Hi. I was told that I should post this, so here goes. I am married and my husband and I both take Lortab. We each have a prescription for 180 each per month (6 a day each). The Lortab are 10/500 and we have been on them for a long time. Several years in fact. We both want to quit, can't talk to family about it, and do not want to involve any programs because we have 3 children. We do not take more than we are prescribed, but I know there is an addiction. Our children are 14, 13, and 8. We are 31 and 33. My biggest fear is for my children. I can not lose them. I have been a Mom since age 17 and my husband had been a "Deda" as they call him, since he was 18. Any thoughts or advice for me?
Hun, you wont get your kids taken away for getting yourselves help ,plz don't worry about that .The two of you need to make a recovery plan and stick to it ...... I hear having both hubby and wife going threw withdrawals can be very difficult so you two might want to think of going one at a time ,As soon as one gets threw the physical withdrawl the next one starts ,just an idea...
Welcome you have found a found a great place to learn and get support ,your dose was not huge so you can do this.You have 2 choices to taper off over the next couple of weeks or to stop altogether.If you decide to stop you will feel like the flu for a few days.The time frame is different for everyone.I do not think it will be terrible because of lower dosage.I chose CT(cold turkey)because when I tried detox all I would think about was next pill.You have to really really want it.Since you have kids maybe one could do it first and two weeks later the other.You could tell kids you have the flu.There is a recipe that is a comboof vitamins that can help with discomfort.I am day 22 after taking those things for a long time and I feel sooo much better.Also keep reading posts they help you realize you are not alone.There are 40 million addicted to perscription drugs in the US and here we are.Good Luck you can do this.You will get alot more advice from some really smart kind people here
Thanks. I really really do want this. My oldest daughter is a freshman and she is on the Varsity Competitive Cheer Squad and she gets straight A's, has an after school baby-sitting job, and also is on Student Council. She was nominated for Home-coming Queen(unfortunately she did not win), but she is so great. She is in DARE, and she started a campaign at her school about not having sex. My middle child (also a girl), is on the honor roll, and she is very talented as well. She loves music as much as me and she has an electric guitar. My son is my youngest and the hardest. He almost died at birth due to apnea and was on a monitor for the first year and a half of his life. I do NOT want to miss all the wonderful things to come with them due to these stupid pills. I am forgetting important things, and I never did that....EVER. I have missed a few school events and tht is not like me, I am very involved in all my kids do. I am so tired of this endless cycle and I am soooooooo ready to be done with this. Yesterday, I had made up my mind to start cutting back "tomorrow", but then I realized that tomorrow never comes! So, yesterday instead of taking my normal 6, I took a total of 3. 2 of them were my regular 10/500 and the other one which I took in the middle of the day was a 7.5/750. I didn't even think it was too bad to cut my dose in half yesterday, but I also had the enjoyment of "chatting" on IM with a great person on here. That really helped and kept my mind off the pills. I am going to only take what I absolutely think I NEED in order not to "go crazy" from the W/D.....but I am not an idiot either, and so I am giving myself a time frame of 2 weeks to be down to 0!!!!!!! I do not want to drag this out. I want to be done so my husband can also start and be done, and we can have our lives back. Sorry about this book....LOL ......but I greatly appreciate any feedback. It has really helped me even tho I have not been here long (only 2 days). .....but that is a start, and I plan on finishing, and making friends, and being a success story. P.S. My daughters are old enough and so they know that my husband and I take medicine for pain for our back......should I tell them what is going on? Thanks in advance. We are always and will always be an open and honest family unit.....I just do not want to scare the kids to death.........
I forgot to mention that today is Doc day for hubby....so please anyone and everyone if u could keep me in your thoughts and or prayers....this is going to be the test of all tests....after today, I will have access to 180 pills minus what spouse takes each day which is 6.......but u get the idea. I do NOT want this life so I am going to stay determined.
