Pain, Depression, and Addiction

[Chefjosh]

Hi everybody.  This is my first post in any type of forum like this...to be honest, it's the first time i've ever been looking to discuss my situation with anyone...i am doing so in hopes of receiving some good input from people who have been there before, are there right now, and will soon be in my shoes.  I threw my back out about 12 years ago and spent a couple weeks on vicodin ES and soma.  Over the next 6 years it went out a couple times, but another round of scripts and a week on my back, and i was cured.  

Then i got into a pretty minor car accident but it seemed to set off a ticking time bomb in my spine (or it was merely coincidental and this was bound to happen anyways) and i ended up having a discectomy and fusion at c5-6.  However the pain in my shoulder, shoulder blade, and neck have not ceased.  I tried PT, NSAIDs, epidural and facet injections, chiro, massage therapy, acupuncture, (i'm sure some of you know the drill...hell, i even went to a spiritual healer...so embarrassing) all to no avail.  So I just went on with my 5 norco + 1 percocet a day regimen.  Until i started getting pain in my hip.  Then my knee.  Then my ankle.  And then the bottom of my foot.  So I've been through another couple rounds of injections and my old friend depression is starting to come knocking and i'm really starting to feel like i'm reaching the end of my friggin' rope...

Clearly i am addicted to the pills.  it's been two years now.  And i'm still in pain.  As i type i feel like my lower back is getting ready to spasm...i could just use a little support and any suggestions from anyone who has been through it and made it...or is working on it too would be great.  is the addiction worth it?  Can these docs ever really figure it out and get it right?

thanks for reading and feel free to email opr respond in the forum.

-c.j.

[shelly405]

The DR can get you one. You insurance may cover the cost, and if they don't the machine is not very expensive - 50 to 100 dollars. Well worth it.

[Chefjosh]

Thanks shelly.  I think i used that at the chiropractor's office...I wonder if it's the same machine....do they lend those or do you buy it?

I wonder if anyone knows anything about biofeedback?

[shelly405]

Definition: "TENS" is the acronym for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. A "TENS unit" is a pocket size, portable, battery-operated device that sends electrical impulses to certain parts of the body to block pain signals.

The electrical currents produced are mild, but can prevent pain messages from being transmitted to the brain and may raise the level of endorphins (natural pain killers produced by the brain).

TENS units should only be used under the direction of a doctor or physical therapist. Electrodes are attached to the surface of the skin over or near the area where you are experiencing pain. It is important that you learn how to:


correctly put on the electrodes (proper placement is important)
operate the unit
change the batteries
vary the controls and settings (both the frequency and voltage)
set the proper duration and intensity of the stimulation (which depends on the location and type of pain)

TENS units are prescribed for both acute pain and chronic pain conditions such as:

arthritis
joint pain
fibromyalgia

For some chronic pain patients, a TENS unit provides pain relief that can last for several hours.

[shelly405]

I know and understand. It is so hard for people like us, because we really need something to manage the pain. But there are alternatives to opiates. I also got something called a Ten's Unit from my Doctor. It is a personal muscle stimulator - you put these electrodes on where you have pain, and when you hurt you turn it on and it sends a small electrical current to the muscle. It is awsome. Like a teeny-tiny massager. It's contolled with something that looks like a cell phone or pager. May I suggest you see if you can get one?

[Chefjosh]

Thanks shelly.  You are awesome.  I have a follow-up next week with my pain docs after an unsuccessful epidural and facet injection on monday, so i will be certain to ask about it.  I will be honest with you.  I am more than a little nervous to even think about trying to go a day without it.  I am a cook and need to be on my feet from 6am until 3pm or so...but i am just so tired of being messed up all the time.  it's so hard.

[shelly405]

I gotta tell you, I smoked about a month ago, after 15 or 20 years. I did it because here in CA there is a great push to use it medicinally. It didn't do anything but make it worse. I hate being out of control, and it was a HUGE mistake.

May I suggest you tell your DR you want off the hydrocodone (In whatever form) and ask him/her if there is an alternative? I have had GREAT success with the Nortriptyline. It is an anti-depressant at 300 mg. I am taking 30mg for pain. It was dicovered to relieve pain as a side effect, so Drs. are using it now in low doses as a pain reliever. It also makes me sleepy, so this is an added benefit.

