what is wrong with me

[trinity555]

Hello, In short I was on subs for 4 years, kicked in 2008(using a quater of 8mg pill). Best couple months in the past 10 years. Long story short, I feel in with a bad crowd got readdicted to heroin, then went back on the subs for 9 months. I'm 6 weeks off, but I haven't been an angel. Off and on I have taken Xanax, Oxy about a week ago. This came after I had a seizure, and I sometimes take 10mg of percs, no more than 3 days in a row.They make me feel stupid. I'm not trying to get messed up, I'm trying to function and not get readdicted to anything. I'm trying to look for the chemical in subs that inhibits the desire to use. I know myself well enough that if I calm my mind down, I can deal with the menial withdrawl I still feel. My mind this time is really doing a number on me.

Any comments would be appreciated, and I wish nothing but the best for all of you!

[gnarly_1]

HI welcom to the forum ...so you been off the sub for 6 weeks and your struggling mentally...that's pritty common with drugs like sub and methadone...I kicked methadone 120days ago tomorrow but the mental"" mind screw "" part last for a wile ...it just takes time to get past it....each week you go it will get better but it wasn't till I had 90 days in that things really started to improve a lot ...time heals and there are no short cuts
you need to stop using if your going to get better though...each time you flood your brain with the endorphins from the narcotics you set yourself back so try and stay clean
good luck and God bless....Gnarly

[Nuts1982]

Hey there! I found if I just didn't take anything "addicting" for awhile, my body and mind started to heal (i.e. I took Advil for the headaches, etc.).  Yes, I felt terrible for about 2 weeks (worst was day 3 - 6), but I tried to keep busy by watching movies, talking to my clean friends on the phone, listening to upbeat music, etc.  You can push through this.  Take care of yourself - both physically and mentally.  You are stronger than you think and you can do this!!  Keep me posted on how you're doing.

Take care
~ N

[Circles]

I am doing the exact same thing right now if that is any consolation, I can do the it is a withdrawel and that is all it is.  But I just know I will be doing this again.  Surgery on Thursday all over again.  Gosh it makes me wonder if this is truly worth the misery.  Once I an detoxed they put me back on it or "Up" the med.  I have never liked "Meds" and they still treat me as if I hunger for the dang things.  Keep going.  I am having a heck of a time this time also.  Mind over body.  I keep saying I am not crazy.! : )  It gets to the next 5 minutes.  Truth in the statement moving seems to help.  I have a heavy pillow for the RLS at night.  That keeps the presure on the legs and feet.  In case you have a hard time with it.  Stick it out!  I wish I could.   But maybe in 5 months I can do this again.  What a circle.