PLEASE HELP ME see gettting off oxy

[guessgirlshell]

see getting off oxy

[guessgirlshell]

You are wonderful and caring! OMG I did not expect the degree of caring here!  I guess it comes from the joy of having your life back?  That is what I am hoping!  I am like a functioning alcoholic except on drugs but ....If I can get off them and level my moods and actually FEEL better I am ready!  My daughter said if I get on Suboxene that I will NOT have to feel all my chronic pains.  that would be VERY helpful in keeping me clean because its the physical pain that sends me to reach for more pills!!!  I can handle the other part........the "my head telling me I need a pill" part.  I think I can anyhow.  I will keep coming here every day. I have an appt with my doc on Mon and we will see where I can go.  I had called over the summer and NO ONE wanted me they said I did not qualify, not sick enough?  I ran out of NORCO one time I thought I would literally die.  My legs hurts so bad all the time and this was over the top unbearable.  Too much baggage, time to unpack the luggage!
{{{{Thanks to all of you!}}}}}  Guessgirl

[formernurse]

This is the time that you can actually be selfish and think about yourself.  All members of your family are adults now and children are doing good.  You MUST remember that you only have control over yourself and not your husbands problems or anyone elses.  You must now take care of your self during the w/d and healing time.  Take one day at a time and talk to us!!!  We are here and will listen.  I am 4 weeks off of Norco and physical w/d gone.  Exercise helps depression (just a walk around the block or to the mail box helps)  You need to get in the sun if possible.  There is something about the sun on your skin that relieves depression.  It releases dopamine or something.  I know from experience that physical pain limits some activities but even if you have to lean on a walker or cane get outside if weather permits.   Also remember that the first 72 hrs are hardest then the nerve fibers start to calm down and stop their screaming for a narcotic fix.  Good luck we are here

[road2recovery]

I agree start with one thing at a time..Right now i think the depression is a hugh issue...I know when i started getting clean, everything hit me all at once and i would cry non stop...
I had also noticed i wasn't taking my lexapro every night like i was suppose to..Once i started that and the doc raised the mg a little it was night an day...

We are here for you....
r2r

[avisg]

OK first things first ....do you want to stop taking the pills ? 2nd you are going to have to get the depression under control ...... I think you need to let your therapist know another month is going to be way to long for you and you need an appt ASAP...If she can not see you any sooner then you need to seek help elsewhere.... I think with all of these many things you have going on looking into a rehab center would be what is best for you that way they can monitor you very carefully and help
with the depression.....Life can get better then this ..... I think an NA meeting would help alot you could use the group support .I would give it a try  shelley....If you dont care for it you dont have to return....
Avis

[guessgirlshell]

yes I agree.  one thing at a time.  but right now it all feels like it is coming in on me.  
I have nott tried  to  stop pain meds....when I was in short term hosp for depression THEY cut my pain meds in 1/2 (2000) and took my xanax and ambien away.  Then they continued to cut my pain meds.  I stayed a low  dose a little but it did not last.  I dont believe the pain meds are depressing me!!!  My life is.  But I was not on oxy then. And swear I have not felt an oxy high, I just  take it.
I tried to cut back on it and I got flu sick so I took it an felt better.  
I have 2 suicide attempts in the past 7 years because I cannot crawl out of the depression.  I do and then it comes back.  It does not take much to get me back there.  I was always an upbeat happy to be around person, well on the outside.  Most people like to be around me and would never know anything is wrong...........I do need alternatives.  I have tried. I am certified to do healing touch and I know it works first hand.  I had to quit yoga cause I got another enitre set of pain things going, knees and back.    What a life...........I need a nap but I have to type about 20 medical reports before my work day is done....hence shoulder,neck pain.  Thanks for all your advice and for listening to me.
Guessgirl

[IBKleen]

You have to calm down lady. You are going 100 miles an hour. And, you gotta keep it simple. One thing at a time.

Well, the kids have their recovery, and that is great! Mom (you) have to have YOUR recovery. I know you learned all this in alanon.

I don't know how long you have been in therapy, but it does take time. We didn't get this way overnight, and we don't heal overnight.

As far as the pain meds: What have you tried in the past to stop??

As far as NA? I have to say YES to that. It is a great way to meet people just like you. Since you already attend alanon, you know what to expect. I can't see how it would hurt.

Your medical problems will probably always be there. You need to find alternatives to what you are doing now for pain relief. Do you agree?

