relapse

[pillpopperhell]

I went twelve days clean and relapsed.  That was four days ago.  Now I have to start over.  How stupid of me.  I can't do it.

[bama88]

Relapses are part of the process. Stop dwelling on that and focus on getting back in the saddle.

What are you going to do different this time. Remember if you stay the course and get thru the detox it will get better.

How do you feel about aftercare. Meetings??  And build a support system around you. And when your feeling weak post.

[YesLife4Me]

I understand  you are saying, however, the only way out is to be ok with not being ok for a while.   It's like when you have a major surgery.  You are going to have some down time where you just cannot do all the things you want to do.   This is the same process.    The mental aspect is the hardest because we relied on the pills to clean house, go grocery shopping, go to work, make dinner, you name it.   It's a life style change.   Now we have to learn to do these things without pills.   You have to choose if you want to spend the rest of your life being a slave to pills to get anything done or invest some time into getting better so you can have the rest of your life to tackle life.   I'm not sure how old you are, but for me, I had to stop and think "Is this how I want to spend the next 20, 30, 40 years of my life?"   That's no life.   That's existing to 'get things done'.   What's more important?   Your health or having a clean house?

[dominosarah]

Those pills are giving you a false sense of security.  If you keep this up you wont have to worry about cleaning your house.  The only thing those pills give us is a death sentence.  Noone is exempt from that.  Dont use "cant" as an excuse, say i "can" and make that your reality.

[weaver71]

If you keep taking them, the house won't matter, the family won't matter, life itself won't matter. Pills take every last thing we love or care about and give back nothing in return. Why do you want to stop? I didn't even consider quitting, until they stopped working, and I ended up at the point I was OD multiple times. What is the most likely thing that will happen if you continue? What's the most likely thing that will happen if you stop? You gotta decide for yourself what you really want and what it will take to get there. I hope you figure that out sooner than later. We will help in any way we can, but you have to make some decisions. I hope you get that moment of clarity to live the life you want.

[LeaAnn807]

You can't do it if you say that!  Telling yourself that you "can't" will turn into the truth if you let it!  Your house can wait.  Clean it up, and start over.  Go to meetings.  Do something different.  Get the kids or someone to help with the chores.  WHATEVER it takes is what you do.  Honestly, is a clean house or clean from drugs more important to you right now?  You have to be the one to decide that......

[PorVida]

Look attitude is everything here.  I was clean 9 days on and then went to my doctor to cancel my scripts but my sneaky little mind convinced me to ask for one more script.  Well I took some pills then flushed the rest.

I should have 2 weeks clean today, but I don't and I don't care because I used the mistake to make additional changes.  I called all my doctors and pharmacies and had them mark me no narcotics.  I also went to my phone company and had the memorized numbers of sources I knew blocked from responding to my calls or texts.  So now I have zero options to get pills.

I want to be clean now more than anything.  More than my pride of telling my family or my doctors.  More than making sure I have just one more source for when I really really need 1 just in case.

Until you cut the source, you will continue to relapse and use.  I can tell you this because I did it.  Last time I detoxed, i played the game you are playing at day4 and got just 1, then just a couple more, a year then passed and I was totally out of control.

[pillpopperhell]

  I just can't keep up with life.  I just don't have the energy or motivation to do anything.  Even after twelve days.  I just want my house clean

[pillpopperhell]

I tried to get three more today but it didn't work out..............yet

[pillpopperhell]

I took a tab 10 the first day and two 7.5 every day since then

[pillpopperhell]

I just feel like it's the only way I can keep up on my house and family

[YesLife4Me]

Don't beat yourself up.  We have all been there, done that.   Relapse sometimes can be a part of recovery.   We learn something from why we relapsed and move forward.    This is the hardest thing you will ever do for yourself.  As long as you keep fighting and trying, you are winning the battle.  

What and how much did you take?    Are you having withdraw symptoms?  

[tinkerbell2661]

You can do it!!!! You are gonna have to make your mind up and do it!!!!!  I am 15 days clean so if I can do it you can too...stay strong and fight your demons...start again and don't look back....I am here if you want to talk....do it!!!!!!

[weaver71]

Maybe YOU can't do it, but WE can. I've been a huge self-centered ego-manic for many years. I thought I could grab my boot straps and march into freedom. After 2 yrs of trying, drugs finally humbled me enough to get help from every source available, this place being only one. So, what are you doing different this time? Do you have local support to help you through those sneaky thoughts and feelings that happen?

[luvabugga]

Yes, you can do it!!!  Don't give up!  Pick yourself up and get back on track.  If I'm doing it, you can too....trust me.  I'm weak as hell but I'm not giving up and you can't either!

[IBKleen]

You're not on day sixteen and you CAN do it. At 12 days you should have been past the initial physical withdrawal. So what do you think caused you to relapse?

[pillpopperhell]

Please help me

[pillpopperhell]

I could be on day sixteen.  Damn it