Its sounds like you have great kids,and you should be so proud of the job you have done,it also sounds like you have a good plan for taper.AS far as telling my daughter 24 (just graduated with masters)I choose not to discuss she knows about pills but she thought I needed them for pain.I did not tell her I just do not want to fall off that pedestal she has put me on.I know this is not right but I can not be a disappointment to her.She did not see me thru detox we talk on phone alot.I am not saying this is correct but It works in my Sick Cookie Head.
Welcome..U have defintly found the right place...U sound very determined, is your husband as determined as u?
You have to both want to do this....
I think u are strong enough to taper, and should not have alot of trouble..SO glad to hear you don't take more then 6, which is great ...Your w/d's should not be too bad..
but i agree do one at at time..there is a couple here right now doing the same...
good luck to you
we are here for you...
YOU will not lose your kids for quitting, U will lose your kids if this continues...
Thanks...I too am scared of my kids hating me for this, or for just plain old being disappointed in me. I do not want to see the look in their eyes, yet I feel that it may help me if at least the girls knew cuz part of me wants to believe that because I am their mother, they will try to help any way that they can......not sure what to do............
I wish i could give you advice on that one...But i had to come here and get advice for that one..i choose not to tell my kids...because in my case it would of caused more harm to them.....Get other opinons on this one..
If u can quit---then get into a program..
I will tell u w/'ds are not fun, but you can play it off as the flu...STAYING clean is much harder...so u will need aftercare...I see a counsouler, and me and her went round and round to tell my kids, i went against her.....I could not hurt them..
but i may have different reasons then your situation...
Thanks. Hubby and I talk openly and often about quitting. I am not sure if he wants it as bad as me, but I do know that he still takes 6 a day and he has: chest pain, he has lost app. 40 pounds in the past 2 years, he has horrible anxiety, RLS that makes him very irritated at night, not to mention, high blood pressure, and his Father was abusive. He has never been abusive, but he does have a temper. Its not horrible by any means, but I am scared it may become that way with W/D......I am scared he may not quit. Even if that is the case, I will keep helping him until hopefully he does, and I am quitting no matter what. This is about me right now. I will worry about him next. Thanks so much!
I agree with everyone else when I say that you will NOT lose your kids! They sound wonderful, and it's so obvious how much they mean to you. You also "sound" a bit like you feel guilty about all of this. You gotta let that go. It is what it is, past is past. Today is a new day, and you have a new goal. It's not gonna be easy, it's just not, but you CAN do it. I'm glad you're thinking about you right now, because trying to think about getting your husband clean too will overwhelm you. He is a factor here though. Keep in mind that it sounds like he'll still have his pills, that will be a great temptation for you during the w/d especially. There are a lot of great people here with great plans for weaning, and I'd suggest you do that. I'm happy for you that you made the right decision. You sound ready to do this and I wish you the best of luck. It is unfortunate that your husband's problems like the RLS, anxiety, and high BP are also w/d s/s. I think he'd definitely need to go off under a doc's care for his health, as well as to get thruogh the w/d's. ....and hopefully he does want to quit.
I think you are doing the right thing and I think its GREAT! Good luck to you and hubby.
As for the kids, if it was me, I wouldnt burden them with this. Yes, I did say burden. I have been on the other side of addiction (ie with someone who was an alcoholic and drug addict) and I know how it makes you feel guilty and so forth. They might feel if they were better behaved etc, it might not have happened. They didnt cause this and they cannot cure it.
If you MUST tell them, my advice is to wait until after you are off the pills for a while and re think it. Right now you are not thinking at your best. I hate to sound harsh but the truth is, they didnt do it and they do not need to "help in any way". They need to be living their lives safe and secure. You obviously are a very good mother. I know you dont want to do damage to them by putting your responsibilty for taking those pills on them, (in their mind) , OR by having them help with the detox. I know you wouldnt mean to but its alot for a teenager to handle.They are still "young" teenagers, but let me tell you its rough for them out there now just in general.
I wish you well. If I can help please let me know.
