Please help me hold on.

[girlunderconstruction]

I used to take pills during the summer.  Never a lot but maybe 5 or so at a time until i started coming down from my high and i would take more.  I liked the feeling im not gonna lie but thats my issue now.  I am scared that i am gonna start back.  I really do want to quit and rehab is not an option b/c the drugs are not currently in my system plus it would kill my family.  I miss the feeling of happiness and not worrying about anything but at the same time it scared me b/c when i was coming down off them i would panic to get more and then acted like a kid in a candy shop when i got some more.  I still hang out with some of the same people that i used to take pills with and they know that i have stopped and they are proud of me.  I can't just being around them i have been friends with them for nine plus years and they never pressured me into anything i would ask for the pills.  My boyfriend at the time actually stopped giving me pills b/c he was scared i was getting addicted.  i would almost cry if i didn't have loratabs, zanx, valium or something in my system.  I have been having the same feelings lately and its december i still catch myself having cravings and it would be so easy for me to access more pills i am scared that i will b/c the feelings get stronger and stronger and am soooo stressed.  Please help me....does anyone have any advice on what i could do to get over the feelings of withdrawl or cravings?  I know i don't sound  like i really want to stay off pills but i really honestly do.  

[10356]

5 or more pills is a lot at one time then you would take more when coming down.. That is not a small amount.. Only you know why you quit in the first place.. If it was bad the 2nd time will be worse.. Your BF has them.. Your friends do them but you still want them..  Not a good situation.. it all ties in together..  I wish you well.. lesa

[jdawne1899]

Can you maybe go to your Dr and get on a non-addictive, non-mood altering anxiety med? I bet that would help big time

[TrayCee]

your not in withdrawal.  Mental craving are rough, it takes a strong mind.  Sounds like the only way is to stay away from anyone who can get them for you.

Good Luck!