Relapsed so many times I think I just accepted I would always be in active addiction

[Lyns0416]

I'm feeling extremely ready to be done with my oxy addiction. I honestly feel different this time that I want this time to be the last time I ever have to quit. I know relapse is supposedly a part of recovery, but was just curious - in your experience (s) ... How many relapsed but eventually stayed clean ?

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey:

I haven't relapsed yet...but I've only got a little over 9 months in.   I get pain (my back, and chest) so bad at times, that I KNOW if I had access to pain pills, I would take them.

That is why I continue in my aftercare (AA, MH, anyone who will listen to me, any addict who shares with me, anywhere, anyplace, any time!)

I have a childhood friend who has 25 years in AA.  He refuses to count days, months, years, etc.  Won't accept a cake on his anniversary.  He starts out his story at stand-up meetings with "Hi my name is Joe.  I'm an alcoholic/addict.  I am sober TODAY."

The past is over, done, gone.  The future is a theory. (!)  Just micro-focus on each day.  Keep putting together 24 hours....and luckily, 8 of them involves sleep!  

You can do this.  I have a friend who went to rehab 35 times...finally got clean.  Of course I don't recommend relapsing 35 times (she is a miracle to be alive) but it is a testament to the human spirit.  Where there is life, there is always REAL hope.

Hugs,
-Robin

[senterio]

ally agree with what everyone has said...in own experience thus far the best advice ive received is rather similar to the serenity prayer.(GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO EXCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.. One of my main struggles that let to my last relapse was the lack of sleep.. I drove me completely INSANE!!!!!! It was all that i could think about 24/7 Which took my anxiety to a very scary place and eventually i relapsed just to get some sleep.. of course we're all different and we all go through withdrawals in different ways But this advice took my confidence and my will power to a entirely new level... That advice was ..... Simply except things that for the moment you have no control over.. I knew what hell i was about to face again and i didnt go into it scared this time... In a way i guess you can say i fought back... It worked so well for me... Im now over a month into this c/t no sleeping aids no nothing and i feel so blessed to actually ba seeing improvements and doing it with the help of no pills... I know i have a long ways to go but now i truly know i can make it... Good luck to you and im always preying for everyone going thorough our struggle....

[tramuser99]

Relapse is common and even more common among opiate users. The best way to make a serious attempt at getting clean is getting help, it's so hard to do alone and it only takes one weak moment to ruin your progress as I am sure you know. We tend to hate ourselves during this time and are used to letting ourselves down, however when they are other people helping you it gives you more will power because you also don't want to quit on them. So many of us try to live this life in secret and it's gets overbearing when you are suddenly not able to use pills to mask everything. I am going through it now.

[dedicatedtostop]

Hey there,
Don't be too hard on yourself! It's happens to the best of use. Myself included. Take all those times you relapsed and remember what you done wrong.. Someone here made this quote and I Love it " if it doesn't challenge you, if won't change you". If you deep down, sincerely want to quit you CAN and you WILL!! Talk to us here and we will help you in any way possible. Posting is a great step but please, stop thinking about what you have done wrong in the past, you can't change it! Take what you can change and Run with it!!! I know you CAN!!

[pillguy]

Jugglin is right on target with the key issue.  We can't do the same thing over and over then expect a different outcome.  Evaluate what has worked in your favor on those previous attempts and what has caused you to resume using.  
Eliminate those things causing you to relapse.  We know that's not always easy to do.  If it was easy no one would have relapses.  Take care and keep posting.  There's a huge wealth of knowledge within the folks on this site.  


Cheers,

[Danny111]

I relapsed more times than I can remember.  Several times a year for several years.  The last time felt different though for some reason.  The others times I always had a thought in the back of my mind that it would be ok to use just a little at some point once I was no longer hooked.  

[jugglin]

Hi there and welcome!  There are SOOO many folks who have relapsed...time after time...and eventually stayed clean.  Learn from your relapse...what was the trigger that started you using again?  How can you change this?  The folks who get clean are folks who realize that things need to change in order to stay clean.  What will you do differently this time?  How will you change your life?  There are so many types of aftercare to help you learn to deal with the "why's" of addiction and tools to help you cope. Counseling, church, NA/AA, Celebrate Recovery, SMART Recovery.  The list goes on.  
If you are done with being sick and tired, you have come to a wonderful forum full of support from folks from all walks of life and different journey's in recovery.
Prayers out to you and congrats in taking your life back!