Thank you. I do feel guilty for letting this happen to me. I am sure that everyone may say this, but I thought I was "better" than this....not meaning in any way at all to offend anyone! I feel like I have already let my kids down just by taking them for so long and I hate it. I do not want to burden them or make them feel at fault, so I think I will wait until......my thinking is more normal....so to speak. Sorry my terminology may not be the greatest, not sure exactly how to word my thoughts....but it is all in good intentions and with absolutely no meaning to offend anyone. Thanks again.
Its ok Confused. I spoke a bit harshly on purpose to see if it got your attention and it did. Look, if you were NOT a good mom, your kids would not being doing as well as they are. I think once you get off these lortabs (also was my drug of choice and why I am here) you will rethink telling them (or tell them when they are older)
My son was 16 when his dad went off the wagon from cocaine. He had been sober for 15 years. My son was devastated and MAD. It caused many problems that he really should not have been exposed to at that age IMO. Yes, I know coke has a worse "street rep" than say oxy (lortab) BUT they are both drugs that can make you lose your life or wish you had. I'm happy to say my son's father did get clean again, and has been for a year. Can you IMAGINE a mother getting addicted to pain pills after watching her child go through THAT? Well that was me. I had legitimate reason (pain) for the pills, but soon they became a happy "escape". Im sure you know what I mean. At the end (when I found this board) I was doing 10-12 10 mg lortabs a day. Today is my 21st day without them. It's not sunshine and lollipops by any means, but at least I found this board and got clean. You can too if you want to. This board is a great way to get help! Hang in there!
My opinion..no i woulld not tell the kids. I have had this same converstion w/ my therapist and my boys are 9 +13 1/2 and she said don't tell them (no one even knew i was taking the pills).
Also..I tapered with 15 pills over 10 days...7.5 vics....
YOU CAN DO THIS>>>>
Every woman that's a mother feels guilty period!! Isn't this true? So I understand what you're going through on top of that. Everyone also thinks that they'll be either smart enough, or strong enough to handle most situations in life, but some things just sneak up on us. Addiction can happen to anyone. I have been sick and immobile for four years. I just about killed myself (for real) over the guilt of not being able to be me for them, now I'm going through w/d and putting them through this. I gotta say, I raised myself some really decent, compassionate kids, because although I'm sure they wish things were different, they're here for me. I SO look forward to them coming home from school. We play on the PS together and laugh and talk, it helps get me through the w/d during the day. Hubby too. I just don't get to see him until later. Instead of looking at what you think you've done to them, try to turn that around by knowing that their experiences help shape them, and if you're a good mom, and you sure as hell sound like one, they'll be the better for it. My kids learned compassion and empathy. I'm not suggesting this has been a great thing, but positive things came out of it. While I didn't become addicted, I did develop a dependance/tolerance, and my kids saw me go through the illness and now the w/d. I don't think they'll ever (and they wouldn't have before this either) use drugs....and on the strong enough note, several years ago, I was involved in an el derailment. It was the most violent thing one could ever go through. I was so shaken (and injured) by this, that after shock wore off the first day, I woke up crying the next. I went into severe post-traumatic stress. During the actual accident, I can remember actually thinking, as the train was breaking apart and I was being thrown around, that there was nothing I could do to stop this and how could that be? I thought that I may die here, in this crappy place (alone with so many other people) and I can't do anything about this. Whatever's gonna happen to me is gonna happen. This realization really freaked me out. I became scared of everything for a long time. I just couldn't get over that this happened to me, and that I had absolutely not an ounce of control over it. I am happy to say that I'm not traumatized anymore, no more pts disorder.
Thanks. I DO want to get and STAY clean more than anything. I think thay this ranks up with how much I wanted to be a "perfect" Mom when I found out I was pregnant at 16.....I was very mature for my age, but I wanted it so bad to prove ppl wrong and let them know that I could do it despite all their ignorant comments to me. Right now, this is my one and only goal in life other than taking care of my kids of course. My real mom gave me to her sister when I was 1 because of her "street" drug addictions and so I was also very shocked to know how it made me feel and to think I became an addict myself.
As long as you have a legit script for them you cannot get into trouble and they CANNOT take your kids. You have grown dependant upon them, this happens to soooo many. You are not alone. But I can tell you this, for your sake, your husbands and your childrens, please find a way to quit, before things get worse...you can do it, I know if i can anyone can. Good luck to you and please stay with us. We are here for you...
