Taper, Urges and Cheating EX'S

[shauna268]

Thanks to those who responded to my post this afternoon. I was a daily oxy user of 300mg just to function and get high...and four weeks ago I started my taper program with my WD MGT support team and my doctor. I have found this week to be extremely hard, and challenging. Being down to 30mg 3x daily is enough to subside SOME WD symptoms...but obviously not all. I have had a fairly emotional week... plus a pretty discouraging phone call from my EX of five years, who cheated on me, which I walked in on...and got another woman pregnant during our relationship. I wasted too surprised by this, because every man I have ever dated… cheats on me. I am finding myself not to be motivated towards my recovery… but rather depressed and upset about the life I once had, and destroyed. Although I did not go see the dope man…after making a phone call today...I have found today extremely challenging and my mind is fixated on getting high and relapsing. I wish I could just be stronger.

[recoveredfromamonster]

Wd do is HE double hokey sticks. It took a while to get to where you are. It will take some undoing. With Opiates while you may think you are doing better by tapering your only fooling yourself. There is no way around it. You feel dumpy and completely out of it. But you will live and get your life back. I wish you both the best. I have been there. I'd like to say NEVER AGAIN! But I have to continue to work my program as no amount of sobriety is a guarantee.

[Ballgame]

I'm on day 4 of taper and on 30mg x2 day. I was on 60mh x3 each day. Just coming down that little bit *****!!!

[sadmumma]

Hi Shauna, I agree, tapering does prolong the inevitable - you will still have to wd completely one day. Yes, you will feel crap but think of it as the beginning of an end to the hell of addiction. I have been through it - it is crap - but it is very very do-able. Don't let anyone ruin your chance to turn your life around. By the sounds of it you will be better off without your ex. Concentrate on getting well, take it day by day and YOU WILL get there.

Good luck.

[recoveredfromamonster]

A loss of energy and all around crappy feeling with a side of temporary depression is common. I dislike the taper bit. To me, having been there, it only prolongs the inevitable. The healing cannot begin until completely out of your system. Keeping it in your system no matter how small of amount only prolongs the cravings and wds. Sorry about the personal part with your ex. It's not your fault he was an you know what hole. One thing I have realized in getting clean and sober is that there is no shortage of them in the world. Plenty of good people in the world for that matter too. Do yourself a favor. Loose the dopeman's number and just stop taking them. You gonna put yourself through more misery then you have to. No amount of tapering will replace the swiftness of abstinance. You may feel like your gonna die but it's a fact that you will not die from wds from Opiates. Only dts from Alcohol can you actually die from. Make sure you drink fluids and force some food down your throat every day. A vitamin might help you too.  Good luck. I'm pulling for you.

[IBKleen]

Hi Shauna!

I know the feelings you are having and as crazy as it sounds, they are normal for this phase of withdrawal. They will pass. You have a lot going on right now and you need to just down, breathe and be good to yourself. Do something nice for yourself like get a manicure, take a hot bubble bath or treat yourself to a dinner out. Whatever you think will make you feel good about yourself.

I don't know what the deal with your ex is but if it upsets you that much and it makes you think about using--just hang up! You don't listen to that and you don't need to be in a situation where there is any more stress. Withdrawal is enough to handle right now.

I don't know what a withdrawal management support team is but it sounds wonderful. Is this a group of recovering people that you have phone numbers for? If so, call someone. Talking through the cravings will help and often you just get so exhausted talking about them that they pass.

Don't forget that you jumped pretty fast from your regular dose so you are going to feel it--mind and body. Hang in there and know that it will all be over soon.

Keep posting and talking. People here understand what you are going through and what you are feeling.

Oh yeah, and you said something about an earlier post. I did not see it. If you are talking about the same subject it is best to stay in the same post. That way the members get to know you and get to see your whole story. You also get to see all the responses. Just helping you that with that.