Struggling pastor desperately needs healing

[carson]

Please help someone. I know a man of the cloth, widely known for his music sung throughout the country and relief work around the world.Wondering if there is hope and happiness and freedom out there ( and soon ). He has been through operations and is now in year 5 of addiction to Vic 10. He wants his life back from years of depression and guilt and yet is in a very high profile position. Hates what he has become and knows the pain and scars of a secret life. Could someone help with how to get through this and preserve a marraige ( almost 20 years) and a family. Any ideas would be appreciated.

[puma]

Lisabet,

Thank you, I was hoping to see you post today. Thank you for the prayers as they are always needed. I am praying for you as well. Take care and God Bless.

Chatahan

[lisabet]

Hey you - just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sending lots of prayers and good thoughts your way!!! Take care, Lisabet

[puma]

Sundown,

Thank you for your kind words. Your posts are always very educational and inspirational as well. I appreciate your kindness to everyone here, as we all need the support. Take care and God Bless.

Chatahan...........wildcat

[Sundown]

Good luck starting day 1. The klonapin should help, and it is an excellent anti-seizure medication. It should also give you pretty good relief from the shakes. Tou'll need to work with your doc to see how much you'll need to keep you comfortable as everyone is different.
I'll be praying for you.

Sundown

[puma]

Carson,

It's 3:30 am here and I could not help the storm chaser joke.
What one would hope to find is a nice tight little eye with a great eyewall around it!!!!LOL I sure need one!

I am not making light of your situation, but I could not help my obsession with storms.

I hope things are getting better for you. I am starting on day-1 again of alcohol withdrawal, YUK! I have been through it many times. I hope I caught the relapse early enough this time so as not to have seizures on days 4 and 5 like usual. Since I am on Klonopin I shouldn't have the seizures since it is an anti-convulsant as well as a Benzo which is used for alcohol withdrawal. I have not seized in two months so I'll think I'll just have a few days of sleepless sweaty nights and one day of hard shakes. I woke up at 2:00 am with the shakes already starting so I finished the last of my Vodka only about 2 oz. It stopped the shakes but they'll be back soon.

I will be praying that your emptiness you mentioned will be filled once you're detoxed and can concentrate more on the Lord. I find when I am not sober, I cannot focus on God as much and feel that emptiness you refer to. This forum has helped a great deal in seeing that we are not alone in our sufferings and there is alot of support and inspiration to help. Good luck and God Bless.

Chatahan...........wildcat

[carson]

Threads of life's adversity are woven in a Tapestry, in a fabric to remind me of His mercy.
Spinning through the course of time storms blow in without a sign. Behind the ominous disguise, what will I find?
Well I'm vaguely seeing silver linings while learning of His perfect timing, in everything. It's comforting.
So maybe the rain is good. Thanks to all.

[Starraven]

Didn't I say we have a great group of people here that are in all stages of recovery!  You are a stranger but we all care about you  because we know the torment you are going through.  I'm so glad we didn't lose you.  You will get more here than you will get anywhere. (IMHO) How do you think I am over a month clean now.  Not from sheer willpower alone!  ALOT of reading and alot of support and faith in God as well.  Talking to others like yourself and admitting that you are dependent is the first step.  When you choose to quit is entirely up to you.  (but I suggest a taper rather than foolish cold turkey like i did..Yuck)  You said Christmas might be a good time..How about the new year?  a fresh start!  

Well, I'm here for you as we all are.  I have posted my email incase you ever need it or just want to talk, but incase you missed it, ***@****.  Anytime, anyday.

LOve to all,
Suze

[groovygirl]

Yeah, that book is filled with other things like that...things that make you really think.

I sent you an email.