Thank you. I KNOW that I can do it. I have no doubt in my mind although I am not going into this blind or lightly by any means. I am trying like h*** to stay positive because I am a true believer that your mood has a HUGE impact on your body, and by remaining positive, I have high hopes that it will help me physically. Thanks and I am not going anywhere except on the road to recovery! Thanks.
Wow pregnant at 16 and doing such a great job as a mom please be so proud,try to throw those guilts away it comes with being a mom using or not.Your mind can be harsh but change the chanel and think about what a good thing your going to be doing getting the pills out of your lives.I have really had the guilts and some really stupid.Yesterday was guilty over daughters bangs in 2nd grade picture(she is 24 now)what the heck?I also beleive in positive thinking ,that the thoughts we put out can control the outcome.Thats what Oprah said last week HA HA Proud of you for being here
Hi....Congrats to you for realizing you have a problem & for reaching out for help. The people on this forum are great & you do have a few different options for getting off of the pain-killers as people have already told you. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned a medication used for detox off of opiates called suboxone. It can be used for short-term detox or for maintenance to keep you of of them. I am currently using it as a maintenance med. as I work way too closely with opiates to take the chance & relapse at this time in my life. If you want to know more about my personal experience, write me or you can look up suboxone on the internet & get more info about finding a doctor etc. Good luck to you & your husband...I applaud you both for being good parents & doing this for yourselves as well as your kids.
YES, realizing you have a problem is the first step!! I also became a mother at the age of 17, and it is hard having to grow up so fast (pressure). It is hard having this bad habit while trying to raise your family, so I think this forum will help you like it has me. Keep posting and asking questions because there are a lot of people that care listening. Good luck with your struggle and I know you can beat this!!!
Love, Angel 929
Hi again...as far as telling the kids, I have a 16 year old son. I have been in recovery @ this point for 2 1/2 months. My partner does no think I should tell him about my addiction, but I have every intention of telling him very soon. I feel that there is a genetic component to this whole addiction thing, it has been prooven in fact. I have waited because I wanted to 1st be stronger & healthier & to also be sure I wasn't just doing it to absolve myself of guilt & to look for forgiveness from him. I don't want to do it to make myself feel better, I want to do it to empower him to protect himself from following in his mothers footsteps. He already shares way to many characteristics with me & my troubled brothers. So my advise is tell them, but wait for when you are stronger & more mentally prepared...my guess is that they already know more theen you think...I know my son does.
To sickcookie: Thanks I needed that laugh! (about the bangs)....wierd how our minds work......especially once they are contaminated with drugs. I appreciate the support.
To all: Thank you all for your support and kind words. I am still hanging in there. I just got back from taking hubby to Doc.....now I have pills, but I have not taken any of them...I took my 1 shortly after I woke up (actually 2 hrs. after)....and none since....and now I think that when I do want one or think I really need one for wd (since I am tapering)...I have decided to break them in half instead of taking a full one and see how that works for me. I know this is only day 2 for me, but since I think I did really well yesterday, I am just going to keep pushing myself as much as possible. I have given myself a 2 week time frame and I plan to stick to it and hopefully even be done before that! Thanks for all your support! It is helping me soooooooo much!
I forgot to mention that on the way to and from the Dr. I had a long talk with my husband again about his seriousness to quit. He said he is dead serious and agrees that especially for him, tapering would be best. We bought a notebook with 2 sections in it, 1 for me and 1 for him. In it, we are writing down the exact time and date that we take a pill and the amount (ex. full 10/500 or half).....I am hoping this will also keep us on our toes about how often we take them. I am even thinking of adding what we were doing when the need to take one arises just to look as a reference to see if it is boredom, stress, actual pain, etc.........Thanks again to everyone.
okay....i'm in..I have never spoken to anyone about this ever.
