Crack Cocaine Question

[InLoveWithanAddict]

I posted something earlier that explained my situation. I know this may sound a bit horrible.. but at this point I am looking for another reason to stay away. My boyfriend that I have known for 10 years goes on crack binges for no apparent reason. I know he has full intentions to go about what he said he was going to do... he just... ends up there in the city buying Crack from whoever is selling it. We have three children and I recently moved out and back into my father's house because of his last 3 night - 4 day binge. The house we were in the process of getting is no longer available to us since he spent such a big portion of our money. It hasn't even been two weeks... and right now in this moment he is in the middle of another binge. It is hard for me to come to terms with leaving him for good. We have a family and I love this man - I really really do. I would take a bullet for him without a second thought. But when is enough enough? My six year old is asking questions (even before we moved) and I just told him he was on a business trip... even though this last binge cost him his job. My daughter cries for him at the door. Emotionally and mentally - I can't even begin to start explaining how I feel. On these binges.. does crack make you want to... I will say, have "relations" with others? I know for a fact there has been at least two dozen times that he is with girls during his binge, giving them rides etc. I think I am just looking for an excuse. The fact in knowing I cannot help him get help is killing me. He has to want the help. Otherwise he will go to rehab "because I said so" and have a relapse as soon as he gets out. It's pointless. I just feel so terrible and helpless. I have been on this website reading posts for three days straight. There are really amazing people on here, and I thank you all for not judging and being so helpful to one another.

[InLoveWithanAddict]

This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with! I planned my whole future around him and our family.. since moving I just feel like a lost puppy. I know I have to be strong for my children and always do what is right by them first. He is not the "cheating" type of man but drugs can completely change a person.. I don't think I could deal with his addiction and cheating both. I'm going to get tested just in case and try to figure out a way to help him instead of enabling him, which I just learned recently by letting him back in is doing exactly that. Addiction is such a touchy subject, I have been around it my entire life... my biological mother walked out when I was 8 to feed her addiction and never came back. This man means too much to me to just throw my hands up and walk away... but I don't want my children to go through what I did growing up. There isn't stability or security. I keep him in my prayers, and I know God has a plan for him and I... together or separately, and somehow some way... this was the path that was meant for us both. I just hope that one day he can look in the mirror and see himself the way I see him and realize he is too precious of a soul to hurt himself the way he is doing now.

[OpenMind24hours]

Don't even think about judgement! That's a non-issue here. Your story hit a bad memory with me. My daughter is recovering from crack, 9 years clean. Our granddaughter is 3 years old. My recovering daughters' a great mom. Hard to believe what she once was. Crack is one of the top "most addictive" drugs in the world. She was hooked. You're right, the addict must make the decision, and she finally did. It took years. But I'm here to tell you there IS hope. I'm also in recovery, opiates and alcohol, and I go to lots of NA meetings. One of my meetings is full of crack addicts. Some with many many years of recovery. All you can do is take that bit of hope and cling to it.

Meanwhile, u need to find time to go to either nar-anon or Al-anon meetings. You need to work on getting your own life back. I also belong to that fellowship. Comes highly recommended! I wish you the best. God can do for us what we can't do for ourselves. Have faith!

[InLoveWithanAddict]

Thank you both so much. I truly appreciate your responses.

[ariley13]

I don't know a lot about crack cocaine, but I do know what it is like being married to an addict. I just wanted to offer you support and a shoulder if you need it. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

[atthebeach]

hun don't worry right now about leaving him for good. for now you are separated and that's ok for now. please take care of you and the children. did you look for alanon meetings? here is the link.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

you cleared out the bank account right? you need to protect the finances.
I am sorry to say but yes there is heightened sexual promiscuity associated with crack cocaine.
I think you should go to the ob/gyn and get tested for STD's and the HIV virus. I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this.
keep reading. knowing you are not alone helps immensely.
keep posting for support.
Debbie