Scared to death of tomorrow

[lexi2012]

Hi all , I'm writing in hopes of some words of wisdom or support and hopefully once I get to a good place I can offer some to others.  I'm going to my doctors tomorrow, I have once again run out of pills over a week early and I've had it. I've been doing a slow taper FOREVER because really I just didn't want to stop. Now I just can't take it. I need to be done.....but I'm so scared. I have been through it once before so I know that it's very hard and I'm scared.

I know that I also need to have things into place for after the physical wd's are done. I'm going to be seeing a psychologist and going to NA as often as I can.

There must be others out there like me who have to live with chronic pain but not use narcotics to cope? do you use anything at all?  

My mom is supportive and will come for a couple days and help with my child. I awoke this morning terrified. I had tried to taper down and I guess this morning that taper hit and I was barely able to move my back. It scared me. Of course when the pill kicked in I was able to move. I don't want to live like this.

I hate counting pills I hate thinking oh crap there could be a storm do I have enough pills. I count and I count. I think I can handle it but then go over.

I'm on a dose of about 180 grams of oxycodone per day give or take a bit. Can I just stop them?

Please help and any of your experiences.

thank you so much!

[atthebeach]

You are right about the Kratom.

[dimethyltryptamine]

Correct me if im wrong.. kratom IS an opiate in some form or another. It helps because it binds to the receptors similar to how vicodin does. It will help but also prolong the agony.

[dimethyltryptamine]

Thousands of years of recorded use not one single death- pot. Very high grade/potency medical marijuana. Hopefully you live in a state that issues.

[OpenMind24hours]

R Pain: I wish there was a magic non-opiate pill for me that will take away my pain. The disaster caused me by opiates almost ruined life as I knew it. But there isn't a magic pill. Us humans must have have dealt with pain over the eons of time somehow. "Keep moving" if they possibly could might have been what they did. With my experience; I had bad sciatica from a herniated disk, I still have 4 bulging disks along with a major problem with my S1/pelvis alignment slipping out of place constantly. My Doctor loaded me with opiate pain killers and sent me to various specialists. Opiates didn't even touch the sciatica. I'm an addict/alcoholic. All they did was to cause me to go out and use 3 different times.  An ESI at a pain clinic put the nerve to sleep and allowed the hernia to slowly dissolve. I went through physical therapy 3 times in 3 years. The PT specialists also got me going with walking. Now, 4 years later, I've kept moving on my feet every day. I thank God, and the two dogs he blessed me with that demand walks every day,  I can walk briskly. I also do my PT exercises every morning. I cannot use NSAIDS at all. I'm on blood thinners from a TIA. I'm now clean 48 days from my 3rd withdrawal from opiates. The WD exposed the pains I'll need to live with. When I move around it's tolerable, at night I use fast acting Tylenol, which helps me to sleep. My opiate addiction used to wake me up early every morning for "more", just to feel "normal". That has gone away!!

That's my story. Your story is completely different no doubt. Everyone's back problems are different; with big bulges sticking in nerves, and muscles pulling tendons here and there.  But, using proper medical attention (including MD help from getting off opiates), I hope you can find your way to move around every day, starting slowly after WD and building into a routine, it will help. I wish you luck.    

[marycarmel]

I have pretty bad chronic pain but I become dependent versus addicted.  I hate it when I have to go back on something (like now.)  I was on high doses of a lot of drugs and did a taper but at times went too fast.  The slower the better, if you can do it.  I would avoid the Kratom and use Imodium, lots of fluids, vitamins and melatonin/Alteril for sleep.

[rachelsarahkay417]

im also addicted to oxycodone.. this is my third day clean & i feel good.. i got a natural painkiller at a smoke shop called KRATOM i swear if u ask the manager ther tell them you plan on detoxing & how much u need to take.. its pill form but also you can make a tea & it helps alot.. id say 80% of the withdraw.. im only taking it for a week tho..

but a rehab if you feel you need more help call around.... thers many places & dont be affriad. i feel the 100% same way..you CAN NOT die from a oxycodone withdraw okay?:] that made me feel better when i was getting off.. but i swear TRY THE KRATOM .. at any smoke shop.... im taking 10 pills as a dose twice a day & dont have a craving.. & its only my 3rd day.......

GOOD LUCK & im here to talk if youd like :]