[leighbee]

Carson-

I am glad to see you are still around. On Day Nine, and still kicking. It seems that I have good days and bad days at this point and it has become extremely difficult for me to deal with this roller coaster. I just have to keep reminding myself that as long as I don't take pills then I have done okay that day.  The temptation is so great, though.  I have been in constant prayer- Thanking God for getting me this far and praying for the strength to continue on this path.
The process that brought me thus far was somewhat unconventional, but it somehow worked (to this point, anyway).  When I first suspected what was going on (I was so ignorant I didn't even realize I was having withdrawal symptoms from the drugs for awhile), I made an appt with a counselor in my area (experienced with addictions, Chaplaincy degree, finished Duke).  He was the first one I told- he was very non-threatening and provided me a SAFE place to be honest.  I really think that is the first step... Revealing this horrible secret we have to another human being.  It then became easier to tell others who could help me (I found out I didn't have to do it alone).  Had the counselor not been understanding and non-judgemental, then I don't know if I would have continued to tell my secret, though.  Thinking back on it, I think that God strategically placed certain people in my life at specific times to help me.  I had to reach out first (I felt like I was reaching out for help with one hand and reaching for the pill bottle with the other).
Sorry my posts are so long.
Please, don't be shamed into keeping your secret (that is not of God).
The truth will set you free...
leighbee

[Sundown]

I have to agree with Chatahan as clonidine will not prevent withdrawl seizures, Body, I know you mentioned tegretol as a possible anticonvulsant to use, but there really isn't much medical literature to support it. Typically, phenobarb is the accepted anticonvulsants for that, but even it is not always effective. Thats why the standard withdrrawl therapy in cases of benzo abuse with drugs like xanax which have very short half lives is to substitute a longer acting benzo like klonapin or valium and wean from there. If the benzo being abused is already a long half life drug, you would continue it and SLOWLY taper.

Benzo withdrawl is not to be taken lightly. You can't do CT and just tough it out for a week. You really need to work with a doc who knows what their doing, and be prepared for a long, bumpy road.

Sundown

[puma]

(Swampmonster),

I have always agreed with (Bodymechanic) until this last post. Clonidine will help with withdrawal from opiates, but not from Xanax.

You need another Benzo. Ativan, Valium or Klonopin are the main choices but you have to go through a medical setting as seizures and Delirium Tremens are a serious possibility and can kill you. You can try a slow taper of Xanax, but talk to an addiction Doc who knows how to taper safely if you cannot use the hospital or detox center. It could mean life or death for you.

Clonidine is a blood pressure med, surely that will help as your blood pressure will go through the roof!!!!! But it will not get rid of the other side effects. Plug (Benzodiazapine withdrawal syndrome) into your search engine and it will give you alot of what to expect and do. I almost died from Klonopin withdrawal and (DT'S) so I am speaking from experience. Please take care and I will be praying for you. God Bless. Keep us informed as we would like to help see you through it.

Chatahan.........wildcat

[carson]

Sorry so long. Hey folks, I have to say, I am blown away at the compassion on this board. It

[Bodymechanic]

You are on a high dose xanax if you are taking 6-8 bars a day. The best way is to consult a doctor but, here are the important points. First there is a risk of seizure.  The medications to prevent seizures are clonidine and tegretol. If you use these medications you can go cold turkey but it will be absolute hell. The other way is with a slow detox.  At that high a dose it will take a year or more.

You can do this on your own but most people would recommend seeing a doctor. I tend to agree with them. I detoxed off of 8 mg a day 10 years ago.  I used tegretol and took 3 months to finish. I wish I had done it slower because to say it sucked would be an understatement. If you are using 6-8 bars a day then you are taking double that dose. Still the most important ingredient to success is desire.

Peace

[Witchywoman]

Mariposa, I loved that quote. I've met Amber K several times over the years. The first time I met her, I was 19, and at my first Pagan festival. She did a workshop on runes and I was awestruck by her. Since that time (21 years ago...Goddess I feel old!) I've run into her at various national Pagan events and have found her to always be very approachable, and just a really nice person. Even though she's famous she doesn't act superior, you know? She's a really good teacher too. She is relaxed, has a great sense of humor, and has a very unique perspective on the world. Come visit in February!!! She'll be out here teaching a workshop for a national gathering that happens in this area every year called Pantheacon.

