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Pain vs pills

Hi everyone.  I have posted numerous times in the last 5 months about my addiction to Oxycontin.  I have been off of it since July 13th.  I started taking painkillers for back & headache problems and eventually switched to Oxy on my own & really became addicted to it in high doses.  I didn't even know if I still had pain issues because I took opiates 24 hours a day.
When I decided I wanted to get off of this deadly treadmill of searching for, buying, hoarding & doing pills, I went to my doctor & told him what was going on.  He sent me to an inpatient detox facility & I got sober.  I went to AA/NA meetings almost every day for 3 months & recently celebrated 90 days of sobriety.

However, as soon as I stopped taking opiates, my headaches came back with a vengeance as did my back pain.  I have tried every non-opiate option I can think of to get relief.  Various non-opiate medications have not helped at all.  I am now seeing an accupuncturist as a last resort.  So far, no help.
I don't want to go back on painkillers having lived through the various side effects that they cause.  I love being opiate free, not feeling like a drug addict anymore, at least not an active one.  I have given up all of my various addictions at this point in my life & I LOVE it!
But I cannot handle this pain anymore.  A friend of mine gave me a bunch of Percocets a few days ago & I took them in small controlled doses & the pain relief I got was astounding!  Since I was taking the equivalent of 32 to 64 percs a day in my prime, this was quite a change for me.  I have no desire to abuse them (not now at least) but I know the dangers that are out there waiting for me.  Does anyone have any advice for this pain weary person?
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Avatar universal
To Annie and Cari,  first of all   Annie,  you are too funny....that response to E had me ROFLMAO.....and to Cari,  If you read some of my earlier posts you can see where i was several years ago,  as a Medical professional we have the drugs at our fingertips.  I had everything to los my husband, kids tec. but i did not tink I would get caught....I did, felonies, arrested, grand jury, 6:00 news, the works, the humiliation that went with it was unbelievable.  Good luck on tapering off, but remember you have to be firmly committed to this and willing to deal with possibly a little discomfort.  It is worth it. Maybe you might think about trying some NA/AA meetings?  may help. And then you will see first hand what could have been, have people there to support you and see you are not alone.  I agree with Annie, keep reading the posts, this forum has helped me alot.   take care cindi
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.....Ok.."E", get a grip.  We dont bite!  Give us a little more to go on.  (:
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Dee
e
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.......Read these forums.  They are very informative.  In them, you will see yourself now and where you COULD be if you dont stop.  Realize what would happen if you ever really needed this medication in the future...cancer, diseases, life-long injuries etc.  Your healthy, have a great husband and 3 beautiful healthy children, and dont need to do this.  Try on your own, and if that doesnt work......get some help off the record. Good-luck I know you can do it!Annie
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I'm 25 years old, married with three children. I had my first child when I was a senior in high school. After my first marriage failed I found my wonderfull husband and when I turned 22 I decided to go back to school. I literaly worked my butt off at school to become a pharmacy technician, and am now certified, and have been working in a pharmacy for 2 years..I absolutely love my job and my life. But I've recently developed a problem after being seen for a simple sinus infection....my doctoer prescribed lortab 10/7.5mg for my headaches. She only gave me 20 but when they were gone I was right back to see her for more. It's been 3 months now and I haven't been getting a prescription for the 15-20 lortab I take every day. I've been dishonest to my employer. I love them,(the lortab) love that "HI" they give me. My house is spotless, and I love the mood they put me in, I even take 2 in the morning before work, a few while I'm there, and some more when I get off of work!!!
Tonight I finally admitted to my best friend who happens to be a nurse, that I'm addicted to the cheapest thing in the entire world...yes..did you know we buy them (wholesale) for approx. $15 for 500 of them??!!! They are running my life. They are deadly though, not the hydrocodone in them, the acetaminophen (Tylenol). The max per day for a person is 4 grams, an extra strenght tylenol has 500mg per tab., there is 1000mg in a gram. It kills your liver, and without a healthy liver your better off dead.
I don't know what to do!!! I haven't told my husband, the one I tell everything to, I've been sneeking these stupid pills behind his back and now I want to face my problem and quit!!
I talked to my friend tonight and we came up with this plan....for the next week I'm going to take half the dose I've been taking, then the following week take half of that dose and so on and so on unitl I'm off of them. I'm in a bad situation because I can't really tell my doctor because I work in the same clininc as her, and I'm sure she would legally have to tell my bosses that my job is dangerous to my health, so I'm going tho try to do it on my own..please wish me luck, I need it. I have too much to lose to a pill..my wonderful husband, 3 beautiful children, and myself. I'm really happy that I found a site like this I hope someone could respond with a word of advice, because I could sure use it right now.
