Roxycodone /Oxycodone Withdrawal

[DesperatelyInPain]

Hello...I have been facing pain for most of my adult life with one painful condition after another. Doctors turned their backs on me when I lost my insurance because I "completed" school, and I was injured on a school trip badly, while studying abroad to complete a double major. Because I was abroad and not on their grounds, the lawsuit was first moved out of my county and then to the school's. Which was where they had connections in the system to get my legit case against them thrown out before I was even granted a trial. They even had the teachers that befriended me turn their backs on my because they did not get me the care I was due in Europe when I was on additional international insurance. They kept saying the doctor was 2 hours away and they had work to do when they weren't teaching. One was a part time resident, and the other was from "there" as well. This left me stuck seeing a fraudulent doctor the hotel left me to. The doctor only spoke their language which left me at a disadvantage and I was unable to communicate on my own. She began pressing on my back and laughing at my cries of pain, and said a hospital would have laughed at me too. I just have a cut from impact of falling directly on my lower back on a marble step in a museum.... She gave me a script for iodine and bandages and naproxene for the immediate inflammation. My teacher immediately bought me a medication not in the US that removed bruising which was extensive within 30 min of my fall. I was outraged. But I thought I was going to be o.k. I had no idea how serious this really was until I got back home and the University covered my initial diagnosis appts.However, I had to endure 6 more weeks of this nagging pain. The teachers knew they messed up and because drug laws are much different there, they obtained over the counter percs and codeine syrup for me. This helped me walk the miles a day I needed for the courses. The teachers even blatantly lied in their depositions, which hurt even more. I have now lost any connections into my field. Which I know now, I cannot actually, physically work a normal job for the rest of my life. The University knew I did not have the unlimited resources that the they did, I could not pay the $5k needed to re-instate my case and have it go above the first judge.

I had a boss that saw my suffering and he referred me after 2 years of legal back and forth to a doctor he knew would help me, because of their personal history (we all were like a family). I was eternally grateful, and I knew my boss was, because he hated having to see me work from home. Although I got my work done, I was missing out on the commission work, which was the most damning to me...

My fiance' had come to every doctor appointment and the doctor was convinced that surgery was not an option- it was too risky! Not even physical therapy will do much he said. I have an avulsion fracture with a shard of bone that is protruding and facing towards my interior organs. Most dr.s are shocked bc this is so difficult to detect on a regular x-ray and it's just obviously visible. In addition I have a painful bladder condition called interstitial cystitis for almost 10 yrs now. I was diagnosed younger than most sufferers, which may have been induced by my stressful family life. Additionally, and more recently, I fell and really hurt my knee in a freak accident. I couldn't bend it for weeks and when I saw my dr. he gave me an injection so I could start moving it again.

The doctor put me on percs initially, 10mgs / 1-2 twice a day. This quickly began to escalate as I finally realized how much pain I had been ignoring as I have a high tolerance for pain to begin with. Then it was the roxys @ 15mg/ 1-2 twice daily. Then it became increased and lead me to the 30mgs of roxy / 1-2 daily, then where I am @ now, which is 30mgs/ 3 @ a time, twice daily. If the pain is severe, I will take up to 4 @ a time. I frequently will crush up @ least one of the pills and snort it so that it hits me right away as I am paralyzed w/ pain when I wake. I can barely get from my bed to the couch. Let alone walk my big puppy that I'm afraid will pull me and further injure my weak frame. I never used to crush up the pills. Another wonderful thing MY family taught me to do as they are ALL drug abusers. My Xanax for my anxiety doesn't even seem to help anymore.

I'm crying all the time. After 2 years of this, I just want to be normal.. I'm supposed to be getting married, and MY family only cares about stealing my meds from me when I visit. My "in-laws" are supportive, but they don't know the extent. And I'm afraid my father-in-law's reike treatments and list of holistic vitamins will not be of any use to stop this lack of appetite, incredibly fast weight loss that has just been happening (like 20lbs, so now I am under my high school weight and at the skinniest I have been my whole life!). I had gained a lot of weight for me- 15lbs. (5'3"/128-130lbs/F/late 20's) which lead me to that weight and I couldn't shake it, and now all of a sudden I am getting SKINNY. I don't know why, but I have no desire to eat... There's burning pain all over my body, fevers, sweats, painful urination, trembling, behind the eye pain, inability to sleep, lack of sex drive, back pain, knee pain and now the constant guilt and depression.

I'm so ashamed of how out of control the meds got. I don't have anyone I can really trust other than my fiance', as I don't even have a mother or brother anymore. They were using me for $ and when I lost my job, they kicked me to the curb bc they had no free ride anymore. I am so lonely after having to move an hour and a half from my home town. I can't turn to my Dad's family as none of them can be trusted (all the gossip, the thievery). This hurts me so much as I finally just got them in my life as my mother was keeping me away since I was young.