I'm new at this, been an addict (just realizing or just now admitting) for many years. Been on that fence a long time of quiting. Sounds like most know what I'm talking about. I have been reading and analyzing all the posts. I have many excuses. All 'worthy' of p.m.s. (poor me syndrome) for staying on the pills, but really, I'm only doing harm to myself. So it is with this post that I will decide to get off the fence and try one step. Cannot, will not, tell anyone around me. I know how I judge, I know what comes with suspicion, it never goes away. I will look to you for help and advice. I have to say, as a mom myself, I would not tell my childeren until they were adults and can maybe grasp the magnatude of addiction. It is hard enough to be a teenager in this day and age just to get up in the morning. I just don't think they have the cognative skills to understand what it means. I think they see it but aren't emotionally mature to understand it. Although, some can and some kids can't. Some can drive fine and some can't. Kind of like that. If the kids are doing fine in school, why sit back and watch those grades spiral because they're confussed and upset by our problem. We are not their friend, we are their parent. Right? Just a thought. Prattling on.
I hope to make it like the rest. Thanks for being here. Glad to have something else to think about rather than those pills.
I am extremely happy that you read this and decided to write on here. It was difficult for me to post this post, but now I feel there was a reason for it! Maybe it was fate......Anyway, congrats, and I agree for now at least about not telling the kids. I am not sure that I will be much help to you since this is only day 2 for me, but since we are both in the beginning of a long road, I will help any way that I can....even if it is just to talk you through a craving. I am here now pretty much constantly, so let me know if u want to chat or anything at all......Thank you and congrats for posting!!!!!!! You made a HUGE step! Good luck to us both!
I live in BFE...LOL....anyway, I just came from the Dr. for my hubby and it is a 40 minute drive, and my Mom just called and I have to go back and meet her where I just came from!!! Now, I am just grouchy about it. I live in MI and its freezin' and I don't want to leave again, and now I am going to want a pill.....this sucks!
This is that dredded trigger:
Like that? I just learned it this weekend. Of course I know that word. I'll bet the ol' timers on here are rolling their eyes..but like I said...I'm new. Starting to pay attention to what my personnal triggers are! RESENTMENT is my main huge big one. Why can't we tell our mom no. ? Why? I would rather take that pill then tell her no. I feel you. All I can say is don't do it. Easier said than done.. Let me know what you decide. Either way. Just know I understand. I do understand....
That's the depressing part...you take that pill...then what? One more, one more onemoreonemore....and nothings changed except your poor body is hooked again and the problem is still there.
This is why we need each other....I feel better all ready. Yep. Feeling better without a pill, who knew?!!!!
Sorry, I sent that way to soon! With no explanation of what happened while I was gone and all that. I will tell you what happened, but 1st:
IBKLEEN.....I wanted to do the schedule, but yet I just want to see if I can do it faster. I guess I am hard headed and once I set my mind to something!!! You know! I wanted to know if I can live without so many per day. I greatly appreciate the schedule and if this does not work, I am trying that next! Thank you!!!! Greatly appreciate it!
OK....so I was walking out the front door and I promised myself that I was NOT going to take a pill until I got back home. So all was fine, until I freakin' ran out of gas. I live in Michigan and it is 9 degrees outside and with wind chill...its -4.......so I sat in my car being angry and trying to convince myself that I didn't need a pill. After 20 minutes, my phone rang and it was my Mom wondering if I was coming. I told her that I called her but couldn't get through her phone and was stranded. She said she was on her way. Then I felt better because I knew I wasn't going to have to walk......she showed up AND had no gas with her. She actually drove to me to tell me that she was going to get gas (which by the way, she had passed 3 stations on her way to me)........GRRRRRR......I was mad again!!! So, I stayed in my car waiting while she went to the gas station, and talked to myself some more about y I did not need a pill. She came back, I helped her as needed, and then was on my way back home. Now my legs and arms feel funky....tingly, annoying, kinda numb-like, jittery, and are driving me crazy, so I crank up my stereo (thankfully I have a kickin' stereo in my car) and jam to the tunes! So, who has faith that I did not take a pill? Well.............I did NOT take a pill, and once I got home, I decided to take a shower instead of taking one just yet to push myself that tiny bit farther. I still have not taken one, but am just about to. I am happy that I made it through the crappy trip to town and back. Once I do take it, it will be my 2nd one today........thanks for the replies!
