Quit drinking. Started doing cocaine

[Benny1066]

I've been an addict most of my life.  For the most part I've been functional, never got arrested, never been to rehab, but yeah I've done my fair share of horrific ****.  My biggest problem has been drinking.  Yes, in addition to drinking I also use marijuana daily as well am prescribed klonopin.  I'm hoping to get these substances out of my life as well but drinking has really been the center of all my problem. I don't drink daily, I'm a binge drinker, so my addiction is more behavioral/psychological than physical.  I recently started drinking again after giving it up for about a year.   When I initially stopped drinking it was not even intentional.  It just happened as my life was going well and the triggers that would set me off no longer had the pull they once did.  About 6 months ago my fiancée left me and I've been in a downward spiral ever since.  I'm currently seeing an addiction specialist in the city and recently got an Antabuse.  I've been on it for a month and have not drank however I've had two cocaine binge during this period.  I'm actually not much of a Coke guy, although I've definitely done it my fair share, however I'm clearly just bingeing on something else.  I know these binges stem from an overall unhappiness in my life and I am trying to fill these gaps but it's going to take some time before I'm going to be in a state of emotional well being.  Overall I'm able to sustain stretches but at a certain point my mechanics are set off and a binge will begin.  These usually last two days and then take another 2 to recover so it takes a lot out of me.  I also have a lot of work obligations which is why I got on my the Antabuse to begin with as the hangovers would just take to much out of me.  Cocaine is a little different, "Wall Streets Drug of choice", however the come down, malnutrition, and post depression that go with it aren't much better.  I've been reading about the Sinclair method and am interested in behavior modification.  I'm trying to get a better understanding of the whole bingeing thing in general

[jifmoc]

You didn't ask a question, but it seems you want help. Stop trying to figure this out, my friend. You are an addict, thru and thru and cannot do this alone. If you can go to rehab, and stay there for a significant amount of time, do it now. If not, go immediately to AA or NA. None of us can do this alone. You'll just keep substituting until you dead. I know you want off this insane merry go round, and meetings/treatment are the way. Please get out of your own way and take the advice of those that have been where you are.