I take it before bed, and it works great, all night and the whole day following. And I have horrible pain in my neck, right shoulder and lower left back as a result of the problems with my neck. You mentioned the same bones that I have a problem with and you described almost identical pain that I have in the same places. Please look into it. I think it can help you much better than vicodin.
Shelly

[Chefjosh]

and in the interest of full disclosure, I will enhance the effects of my prescribed meds with a drink and a toke, rather than take an additional pill...

[Chefjosh]

thanks shelly.  I know what you mean.  I will admit, I have a very addictive personality.  I am acutely aware of this fact and as a result I watch myself carefully.  In the past I have used recreational drugs. I have in fact, used hydrocodone as a recreational drug, and i wish i could go back to those "good old days" when pills were for fun; now they are how i manage to dull enough of the pain to work through the shift

It is different now, I am extremely careful to ensure i don't take enough to get high...or ride the wave as you say, i only take as prescribed.  sometimes that means i spend 1.5 hrs in pain watching the clock waiting until it is time for another pill.

[shelly405]

Another thing - The opiates really do intensify the pain. After a few false starts at recovery, I realized my pain is actually worse if I take the vicodin, than if I just take the other meds. So, while the pain is real (I know mine is) it can be managed without opiates, and the opiates make the pain worse.
Shelly

[shelly405]

Hi there,

I too have issues with C5-6 & 7. I was taking Vicodins as prescribed and over time things went haywire for me. After finding this site, I discovered there is a BIG difference between addiction and dependency. The nature of opiates is that if you take them consistently you will develop a physical dependence. This is much different than being addicted - although literally speaking they are the same thing.
DEPENDENCY: If you take say, 5 a day, as prescribed you develop a physical need to take the drug, but you don't need more than that, and do not take them to get high. You still have an addiction, but you do not abuse them.
ADDICTION: You take the drug to get high, run out of your script early, and over  time it takes more and more to get that "Wave" (A new term I think is going to stick in here).

The majority of people that take opiates for pain do so as prescribed, they only take it as needed. But there are people like me, that lost it somewhere, and started using them just to get through the day, we run out early and all we think about is the drug. There are also people that take it as prescribed, but have decided for one reason or another that they want off, and realize that they have to have it.

Are you taking your meds more than prescribed? Do you take them to get high (The Wave)? Do you REALLY need them to be pain free? And, do you want to stop but can't? Figure out which it is, and be honest. There is no shame in this - The nature of opiates is that they are highly addictive. After a few months of trying to stop, I found MedHelp, got help and got off. I asked my Dr. for something else, and he prescribed other drugs for the pain along with Vicodin. I realized I can get by with the Relefan, for arthritis and Nortriptyline, low dose for pain. While he still has me on Vicodin, I am afraid of it now and don't want it anymore. I really had to change my ming about it, and realize that everytime I took it, it would be harder to go through withdrawal, because I can no longer take it one at a time every 4 to 6 hours as needed.
Hope this helps a little.
And if I am wrong about anything, someone will correct me shortly, and I appreciate it if they do. I am still new to recovery and welcome the information.
Shelly

[Chefjosh]

This i something i have been seriously considering for awhile, however I do have great concerns...what about the pain?  It is real, and has real medical causes verified by x-rays, mri, etc...and here, the big question...if it helps me work until the end of the shift, and gets me through the day is 4-5 norcos and one percocet every day really that bad for me?  aren't i the person Watson had in mind when they made these drugs?  I don't overdo it, only taking what is prescribed, but i realize that doesn't change the fact that i am addicted...

[toxictome]

Welcome to this forum.There is alot of good info here. I mainly took pills because I liked the way they made me feel..so i can't really relate to the pain issue, but more people will be along who can answer your question. It's also getting late...so it may be slow tonight....keep posting...good luck!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Welcome to the forum. Getting off the pills is very possible. But solving the chronic pain is not so easy. As you take pain pills, the body actually produces more pain to get it's opiates. After you get off of them, pain levels go down. That doesn't mean they're gone.