If you like her writing, you might also like "the Spiral Dance" by Starhawk.  It was the first book on Wicca I ever read, and felt like I had 'come home'. She recently revised and updated it.

Also, check out a new book called "Modern Pagans".  It was published a few months ago by Research Press. It is a compilation of interviews with several modern day Pagans who are in some way making a contribution to the world of Paganism. Amazon.com has it.  And um, well...er....I'm in it. My hubbie and I were interviewed for it together, as we do a lot of work as a team. We are currently working on our book.

Email me if you want to talk more about this stuff, since I could easily go way off topic and don't want to sound like I'm preaching or anything. I respect all people's beliefs.

love,
WW

[swampmonster]

after about 2 years of vics and lortabs i consulted a doctor who helped me wean off with Panlor and Promacet combined with L-Phenalanine, L-Methionine, B-Complex, Mega-Mineral Complex, Glutamine(it took days to stomach the Glutamine), and an Amino-Acid Complex.  the supplements were available at GNC.  i worked my way down but it took me about a month.  i have panic disorder and colitis and i started taking Xanax and Soma(how stupid could i be?).  what do i do to detox off of these?  i take about 6-8 X-bars a day.  i heard that detoxing off of them CAN kill you.  can i work my way down off of these.  i can't go back to the doctor and i can't ruin my family's insurance program(detox center is not an option for me).  CAN YOU WEAN DOWN THE DOSAGE OF XANAX AND NOT DIE?  somebody please help me.

swampmonster
ps.  i've created a new hell for myself and i want to kick this ****---all of it.

[groovygirl]

Amber K. is the author.  It's called "True Magick" - it's kind of a beginner's guide to Wicca and the different variations/paths one can study.

[GOD]

Yes that IS COOL... Who is the Author? That sounds like something I'd like. It reminds me of the "String theory" in quantom mechanics!

Take care, butterfly.
~~~~Jess~~~~

[groovygirl]

Isn't this cool?  

"Imagine you are drifting in the velvet blackness of deep space.  Stretching out before you and receding behind you into infinite distance are myriads of parellel silver threads.  Crossing them to right and left are endless banks and layers of more silver threads, touching each other as they cross.  Reaching up and down as far as you can see and criss-crossing are countless more curtains of threads, so that the entire Universe is filled with silver fabric or webbing in multiple dimensions.  At each of the infinite number of points where the threads touch, a little clear, crystal sphere is attached.  The spheres are glowing, and their combined light illuminates the cosmos.  The polished surface of each sphere reflects every other sphere within it; it reflects the entire pattern of the Web.  Each reflects all that is reflected from every sphere; reflections reflected in reflections, images of images of images, all linked and sharing their light in limitless brilliance."  It's called Indra's Web and it's from a book called "True Magick" that I just read.

[GOD]

I like your quotes today, Suzanne! ;-)

Everyone: Keep that angel on your shoulder~!

~~~~Jess~~~~

[suzieneedshelp]

"WE shape clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want."
author unknown.
Suzie

[suzieneedshelp]

saying: "If you do not get it from yourself, then where will you go to get it?"
author unknown
Suzie

[Starraven]

Come out, Come out wherever you are.  Or email me.  ***@****, or write all of us.  There is a story that I would like to tell you about faith, but I'm not sure everyone here would like to hear it as it is about my prayer to God, that he answered when I WAS at my worst, and its a long story and I don't want to turn this into a Starraven day. LOL
Hugs to all, Congrats to Jesse!!
Love,
Suze

[suzieneedshelp]

Carson, Many have commented to you and I'm looking for your responses...I want to hear from you...Keep postin!
Take care man!
Suzie

[Bodymechanic]

If I understand your post correctly, you are asking for help getting someone else off drugs.  This is the type of help that neither you nor I nor anyone else can give him.  This is a decision that on he can make. You can give him information on detox, 12 step ect. You can support and love him. But he is the only one who can help himself.  This is the great pain of those who love the addict but the is no other way.

Peace