABLE TO FUNCTION AND TAKE CARE OF WHAT I NEED TO WHAT SHOULD I DO??? WHERE DO I START??? I KEEP THINKING TAKING MORE AND MORE WILL MAKE ME HAPPY AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE WHEN I FIRST RE-STARTED BUT ALL I FEEL IS NOT SICK!!! ALSO BEFORE ANYBODY FIGURES IT OUT,UNLESS OF COURSE IM JUST FOOLING MYSELF AND THEY ALREADY KNOW???
Hi you are posting on a thread that is almost 12 years old.None of these people are here anymore.Just letting you know
The answer to your prayer is NA