Sub W/D worse than I anticipated

[feohmoon]

As many of you know, my fiance and I tapered/detoxed off 130mg. methadone 2.5 years ago and although it was extremely difficult, we were prepared both mentally and emotionally and although the withdrawals were severe - we persevered.  
I am ashamed (and angry) at having arrived here again but whats done is done and I only have control over the present and future and not enough energy to waste on guilt and remorse right now as I need that energy for getting past this sickness.  My fiance and I have been taking very low doses of suboxone for a few months (in between binges of our DOC) -
I am very surprised at the fact that the sub withdrawals are very similar to methadone withdrawals.  Many people have came off of suboxone with little withdrawal symptoms and wonderful, positive success stories but that is not the case for us (or for many others).  We have experienced feelings that are consistent with coming off high dosages cold turkey and the past 4 days have been miserable. Today is better - but since I am somewhat of an 'expert' regarding withdrawals, I realize that we are in no way out of the woods on this.
As I get older, I have greater concerns regarding my health and I no longer wish to live my life in a fog.  Over the past few months I have been in a serious rut and it is because of the guilt I harbor over having allowed myself to be in this situation again.  Although I am sick now, I am already feeling better mentally and emotionally.
I appreciate all of the encouragement and support from this forum.  I realize that sometimes I am the one who is adamant about avoiding maintenance drugs such as methadone or suboxone but it is only because it prolongs the inevitable.
When I read posts about doctors prescribing high doses of suboxone for someone taking a minimal amount of vic or perc, etc., it frustrates me because it is like re-toxing rather than de-toxing.  For short-term use (less than 1 month) I can understand its effectiveness in helping to alleviate the most severe withdrawals.  But the doctors who encourage long-term use and prescribe extremely high doses of this rather new medication suboxone, I feel they are not considering the best interest of each patient.  Personally (and I can only speak for myself based on personal experience and much research), I trust methadone more than suboxone.
Best of luck to all and thanks for being here.  

[feohmoon]

Thanks Sara, neither of us expected this to be so rough considering all we have been through in the past, but then again, we cannot expect to continue this abuse without doing more damage each time - therefore taking a longer amount of time to heal.  
Yesterday was so brutal that it made me realize the regular withdrawal symptoms are bearable.  

[sky_is_the_limit]

Yes. Alot worse than I expected. But today our withdrawls are subsiding! Glimpses of HOPE! But to everyone that is feeling the way we have in the past five days I comend you. Keep your head up! We can do it!
  I am so proud of you Pheomoon! This is the first time since we have been addicts that we have truely wanted to stop. And we have. I will put forth positive energy to everyone in our situation, or any situation for that matter.
  Thankyou for your support everyone and keep your head up. THE SKY REALLY IS THE LIMIT!

[dominosarah]

You sound positive and that is a big plus.  I know the wd's suk but it is the price we have to pay to get better.  Please dont let the guilt eat you up right now.  Turn it into positive thinking and make this the last wd you go thru.  With recovery care you will be able to deal with the guilt and move on.  I know this isnt fun either!!  You and your fiance have a goal so keep reaching for the stars.  Its right in front of you~~~~sara