vicidon addiction

[toomuchforme]

My husband has been taking them for the past 5 years. He takes 20 or more a day sometimes. He spends so much money on them buying them from anyone he can. He has none right now and wont have any for about 10 days. He wont ho to rehab..he says he is just going to go thru withdrawls then start again. Im scared of coming home from work and finding him dead. I dont know which is worse him going without them for so long..cold turkey. Or him taking so many.  I need some advice

[ecotime47]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how painful it is to watch a loved one suffer. I also know how painful it is to watch them make bad choices and suffer worse later. I'm praying for you and your husband. Hang in there.

[Buddah01]

I am on day 17 (14 days no opiates) as I tapered for 3 days. My story is the same as so many; back issues, then a car wreck that made things worse and eventually back surgery. In the beginning the opiates worked wonders and at small doses. It helped with the pain and seemed to increase my attitude and decreased my appetite (a wonder drug right?), not so much in the long run. My original doctor turned me over to a pain management doctor and the scripts increased and flowed like water. The last 3 years I was on 360mgs of OxyContin per day and took 300 of those in a 12 hour period. I was starting to feel like s..t even on that dose and could tell my brain wanted more. I had self detoxed 10 years prior off of 30mgs per day and didn't suffer a lot of physical effects but had mild depression for 30 days. I had gotten to the point that mentally I could not feel the effects of the opiates (this is an important part of my detox). I'm 44 and started usage at 32. My personality had changed so much but I chalked it up to getting older and having children. Turns out maybe not so much and now I realize I should have trusted the doctors less and done more research on my own (why would the doctor want to give up my $250 appointment every 3 months). I'm not saying a doctor will not help you to get off of opiates but he won't if you don't ask. My doctor suggested a 2 year taper but even at the high dose I was taking, I was already needing more, so I figured I'd rather feel like complete crap for a week (what the doctor said I would be sick for, which is another lie that the pharmaceutical companies tell the doctors) than semi crap for 2 years. So prior to starting detox I watched every video on YouTube I could find every article on the internet on what helps the detox process. For me high doses of loperamide (just anti diarrhea medication) worked wonders the first week (I won't go into why it works but info is easily found and it's relatively cheap). I also found that Phenibut helped when nothing else would but it itself is extremely addictive, even though it's legal in the US, so use with extreme caution. I also bought kratom reserve extract but it had no effect on me. I also ordered cannabis oil but even though it was expensive, it's not what they show on the internet and had no effect on me. Today is the first day that I haven't thrown up as the start to my day. I also actually got more sleep last night than the previous 5 days combined. I want to touch on 2 super important aspects of long term high opiate usage: the first is that anyone on more than 90mgs for a year should have there testosterone levels checked (I found that in a medical journal, that obviously the pain doctor expert hadn't read). Opiate usage can shut down testosterone production and that has a 100 horrible side effects in itself including depression, anxiety and low libido. The first two increase the need for more opiates. The second are the long term effects of opiate usage (I will only go into two that are to me incredibly important for length purposes but look them up). Prolonged opiate usage causes insomnia (I am not talking about the 2 week detox period from feeling sick) for a year or more (I guess another article my doctor missed). Most importantly opiates should not be used for long term pain management (another medical journal article) unless patients are terminal. The body develops tolerance, it always will and unless you are willing to take an infinite amount, it's not the answer. It can also produce an effect called hyperalgesia, were it actually increases your pain because of the damage it does to your pain receptors in your brain (kind of an important thing to miss if you take opiates for pain management). I guess my point for this long post is don't beat yourself if you find (yourself) in my same position. Doctors are in the business to sell you scripts and continued appointments, not to have you go away. Don't trust them blindly for your treatment and do your own research. I feel like I have been extremely mislead! My questions to this sight are these. I have the financial resources to do the $10,000 rapid detox but felt I needed to go through the pain to show myself how horrible these drugs are, does anyone else feel like that? Also I started my detox with 5,600mgs of OxyContin in my safe. I felt like I had to prove to myself I had the the ability to beat this drug face on and that I was stronger than it was or is this just a stupid thing to do? I have to say I haven't even considered taking one even after a week with a total of 11 hours of sleep. The more I understand the drug, the more I hate it but I hadn't had any euphoria effects in years and that's to me the hardest part to give up. Anyone else feel like that? Ps I was terrified that my pain levels would be unbearable, as that was why I was on them, my pain has remained the same (what a farce, the opiates weren't helping at all)

[killerwds]

The bummer is...after 10 days of withdrawl he is so close to the good side of it all.  If he could stay clean and stay away from the pills for literally another week or even less I'm almost certain he would be feeling better.  When I was in my heaviest of withdrawls what kept me going, besides having no other option, was the thought that I didn't want the pain and anguish I had been through to be for nothing.  I didn't want to ever have to repeat it and the only way to do that was to just keep on enduring.  I wish you and your husband well and hope that maybe after he has suffered through the worst of it he won't want to throw that effort away.  If he can go 10 days I know he can make it all the way.  I encourage you to share with him and help him into recovery.  
I'm sorry if he doesn't want it.  I'm sure it is very difficult for you, there is also a forum for people living with addicts that might give you some advice and insight as to what you might want to do for you.
Good Luck.

[clean_in_ks]

Ok....that was weird!
I originally thought one could die from going cold turkey off opiates, too.  I was up to 30 pills a day at my worst...and was just sure I would die...LOL
I gotta tell you, if you have no other medical conditions, you may feel like you are dying...but it isn't dangerous.  Many of us have done is successfully.
My husband was in the VERY SAME SHOES as you.  He was torn about watching me suffer and be sick or continue to enable me in some ways.
He wishes now (hindsight is 20/20) that he would have enabled me less.

If your hubby doesn't WANT to quit, is willing to go thru withdrawals and just go right back on them.....not a lot you can do about it.  He's in a "won't do this and won't do that" mode.  Only HE can decide to do it differently.

Just be assured, maybe a hellacious w/drawal will help to change his mind....or consequences of his own choices.... that you allow to occur.

[clean_in_ks]

I keep trying to reply to your post...and it's wiping out my comments.  I'm sending this now as a test....and will follow up with a comment if this works, OK?