Tapering never worked for me. My life revolved around when it was time for me to take the next pill or if I happened to take one sooner than I was supposed to it revolved around when I would not take another so I could make up for taking the one I wasn't supposed to take.
I would just stop if I were you. A week from now when you're posting about your taper schedule an dhow hard it is to not take that one extra you could be posting about how it feels to have 5 days clean.
It will be like a bad flu. I chose the suboxone route. I am doing a 10 day detox. I have a job I cannot miss out on and a 2 year old I cannot miss out on with virtually no help from anyone, including my husband, so Sub was the only route for me.
Getting clean is not going to be your issue an it's not going to be your husband's issue, it's what you do AFTER you get clean that's going to be the real struggle. How are you planning on not going back to the pills especially when they are so readily available for both of you?
I agree with a lot of what you said but the main thing I agree with is that you have to concentrate on you. He is a grown man and can and will do what he wants to. Your only responsibility is to yourself AND your kids. Hopefully even if you quit before him and stay clean the power of example will work its magic.
PS, I wouldn't tell the kids but I would watch them closely for signs of any addiction as they get older since there is a huge genetic disposition as you well know.
Glad your still here,I think we should have mentioned if possible clear your schedule,serve frozen food or something the kids can cook.I could not even take stress of the phone,I just hid out.Your husband can tell the world you have the flu .If you can avoid any stress it helps thru the first week.Not everyone has this luxury but if possible try.Also do you know about thomas recipe you will need provisions.I took alot of advil and advil pms at night.Herbal tea is soothing Take lots of hot baths when you stress or ache.I also used as excuse to eat icecream and do not forget imodium another charming symptom for some and lets not forget the sneezing.Hang in
My name is Mike. I too live in Michigan and just LOVE this weather...lol. Anyway, I read your posts and I was wondering; have you ever thought about using Suboxone? I started Suboxone last MOnday (7 days ago) and I feel wonderful. Since starting it, I have had no withdrawal symptoms. Very few urges to take Vics (yet not strong enough to actually make me do it) and I am able to work, be a better father, husband, friend and I am workingon developing more positive, healthier habits to replace my need to take pills. I am also working on my triggers to avoid them in the future. I am doing just great and its because of hte Suboxone. It really works. Anyway, if you are thinking of quitting which it sounds like you are, I would encourage you to try it. It allows you to establish a healthier lifestyle through repitition so when you want to stop takingSubxone, you have an entirely different routine that does not involve taking drugs. You mentioned that ou do not want your childrent o know...I understand that because I do not want my kids to know either, at least not until they are a little older. Anyway, using the Suboxone, they will never even realize a change. Well, they may say that you are nicer and not as edgy though. I have heard that from some friends and family. Point is, I changed a bit and did not even realize it. You may have as well and not realized it. My family just adjusted to my mood swings. Anyway, Let me know if I can help answer any questions.
Good Luck Confused.
Thanks and I read about it and didn't want to use another pill or med. to fix this one........still thinking about it. Thanks for your post. Greatly appreciate it. P.S. I can tell my moods are crappy and ppl are not afraid to tell me it either. I want to be me again.....the real me.
Are you confused about getting off pills or feeling confused affect of withdraw? the first couple of days it took everything in me just to be ,forget about funtioning for a while its okay.Superwoman can have a few days off.,
Can I ask a question? Why not use a pill to stop taking pills?
Suboxone was created just for what you want to do. Its under a doctors care. And think of it this way, Ifyou are worried about the effects and how that might fall into your daily interactive part of your life iwth your kids, extended family, etc... then a possible solution might be Suboxone. If yoiu fail C/T, will your kids find out what you are trying to keep a secret? Not trying to tlak you into anything Confused, just hope to keep the door open on a possible solution until you are able to decide your course of action. I wish you the best of luck. Keep posting so we can keep up to date.
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