Cant get away from the pills

[Blackwolfsgirl]

I am doing my best to stay clean. My biggest problem is temptation because oxy's and vic's are all around me,and I think this is a major factor in me relapsing multiple times since I first tried in May 2011. Once a month my dad gets 250 10/325 Norco's, and my mom can get Oxycodone whenever she wants. I live with mydad as his caregiver, and am also at my mom's house many times a week. They are so easily available. I know my dad is addicted to them; he will even admit it, but says he is 65 and doesn't want to get help. My mom on the other hand has stage 4 lung cancer and we have to make her take her pain meds. I don't know what to do because on one hand I want to be free from the addiction on the other hand, I have to care for my parents because we can not afford a caregiver. Any suggestions? Maybe if I ask my boyfriend to get my dads meds for him. I go into his bathroom multiple times a day to grab soma, valium, and vicodin and it is so tempting and easy to take an extra amount and put them in my pocket. I am between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Thanks for listening and any suggestions or encouragement are appreciated. This is easpecially hard right now as I relapses and am only on day 2 of wd's.

[kyle505]

Man, I don't envy your situation. I can sit here comfortably at my computer and tell you things like just don't use, be strong, have your boyfriend handle your dad's pills, hide them, etc., but you already know all that. I'm in day 41 of being clean, and I too would have been very tempted if I was in your situation, except that 41 days ago I went through the worst cold turkey detox - it was hell on earth for four horrible days. So that's what stops me from using again. You have to decide that enough is enough. And you will eventually get to that point. Is that now? Only you can answer the question. You'll always be tempted; there will always be a way to get meds. In the end you have to be responsible for how you deal with the temptation. Keep posting; we're here for you.

[zoea]

Hiya. Im just trying to fastforward each time i want to use. To try and remember the day after quiting. I know its so hard but focus on being strong.
Give yourself a pinch evertime u see the.pills.
Im only joking. Try your best.

U can do it.
Zoe x

[Blackwolfsgirl]

I have no where else to go, and even if I wanted to and did I could be put in jail for elderly neglect. I am my fathers legal caregiver paid by the VA. I would NEVER place my parents into a nursing home because of the neglect they are known for. Thank you bama for the encouragement. I am defenitly using deep breaths as a relaxor. I live by the gulf and spend almost an hour each evening watching the water, dolphins, sunset, and just relaxing.

[ImDONENoMore]

Her parents should be put into a rest home because of her addiction?  You're kidding right???????

[lal757]

     Do you have anybody else to stay with a cousin or friend that dont use because if you dont find some where else to go you will be tempted and will give in with the drugs so close this is your life your talking about go to the dr or er tell them you need help maybe you can get in a treatment program.   Maybe its time to put them in a rest home.    

[bama88]

oh dear...what a delimia..i have been there too!! i know how hard it is to be in the thick of withdralws and see someones pills!! huge anxiety attack. BIG DEEP BREATHES!!! remind yoursel how would you feel if someone stole from you? i have stole/snuck pills before. once my mother in law had some and i took them. talk about feeling like a looser that day.

youve got to change your focus. youve got to change your focus. you dont want this on your consious. no way. your better than this. your bigger than this...i know exactly where you are. oh yes i do. i was a caretaker for a women who was dieing and took her pills sometimes...and when she passed...i was so guilt ladden...pleaze please please dont take them....just sit on your hands...thats what i do. if i see pills i sit on my hands
it represents hands off!! you can do this!! its the addiction talking...dont do it. get thru to day three. ok? and post until your fingers hurt