my heart is broken

[kmb22]

today was a beautiful sunny blue bird day in colorado.  the perfect day to snowboard.  my roomate ran out of pills.  he was hurting big time.  i convinced him to come snowboard to keep his mind off of it, hoping maybe he would stop all together.  he spent the ENTIRE day on the phone trying to weasel his way in to refilling his scrip 3 days early, which he was successful at.  this is my only day off of work, so OBVIOUSLY i want to enjoy it.  i need new boots because mine are old and blown out and i figured the $$$ i have saved in the last 19 days adds up to me treating myself to brand new amazing orange boots.  i went to the shop after i was done riding since it was in the same town and not really close to my actual house and my roomate was just ***** ***** bitching the whole time cause he HAD to get to the dr. by 4.  he stayed in the car while we went in the shop and when we came out he was gone, he had someone come pick him up!  my boyfriends friend, and my boyfriend let his friend take his car.  i am so fed up.  and so heart broken.  there is no help for him, i am starting to accept this.  but my heart is broken.  i wish there was SOMETHING i could do.  i have to cut him out of my life, i figured this out today, and it's not because i am tempted to do pills, there was nothing tempting about how ridiculous he was acting today, i NEVER want to be like that.  it's just because his behavior is so embarrassing to me, around my other (non pill popping friends)....i understand what he is going through, so i want to help but.......ughhhh

on a side note day 19::::::i feel happy and clear headed...today was a good day.

[kmb22]

night riding is the BEST!

[gizzy32]

Congrats on 19 days clean, your kicking ***:) I am looking forward to skiing this winter again, it's so much fun, I love night skiing the most, nobody can see me fall haha.

Sorry to hear about your roomate, it is heartbreaking for anyone in active addiction, but until he is ready there is not a lot you can do right now. Just focus and your recovery right now, your doing so good. Glad you had a great day.