pre-pregnancy addiction

[indigois6]

Hi - I've been a migraine sufferer for 20 years and have tried everything - natural and precription. I've been addicted to Percosets and Fioricet now for about 3 years. Nothing is working for my headaches any more because I'm probably popping too many pills (maybe 7 a day average). But here's the thing, I know I have to quit, I want to quit. My husband and I are going in next month for IVF (in-vitro egg transfer) and soon I'll be on fertility drugs. I have to clean up quick. For me and my future baby. Can't seem to do it on my own and I'm going to somehow try to fess up to my general Dr. today. I'm terrified she's going to take everything away from me!!! I experienced withdrawals 2 years ago and quit for two weeks, but then had a bad migraine and started up all over again. I still have to have something that's going to work for my migraines. I'm hoping when I become pregnant, they'll stop. My IVF Dr. has already OK'd the ocassional use of Percosets during my pregnancy should I need them. But I'll be playing with fire. Is there a safe alternative for now and then? If all goes according to plan, I'll be pregnant early May. Help and hurry!

[The Golden Slipper]

Woops!! Sorry in my last post I made reference to you seeing a neurologist.  Sorry I had you confused with someone else I have been corresponding with who is going to a new neurologist.

Sorry about that I get confused easily, that happens as you get older.  I think the pills may have messed up my mind a bit.  I am not very good at multitasking these days.

Anyway I better get back to work so please take care and keep us informed of your progress.


Golden

[The Golden Slipper]

So glad to hear that you are checking on treatment options. This is my own personal experience and not for everyone, but I go to 2 AA meetings per week and I do have a sponser who is guiding me through the 12 steps. I also see a counselor at a treatment center every other week.

This is not for everyone and I certainly don't want to push AA but it seems to be helping me.  I also practice Yoga which I find to be very centering and helpful. I don't know to much about the hypnosis but perhaps other people do.

Everyone finds their own way, what we have to realize is that we are hooked on this stuff and have to take recovery seriously.  Whether we decide to go with Smart Recovery, AA or some other option.  

I know that with abuse of fioricet you may have to wean slowly off of the drug due to the rebound headaches. I have been off fioricet since November although due to rebounds have had to take it again recently.  My doc writes the script for a small amount with no refills.  I have one doctor and am no longer doctor hopping which got me into alot of trouble.

You may not have the rebound problem some people don't.  I hope the neurologist is able to help you.  Be sure to ask him how familiar he/she is with the drugs that you are taking and the withdrawal symptoms associated with them.  Like I said, it is difficult to find docs who understand the danger of these drug.

Anyway, good luck to you and again please feel free to visit us on the other forum at our Fioricet thread.  There are alot of really good people over there.

This forum is also great and I have found much comfort reading people's posts.

Take Care
Golden Slipper

[indigois6]

Thanks everyone, for your advice. These last few days have brought on a lot of soul searching! I feel good (but physically bad, have had a headache now for days) but I'm dealing. I found out that just about every hospital in my area has some form of help or another so I'm going to contact a particular one today that offered out-patient assistance and counciling. I feel so good about not wanting these drugs any more. It's really a relief. I have to hang on to this feeling and make it last. There were so many tasks I did when I was "high" that I'll have to do without the drugs but I feel like I'm ready. It was almost as regimented as someone smoking. Have one on the way to work, two before the grocery store, etc. I only took two yesterday and I'm hoping I won't get completely withdrawn from that and that I'll be able to work myself down from there. Has anyone ever gone the unconventional route and tried different therapies, like Reiki or Hypnosis? I just happened to pick up a free health magazine and it said that a certain form of hypnosis: hypnosynergetics can alter or change certain behaviors,from nail-biting to over eating to addiction. Thought it might be worth checking in to. Reiki can help with migraines. Thanks again for your support and well-wishes!

[Lapark]

Oh my!  Do we have a lot in common!  I too am ttc and am addicted to a narcotic...mine just happens to be codeine, which I take for irritable bowel syndrome.  I believe that I haven't been able to conceive because of taking it...which is what led me to this site.  I have spoken to the pharmacist about it along with a load of doctors and everybody has a different opinion regarding the safety and the effects on fertility/embryology.  I would very much like to correspond with you - maybe we can help eachother through this.  I TRULY understand the dilemma.  I have also suffered from mind blowing migraines in the past (I haven't had one since I started taking codeine though, which has been an absolutely wonderful addition to relieving all my symptoms of IBS) so I know what it's like for you, minus the drug.  Please feel free to e-mail me anytime at ***@****  As far as your hubby policing you...it doesn't sound like such a bad idea to start with.  I need someone to monitor me  (I don't like the "police" term too much.....)  I wish you the best and I hope to hear from you.

[nurse12hr]

Yeah, I "policed" my husbands Perc use, too.  What he did was to tear up the house every time I went out trying to find it.  When I started keeping it in my purse, he went thru THAT when I went to bed.  Ridiculous.  I finally gave it back and told him I wasn't his policeman.  

Eventually (years later after an unrelated health scare) he quit on his own.  

I still maintain that pregnancy and parenthood are THE MOST stressful times of our lives.  You aren't doing your future child any favors if you don't seriously work on this BEFORE you get pregnant.  

As a nurse and a cancer survivor, I understand pain.  But there is help, there are pain clinics available.  And rebound pain is a very real possibility for you.  Get help. Deal with your addiction issues.  Then work on the pregnancy issue.  Easy to say, I know.  It isn't.  Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.  