I just want to be the best I can for my new family to be. I want to be able to have children and I don't even know if I will even be able to do this because of my conditions on my own. The drs all say that I would be on full bed rest the entire time, which is just so depressing for me. I know my fiance' wants a family as much as I do, and that is one of the reason why I was to beat this demon drug that the pharmacies put out to make us all complacent, weak minded zombies. They don't care about ANY of us. They want ALL of us on various drugs so we are like this and unaware or simply disinterested in the actual troubles of this world today. "Big Pharma" only cares about $$ and #s.

I have been reducing my meds to 1/30 mg and 1/15 mg twice a day. This is even to little and too soon. The holidays are coming up and I'm afraid this is going to make me anti-social and unable to interact. The holidays are always hard for me because I feel so alone, familial wise, to begin with. Having my birthday in less than 2 weeks does not help either. I don't know what to do.... My fiance' and I did decide that we would marry on paper so I could be added to his insurance quicker. However, this will take 180 days from the date of marriage to allow my pre-existing conditions to be eligible for care. The only good thing is that the insurance does cover detox recovery at facilities. I don't know if I should just wait till then, which will be 3 months from this or next month (whenever we can get all the doc's for the marriage together). Any advice on what I can do??? Please help... I just don't if I can handle this right now- physically or emotionally. I have only taken 1/2 of my 30mg pill today, once. AND I AM IN AGONY....

Please pray for me. THANK YOU.....

[oxycodonehelp]

Yes I agree! You should try to quit these pills and maybe roll with some advil or aleve. I know it sounds stupid but they lower inflamation and that will help with light exercise. You see when your taking high doses of oxy then your body doesn't make its own source of pain blockers anymore. So what happens is you now are only relying on pain meds and they have a very short life in your body since they are immediate release. All of this pain you are feeling is because the meds aren't working as well anymore and your body isn't compensating accordingly. When you quit taking oxy your pain response in your brain will slowly come back and eventually work better than pills ever could in the long run!  I've always been in it for the high. I was at 120mg of oxycodone and now I'm down to 60mg and working toward 45mg which I will quit cold turkey from. And I snort it all, I have been for 2 years. I'm married and my wife does it as well and let me tell you it absolutely kills any feelings or sex drive you have!  Basically what I'm saying is there are a lot of us out here who take these pills and are battling every day with then so u r not alone. Best thing you can do is taper down if your able to and if not then just quit. It won't be fun at all but at least you can have a life again and you won't feel so guilty! The guilt is incredible if you have kids, trust me it is something I will have to live with down the road when I look back and realize I waisted 2 years of my kids childhood getting high. Don't get me wrong I love them and am with them 24\7, but they deserve better than this ********!!

[overopiates]

  I absolutely agree w/ricart.I just wanted to say that withdrawl is not easy or fun BUT physical w/d is over pretty quickly(4-7days).I can see ur bigger concern is afterwards if u will b able to function with the pain.It's very true that once u start on the pain meds u will feel more pain which is ur bodies way of getting u to take more. It will take a few weeks to know ur real pain level after u quit(which u don't have to go to inpatient rehab for u can do it at home).U have2look at ur life right now.Ur miserable anyway while taking the meds.They will cause u to be an emotional wreck.Once u have a clear head u will feel a lot better.As for the xanax.if u decide to detox at home quit the opiates completely first then talk to ur doctor about a slow taper on those.Unlike opiates which u can quit c/t u cannot do that w/benzos.If u explain u want to quit the opiates to ur doctor he can give u a taper plan as well as meds to help w/ ur w/d like clonidine which helps a lot too.I'm so sorry u got caught up n such a mess.

[challenger10]

Hi...it appears you have many issues at the moment and trying to figure them all out at once will drive the most sane insane. Ask yourself this: what do I want? If you didn't want to get clean you wouldn't be writing to this site, right? Can you talk with a Dr. and ask them to titrate you off the meds?  If not, is there an E.R. you can walk into and ask them for help?  I will keep you in my thoughts/prayers....you are not alone...
challenger10

[ricart70]

Hi I am sorry you are in such a predicament.I was reading your post and saw.... The doctor put me on percs initially, 10mgs / 1-2 twice a day. This quickly began to escalate as I finally realized how much pain I had been ignoring as I have a high tolerance for pain to begin with
   It seems to me this would be a good indicator that the introduction and use of the pills were actually causing alot of the pain they were supposed to alleviate.Do these pills make you feel happier or better mentally?
It is very possible to detox off of this amount at home.I think you will feel alot better if you do that.I was on oxy because of a badly broken arm.I now have way way less pain than when I was taking the oxy.I became addicted to the high.Are you adicted to the high?   We are all here for you.Keep posting and let us know how you are