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thanks. I'm going to check out the ASAM listings. I need to verify that this guy I'm about to blow $300 on isn't just another serotonin shrink. I'm curious about LAAM, too. It's even longer acting than Methadone, isn't it?
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First of ALL (ROFL) I here what you are saying. I hve talked to a lot of doctors. Not one out of abot ten-twelve new any thing about opiate agonist therapy. I do not know if there are any psyschiatrist in addiction medicine actually know what the hell there are talking about. Personally I know more than every doctor that I spoke with regarding new techniques in addiction medicine. I am sorry if I am coming off as bragging or egotistical,but the whole "lot" of addiction medicine doctors that I have spoke with are totally INCOMPETENT. There are a few doctors that are up and coming addiction medicine specialist that I have come to know by word of mouth are:(our)Dr. Steve seems to know about opiate agonist therapy or treatment,Dr J.Payte MD is a pioneer in the field,( he has a number of clinics in various states. who also has a very good website>> check it out), and Maxwell (Marc) Shinderman MD (also has some sort of website), and lastly the American Society of Addiction Medicine(ASSAM ? or ASAM?) lists doctors that are I presume, experts in the field. This last "ASAM" is available on line. Search addiction medicine on line. Almost everything I have learned has been sparked by things I have researched on line. There is a wealth of info via your home pc search engine. There are competent physicians out there you just have to research to find where. Dr. J. Payte and Dr. Marc Shinderman have both written many articles on opiate agonist therapy or treatment. These three doctors are the most competent along with Dr. Vincent Dole(founder and creator of MMT)in the field of addiction medicine with an extreme speciality in opiate agonist therapies. I hope this gives you somewhere to start Tom. Do not wait. Fentanyl is only deadly when taking blind doses because of the milligram per milligram potency. Example 25 mg of morphine is equal to 1 mg of fetanyl. That is not to be an accurate measure of mg to mg potency only an example of its strength. Fentanyl is actually very safe pain reliever if taken with the proper dose in mind.
Sincerely, Dan(aka Doc)
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I'm finding it hard to locate these "addiction specialists." I've got an appt with a Dr whose name popped up on a Yahoo search under addiction medicine. After ten minutes of conversation it finally comes out that he's a psychiatrist. I made the appt for the 13th of this month anyway ($300 first visit). But I'm wondering if I've got the right guy. I keep hearing about psychiatrists not prescribing narcotics under most circumstances. I'm going to call back tomorrow (got to sneak out to pay phones for this stuff) and ask his nurse or whatever she is if he practices opiate agonist therapy. What do you bet she doesn't know what I'm talking about? I wasted some time last weekend calling "centers" until I realized they were all about detox. Eight out of eight had never even heard of buprenorphin and didn't know what an "agonist" was. One nurse actually said to me, "Yes, I know you're in agony. All addicted persons are." No ****.

Dan, any suggestions what I should ask to ensure I'm talking to the right kind of specialist?
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There is one problem with buprenorphine worth mentioning. I want to switch from methadone to Bup. eventually but I must be down to 40=50 mgm's. of methadone to accomplish this. I am @ 60mgm now and slowly lowering my dose. There are certain things about buprenorphine that are not clear to me yet. It is not a pure agonist opiate. It has some antagonistic properties. Which is why it cannot be used for addicts with very high tolerances without causing withdrawls. If you are over 50 mgm's of methadone it cannot be switched succesfully so I am told. Another thing worth mentioning is that buprenorphine is supposed to have naloxone added to it if used for addiction.(stipulation by the dea but probably can BE gotten around if the patient has pain issues)
Doc...
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thanks, Dan, for the comprehensive answer. One logistical consideration I'm still working on is how I'm going to pay for the program. I have a good job. The irony is, I may not be able to use my own medical insurance without risking having the word "addiction" planted in my medical record. Not a real career booster. However, I'm looking into a private addiction specialist that, I believe, is using buprenorphin, who may be able to officially treat me for "something else" while actually addressing my long-term addiction. I will have some answers next week and will keep people here informed. Thanks again.