If you close your eyes to your real problems and jump on the IVF train, you will eventually get bit in the a@@.  Deal with it now, or later.  Your choice.  But it will be so much harder, later.

[The Golden Slipper]

You said you live in Western Mass.  I live just south of Boston and my sister lives in Western Mass up over the Mohawk Trail in  Clarksburg.

There are many treatment centers in that area.  My sister is a social worker and I know she has worked for a few of these places.  Maybe you could find an outpatient detox that could help you get off of the drugs.  If you were taking as many fioricet as you say you may have some withdrawal symptoms to deal with and you may have cravings for the drug.  

I don't mean to scare you but I know from experience what this is like. Please consider getting some kind of treatment. I tend to agree with Christie that a few months won't make that much difference and it will give you time to deal with addiction which is a serious problem.

Ulitmately, it is up to you and no matter what you decide we are here to support you.

Please keep posting
Golden Slipper

[nurse12hr]

I would say if your doc gave you pure Percs, he/she is not doing you very much of a favor.  When my husb was taking Percs, the only thing that limited him was fearing liver failure from the Tylenol in them.  I can only imagine how much he would have taken if they were pure!

I can hear how much you want to be a mother.  I can only say that motherhood, while rewarding, is full of frustrations, anger, fear, panic, love, laughs, hysteria, and HEADACHES.  Figural and literal.  If I had an addictive personality, I would have been on heroin to deal with my kids.  It is only now, when they are grown, that I can look back and laugh about some of it.  

Please, reconsider dealing with the addiction process first.  Give yourself a minimum of 6 months to detox and get some help with this major, major problem.  THEN pursue your pregnancy goals.  6 months won't make or break the process, but giving yourself/future child 6 months to detox and heal may mean the world.  

[Forum-M.D.-rcb]

I am sorry that I will not recommend any drugs for you. It is your decision. I believe that several of the suggestions made to you are excellent. There would be nothing lost in your waiting a number o fmonths and detoxifiying. I think it is naive for you to continue taking any Percocet, controlled or not. I also agree that you need to consider the effect on the infant if you are confronted with problems and still haven't achieved control of the migraine. Rapid detox is not for you. You've made the first step by levelling with the doctor and now do a little more reality check with the now and the future.

[indigois6]

I came home today after going to the Drs. to find all of your messages and it was so comforting! Thank you all so very much. To begin facing the reality of this addiction is tough! I've been (sort of) working on it for almost a year. I'll be 40 this year and we've already had months of delays in the IVF process so I don't want to wait any longer. I'm hoping it will finally be my BIG kick in the pants. Every delay though, I have felt, has bought me more time with these pills. I told my Dr. today that I felt I was addicted and that I'm taking on average 7 pills a day (either all of one type or a mix). I don't think she believed I'm addicted and she felt I was getting more headaches because of the Tylenol rebound. She gave me a new script for Percosets with no Tylenol, discontinued my script for Fioricet and put me on a low dose antidepressant as a preventative for the migraines (this worked for me for about a year back in 95). I've been reluctant to do this because I didn't want to take something everyday - but that's what I'm doing anyway, right? My husband said he would take the Percoset bottle and police me. So, I guess I got what I wanted, my safety net hasn't been completely taken away. I have Imitrex in every form, but once you're pregnant that med is a definite no no. I think it's a Category X. But my whole truth hasn't been told, I need to still wean off of these. I quit cold turkey last time and I thought I was going to die for about a week. What exactly is Rapid Detox? How long is rapid? Why did you say, Dr., that if I didn't have migraines, I could rapid detox? I want to try this on my own (I bet everyone says that) but what do I do? If I need help, where do I go for confidential, anonymous help? I live in Western, Massachusetts. Thank you again everyone, and I will definitely check out the Fioricet site you had mentioned.

[The Golden Slipper]

I have to agree, the addiction problem needs to be dealt with and you might want to think of that as your first priority.

IVF is an emotional roller coaster.  Please give thought to dealing with this addiction first.

Please keep us updated on how you are doing and again you are welcome to join us on the "fioricet thread"

Golden Slipper

[nurse12hr]

Personally, I would conquer the addiction problem first, before you compound everything with the emotional roller coaster that is IVF and parenthood.  

Having said that, I know you probably won't.  You must be honest with your doctor about EXACTLY how much you take, and see an addictionologist for help getting off.  You are right; you are playing with fire.  But now, TWO people will get burned.

[The Golden Slipper]

I can understand your desperation.  I don't have experience with the percocets but I know alot about fioricet.  I too have had migraines for over 20 years and became addicted to fioricet.  I was taking 8-10 per day off and on for many years.

It is a dangerous drug because it sets you up to get more headaches which are called "rebounds". You said you take 7 a day does that mean that you take 7 percs and 7 fioricets?? Please try to be honest with your doc it is so important now that you are trying to get pregnant.

There is a whole group of us who are addicted to fioricet over on the "DrugAbuse.Com" forum under the "support" section. Please feel free to hop over there and post. You will get alot of support with the fioricet addiction.  As far as the percs there are many good people on this forum who will reply that have alot of experience.

I know how bad migraine headaches are and it is so easy to get caught in the trap of taking too much medication.  Please be good to yourself I have been through IVF twice and I know how stressful it can be.  

Please think of yourself and your future child. Fess up to your doc and if he is not willing to help you find and addictionologist who specializes in addiction.

Please join us on the other forum

Take Care and best of luck
Golden Slipper