The Parent Connection: Does It Even Matter?

[bamamamacat]

I have reached a point where I must let my 29 yr old son go; I can do nothing to stop his self-destructiveness & any attempts on my part are met w/ near-violent hostility, denials, excuses, and placement of blame on everything & everyone except himself. He has been in every possible rehab program since age 14, & has spent most of his 20's in prison for drug-related crimes. He has been out of prison for 7 months & is snorting Oxycodone, which he obtains  legitimately for pain from multiple bulging discs, with orders to take every 6 hrs orally; his next Dr. visit is in 4 days & he has been out of his medication for the past 2 days. He plans to request Roxicet at his next visit. My question is for those of you who are addicted: do your loved ones figure into your day-to-day life, or is the search for the next high the dominant factor in your existence? Do the drugs & the subsequent cravings completely take away the ability to genuinely recognize the hellish pain you create or to appreciate anyone's feelings but your own?  Do you have any idea what it's like to go to bed at night not knowing if your child will still be alive in the morning?  Do you have any comprehension of the literal meaning of unconditional love and how it can rip a family to shreds when given to someone who holds it in such total disregard?  Or, do most of you share my son's attitude toward his family, which goes: "...why don't you focus on your own life and stay out of mine?"  I'm just wondering.

[Josephtyler]

You are going to find most of the people here are recovering or clean, or are just comming here because they want to break free from thier chains. Personally, my loved ones where the inspiration, support and mitigating factor of my choice to recover. It is unfair for you, but I hope for his sake, you dont loose hope and don't give up.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I feel the need to turn this one around for a second. You ask if they have any idea what it feels like to go to bed and not know if your child will be alive in the morning? ( I do - have 2 boys...)   What about go to bed and not know if YOU will be alive in the morning. This thought would upset a great many people. But addicts live with that reality daily. If you can explain one it might shed some light on the other. I dont have the answer to either of them for you.