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First of all any opiate addict can check themself in to a clinic and usually get dosed the same day. They do a drug screen to make sure you are using. I can tell you all some things about clinics that I know now -- that i didn't know in 1994. First of all do a little research and try to find a clinic which is a "medical model" . All clinics have an attending physician. It is best to find a clinic that has a doctor that is current on all new addiction medicine techiniques and not be like the one I attend and be twenty years behind. Some of these old doctors are very stubborn. To find out what a medical model clinic is like go to Dr. J.Paytes website he runs probably one of the best clinics in the country. He has a very informative website on opiate agonist treatments. He has several clinics spread all over the country. Another is a psychiatrist by the name of Maxwell (Marc) Shindermann MD. He has a wonderful clinic in Chicago. Both of the clinic's I mentioned should be models for ALL clinics. Some are clinics are BETTER than others. If you are lucky you will have a couple of clinics in your area to choose from. MAKE SURE THE CLINIC YOU GO TO HAS LIQUID METHADONE. If you ever want to lower or raise your dose you can do it in small increments. This helpful particularly when lowering ones dose. The two clinics I mentioned offer genuine psychotherapy to help with your addiction. I think Dr. Marc Shindermann is the BEST  in the addiction medicine department because his medical degree is in psychiatry and ADD medicine. If your clinic does not have these wonderful +'s it is always advisable to find a good addiction counselor or if you can afford it employ a addiction psych. M.D. (IMO).  I have found that medical doctors (psych) are much better than PHD psychologist for opiate addiction. Lastly check with the clinics to see if they offer Laam as an alternative. It is best to find a clinic that offers all modes of treatment. Some clinics employ accupucture,massage therapist,and etc. Another thing search for your chapter of N.A.M.A. Every state offer Methadone advocacy groups that offer assistance regarding clinics in your area. Remember there are some lousy and undesirable clinics just like there are some lousy and undesirable doctors. Research is the key here.
Sincerely:Dan S. CDCI(chem dep. coun.)
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What are the consequences of being blacklisted by DEA?
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Pharmacies in your area will be alerted to your status as a drug addict (as listed in the DSM IV manual). When you take a prescrition to a pharmacy they will see through the DEA's investagation that you are going from doctor to doctor (dentist or physician)to get controlled drugs or narcotics. When the DEA goes to a pharmacy doctor and patient names come up that are prescribing and recieving narcotics. Your name as a drug abuser is red flagged at pharmacies and when you find a doctor to prescribe your narcotics he is alerted to what you are doing. All the pharamacies have to do is use your name as a search in their computer and your are caught. At this time I do not know if all pharamacies are equipped with this search equipment but I know the larger drug chains have them. All your doctors are alerted to what you are doing and you will get a letter signed by these doctors that they will not prescribe for you anymore. Some get away with it longer that others - depending how efficient the DEA is in your area. Dan S...
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AS longs as most of you are chasing a high to accomplish pain relief you will be on the opiate addiction treadmill. But most of you will say for me to mind my own business or you are not addicted or I have this problem because I live in a jungle and and its hot, or I do not want to have to go dose with the junkies  and etc. Most should realise, especially the ones that buy drugs off the street that you are no different than the junkies you speak of at these these clinics. Buying drugs from pushers and running from doctor to doctor will eventually get caught by the doctors or the law. This life of scamming doctors is a horrible lifestyle. Anyway this behaviour is a sickness listed in the DSM IV manual. People that do this are mentally sick with a disease called drug addiction. The only  solution to this disease at the present time is opiate agonist therapy. I know most of you are scared of the clinics for one reason or another. You have to realise that THIS method of getting treatment for your pain issues and addictions is legal.  If you read in archives Dr. Steve echoes everything I am saying here. I want so much just for you people to see what you are doing is wrong and eventually get you in trouble legally or dead. Again I was in the same boat most of you are in with prescription drug abuse. I speak from years of doing what most of you are describing. Drug addiction robs you of your free will. You live on the drugs agenda not your own. I also must say that opiate addiction blinds a person of all the facts I have given here. Drug addiction IS a FATAL disease if not treated. Another thing ,denial is what keep most of you active with your disease. I know it is hard for some to admit to being an addict. But the sooner you realise that what you all are doing is a killer disease the sooner you can get your lives in control. People you are participating in behaviours that are symptoms of a disease. Diabetes is a perfect example. If a person deprives themselves of insulin you will suffer the consequences. Methadone  is the only one that will fight pain and drug addiction at the same time. Methadone is available legally for addiction and pain management. Legal status is the key here. Most of you have never been in trouble with the law. Scoring drugs on the streets is illegal. Going fromm doctor to doctor is not illegal but will eventually get you blacklisted by the DEA and it is possible that you can ruin a good doctors career. That is one reason some  doctors seem not to care about chronic pain. The point I am making here is self medicating yourselves will get you deeper and more painfully addicted. You all are trying to cure a disease that has no cure at this point. Again, you must get some kind of treatment for this deadly disease. What I have said will offend a lot of the readers of this message. I will get responces from readers that say I can't possibly understand what (I) am going through or you do not know how horrible and debilitating my pain is. Again I have been where most of you are. I was suffering from the pain of two herniated discs and much pains radiated in my legs. Methadone allowed me to conquer my pain pill addiction and put a control on my opiate addiction. All I am trying to do is offer some hope for those that are suffering from legitimate pain and drug addiction. There is help out there waiting for you. I will give my E mail address to anyone who want information on opiate agonist therapy. ASK for it when you respond to my post. Sincerely, Dan LCDC intern...
