Sound advice?

[shortie_man]

I have been reading posts for hours. There seems to be so much conflicting advice. And it covers everything from one end of the scale to the other. I am going to post anyway and see where this goes. I was an IV coke user for several years. It drove my life into the depths of hell and depravity. I ended up having to move 1500 miles away into a homeless shelter and start my life over to get and stay clean. Fast forward 10 years. I am now married, own a successful business and enjoy life.......until.......a back injury followed by pain pills. Fast forward another 2 years.....my business is falling apart, my marriage is on the rocks and I am broke from buying pain pills from anywhere and at any price. I get a script from my doctor of 90 5/325 mg Hydros every 2 weeks and still spend 250 a week buying pills. Now the money is all but dried up and before long the doctor will stop writing scripts.  I HAVE TO QUIT. I want my life back, my marriage to be what it was...happy and healthy....I tried a couple of times to go cold turkey. Vomiting, diarrhea, head aches could only get off the couch to make it to the bathroom. I lie to my wife and pawn my property to keep buying pills to avoid the sickness, feed the addiction and keep working to make more money to buy pills...........Do I move again and start over or just put a round in the chamber this time?

[atthebeach]

We can be our own worst enemy. That voice in our head keeps on telling us
You tried before you can't do it. You won't succeed.
We have to talk back and say as long as I have breathe there is hope.
Yes Hun keep on fightin the good fight.
Keep your eye on the prize. Get some support, counseling, substance abuse
Support groups, church.
Your wife needs to go to al-anon. She needs to learn how not to enable.

Start exercising, clean eating, proteins, veggies, take vitamins.
Don't fear the withdrawals. You have to go through to get to the other side.
The light will get brighter and brighter.
Time will be your healer. Be patient with the process.
Keep the faith,
Debbie

[dominosarah]

You are worth my time and everyone else's time and in time you will see for yourself that YOU are worth it~

That was alot of "times" in that sentence!!

[shortie_man]

Miss Sarah,
Thanks for making the most important point of all. Wherever I go I take me along. I am going to make this the place where I make my stand. I am going to fight the good fight. I am going to deal with my issues. Thank you, so much, for making the time to respond to my post. Thank you for finding me worth your time.

[shortie_man]

Thank you for your comment and words of advice and encouragement. All the responses have given me that courage to jump into this with both feet and be successful. My wife reminds me constantly how successful I am at whatever I do. Let me add kicking this habit and then maintaining my sobriety to the list.
Thank you for finding me worth your time to reach out to me.

[shortie_man]

Debbie

OMG....The tears just won't stop coming. Yours was the third response I have read. Honestly, I was scared there wouldn't be any it would confirm that I am all alone. I am sad that I am not. That means that there are others like me struggling. Hurting. fighting. Your words were very uplifting and encouraging. The right words at the right time. Every year I used to take my wife to Hawaii and we would lay on the beach for hours and listen to the waves lap the shore. How fitting that "at the beach" would come to my rescue when I needed it most. Thank you. I will continue to post and hopefully return the help when I am most able to give it.

[shortie_man]

Are you kidding me? That post was sssooo much help. Just the fact that you commented makes a difference. I am not alone and someone does care. Please, never think you don't make a difference because every post does matter. For that I thank you.