im in DEEP trouble

[dbrowneyedgirl]

I pulled out a jacket from my closet to wear today and found 5 vicodin in the pocket. I held them in my hand and threw them in the trash can then went out for a run came home took a hot bath. They're still in the trash screaming my name. Its no where near the amount I'd take in one dose. WHY haven't I flushed them down the toilet?? Bcuz I want them. 33 days clean. I thought I'd be tougher than this. I'm not I'm weak. I know what I need to do. I need a push. I'm procrastinating. My mind wants to swallow them. My heart wants me to say no. WHY in tf am I still toying around over here.

[SophieShine]

Awesome job!!!! Keep on keeping girl, you're doing this....

[LADNORTHERN172]

GOOD CALL.....

[FibroMissa]

Ohh I'm so glad you flushed them :) You should feel awesome about it ...that was quite a test and you passed!  good job!

xo D

[dbrowneyedgirl]

Thanks mike
I heard about the weather over there on this evenings news & thought about you. I'm in constant contact with other addicts. Going to 5 meetings a week & on the forum everday. I still can't believe I did that. I do need to move forward for its too late they're long gone. I did want them something awful tho.

When u don't believe in yourself the members here will
When you're feeling weak the members here will give you strength
When u don't think you can make it thru another day the members here will carry you thru
When u don't believe in a higher power the members here will be your higher power
When u don't love yourself the members here will love u untill u do

My sincerest thanks to ALL the members here Rhonda

[dominosarah]

Way to go on flushing them!!!  That takes strength.         sara

[tellit2her]

HI rhonda, well well, what a surprize to see your post and I just got on after being off for a while. Good job, thats all I have to say, really do not want to talk about what you found, just let it go, move onto the next chapter please. Good to hear that you are doing well with your recovery. Life is full of close calls, its like that all the time even if we like it or not. Just life with its bends in the road. I just want to say that you gave me some good support in recovery and thank you. We picked up some snow here in North Carolina which is quite unusual to say the least. The locals said its been years since they have seen 4 inches of snow and all the stores sold out of shovels, milk, TP, bread, heaters, wood and you name it. I find it quite comical to say the least. It will be gone by monday and spring will be here real soon. It will be 60 days sunday, wow, I still have so much work to do, glad to have some decent aftercare as I would only go for a few weeks in the past and relapse time and time again. Just something different this time and I really enjoy going to therapy as well. Just want to say you did good with your decision, and I dont know what I would do... Just go on now and do what you have been doing rhonda,,,, stay in touch,, proud of ya,, mike in nc

[dbrowneyedgirl]

I cannot believe I just flushed them! After reading your guys' immediate responses I flushed. I watched them go and said "I can't believe I just did that" I feel better now BUT I wanted them so bad, you guys have no idea how bad. Makes me realize where I'm at today, how far I've come and how much work I have ahead of me. Of course we only worry about TODAY tho right gang? Thank you all so much for believing in me & supporting me and pushing me. U guys are all PUSHERS lol. God love you all...


I still can't believe I flushed 5 vicodin down the toilet. I'm mourning their loss right now. But I do feel proud and better that I'm not being teased

[pharma9]

Just a little test that you will pass easily.You are going to flush those little devils or add bleach to them and watch them fizz away just like the wicked witch of the west and get on with your healing.

[716]

remember how you felt day 3 or 4 during your WDs?? i do, cuz they were only a couple days ago.  im sure you swore off ANY pills then, nothing has changed dont forget why you quit.  33 days is something to be proud of, you will feel guilty and regret it immediately if you take em.  dont think, just flush em and your spirit will feel a weight lifted.  tomorrow will be day 34 not day 1. FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH

[dominosarah]

Flush them NOW.  You can do this.  You are stronger than this.  Be in control of you and dont let your addiction take over.  After you flush them go for a run again!!!  It will give you strength like you never felt....sara

[FibroMissa]

FLUSH THEM!!!  By posting here you are proving that you deep down DON'T want to take them.  Great job on your 33 days clean!!!  You can make it to 34 then on and on but you gotta get rid of them now. Please do it right away!!

I'll be thinking of you!!

xo D