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Dan, I looked up the methadone info exchange and found a Santa Ana, CA clinic listed (I'm in Laguna Beach, CA). I hope you haven't taken from my posts that I don't know I'm an addict. I've know that for 27 years. Question: What was the process like for you to get onto a methadone program? Should I contact an addiction doc first and go with a referral? Are you on a true maintenance program, as opposed to a limited "forced detox." I would never hack it on anything but a long-term program. Believe it or not, I know everything you say is true and I would love to be free of this. It's just been a long time since I've had any real hope. In 27 years, I once did 6 months clean and, even though I was working a program (how well I don't know), those 6 months were excruciating. I deeply respect AA. I wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for AA. But I need something like what you've got. Thanks in advance. tom
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I have suspected that this was happening and now I know for sure.  Thanks for the information.  My father-in-law was a pharmacist that owned three stores for many years. They used to just burn or shred the cashed in scripts, but that was before DEA. Now everything goes into a data base and probably stays there forever.  It's enough to make anybody paranoid!
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Her name is Marty which Is short for Martha. She is probably the strongest person I've ever known.
Sorry about your nephew, it's tough. In the last year, we've lost three family members to cancer but they were well into thier sixties and seventies. Losing someone so young is terrible!
We lost our youngest daughter last February to epilepsy and I am having a bad time getting over it. Thanks for the prayers! They do help. They do help.
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I've heard good things about Taxol. Thank god for modern medicine. You'll have to tell me her name so we can remember her in our prayers. I've already posted about laying my 10-year old nephew to rest last week in Seattle. Just when I think I have challenges, I hear about someone like your wife and realize I've pretty much gotten a free pass through life. Of course, we're all mortal and the free pass will expire one day. Facing mortality is a sobering experience indeed. Don't even need AA to get the full effect.
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After five months of treatment with Taxol, my wife's tumors are shrinking! We've had quite the battle with cancer since 1994. It started out in her ovaries and was later found in her colon. It is now in both lungs. My poor wife has had more chemo and radiation than any six people I now of. Incidentally, she reminded me that she was on the patch for a while but thought it was morphine instead of Fentanyl. I don't remember as she's been on so many meds that I can't keep track of them. She liked the IV machine with the push button the best. I watched her nurse change the morphine casette one day and was amazed at the size of the thing! It looked like it might hold four oz. or so. Yeah, I hope you never have to be in the pain my poor wife has endured for six years. I don't think that I could have ever handled it!
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I hope I never have anything that justifies one of those patches. Of course, I'm curious. I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I hope the expensive treatments are helping her. I'd be heartsick if my wife got the big c. At least you're going through all of this together. My best wishes to both of you.
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I hope I never have anything that justifies one of those patches. Of course, I'm curious. I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I hope the expensive treatments are helping her. I'd be heartsick if my wife got the big c. At least you're going through all of this together. My best wishes to both of you.
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We watched the same PBS show and as I recall it was going to cost the woman $4000 per month. Unbelievably expensive stuff!
My wife goes to a clinic every Friday for chemotherapy(she has lung cancer) and the three hour treatment is over $2500. I'm just waiting for her insurer to cut her off. If that's legal?
You don't really put the patch on your forehead do you? I'm pretty gullible but.....
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Have you tried NSAIDS or Ultram?  I know they both suck, but Ultram does relieve pain a little.  The idea above is a good idea, but trust me, I tried to invent something last year, and You don't know what you are getting yourself into.  You will need approx 17,000 to 30,000 dollars.  That is just for a none working prototype.  Then you have to do a search for previous patents. 400 dollars an hour, apply for a patent 6000 dollars, well you get the point. Anyway it is a great idea, you should at least try and sell the idea to somebody.  Look for inventors information on www.google.com you will find more than enough.  Tkae Care and the best of luck to you Gene !!
Chad
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My wife and I were watching a PBS special about terminal cancer patients (my nephew died last week from cancer), and there was a segment showing a doctor discussing the duragesic patch with a patient. There were no hard numbers, but the gist of the conversation was that her family was going to have to step in and buy the patches for her to get her through her last months. It sounded like they were talking in the thousands (!). Why not call a pharmacy, or a hosptital pharmacy. I've heard they're extremely effective, in any event. That's why I slap one on my forehead every morning as I leave for work. Makes it hard to see to drive, but nothing's perfect. Good luck.
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