[guessgirlshell]

Ok...I am crying again and I think the reality of all this is hitting me.  My daughter, I took her to a detox out of town for 5 days, of methadone.  Then she came home.  She got REALLY sick!!! She had to wait 17 days to get on the Suboxene because there is one dr here who does it and he is overloaded with patients, sad.  So daughter and son in law on suboxene doing well. My son had multiple rehabs, finally went 28 day inpatient, THEN chose to go to a 1/2 way house instead of coming home...he had been out of the house for quite a while, was  Marine, went to Iraq.  Anyhow we stood by him every time including the last time and he WAS active in NA but never goes except to get his key chain.  Not sure why but he has turned his back on the rooms.  My mom, it took her 5 years on and off of AA and I was about 20 or so when she finally stopped so I was the oldest of 8 kids and I had the brunt of it. Married an alcoholic who after 6 years of marraige and 2 kids, died in a car accident, driving drunk.  I was 28.  Then met my present husband.  We drank together for quite some time then I was accidentally diagnosed with Hep C in 1997, treatment in 1998 *it almost killed me for real*.  I have had surgery on both TMJ and get botoxed for migraines.  I have fibromyalgia  and plantar fasciitis.   I am living with my alcoholic husband and I am GR for my wed alannon group. I just had colon resection a month ago.  My mom just moved to assisted living and I have lost that "support" and I miss her even though she is there I used to tell her everything. I have 2 therapists.  I am just getting NO WHERE fast.  Trying to talk to my daughter is NOT working cause I am finding myself getting defensive...I dO NOT CRUSH and snort oxy or put 10 morphine patches on my back.  God...I hate all of this and I swear I dont KNOW what I am going to do except I have an appt with MY PCP who put me on the oxy....I did not want it.  He said it was better than alll the norco.  Whatever.  My daughter wants met to go to NA tonight. I cantt take it.  Hugs Shelley

[IBKleen]

Good LORD woman! You DO have a lot going on!!

Because of that, you need to deal with one problem at a time. The depression and the suicide attempt concerns me..greatly. I don't have much experience with that, but someone will come along and shed some light and experience on that for you.

I am glad to hear you son and daughter are in recovery. that is a wonderful incentive for you. Hubby is a problem. I am impressed that you are in alanon. REAL good Move on your part. Not only about hubby, but since you grew up in an alcohol environment. I would also suggest therapy as well to deal with the childhood issues I am guessing that you are carrying around.

I too suffer with chronic pain (back). I started off taking the pain meds many years ago after an accident. I took them as prescribed..at first. Then, after years of use, I graduated to abuse. I got them where and when I could. I could not stop the pain. The more I took, the worse the pain got. It was a roller coaster ride.

Finally I made the decision to stop. I had pills left and I had a script left, but my mind was made up. I stopped. I have to tell you..although I still suffer with the pain, it is not NEARLY as bad as it was when I was taking the meds! Unbelievable, huh?

So tell us....what method do you have in mind to stop with the pain meds? How did your children do it?

[guessgirlshell]

I am 52 year old married female, 3 grown children.  Been suffering chronic pain issues for years.
Have been on Lortab (now Norco) for  8 years. Now oxy 30 twice a day added in.

Over  a year ago checked in for depression, they took 1/2 of my lortab from 10 to 5mg at once and took away 6 yeasrs of xanax and ambien!  Ok..I did not go there for them to take my meds I wnt cause I was depressed.  One month later I attempted suicide.

I am now on the oxy and only allowed 2 norco 7.5 a day but always run out and panic.  The oxy I take like clockwork and dont think about it much.  The  Norco rules my life.  I also started taking Ativan about 3 months ago and now was just given Ritalin so I can get out of bed cause they are thinking maybe I am depressed cause i have ADD?  They just dont know what to do with me!!!
I am FINE when all my meds are on board, except more and more frequently I cry and dont want to get out of bed.  

Ok I have decided I HURT with all this ****, so I may be better off without it.  I have NO libido and no  joy.  I am miserable beyond belief.  Hubby alcoholic.  I have hep c and dont drink.  Dont Smoke.
Dont get HIGH off my meds just  trying to keep my PAIN in control but it is not doing it.  So ...
I am going to end up in the hospital again cause its the time of year I get really down and my therapist cant see me again till dec5th! Sorry lots of info.
Son, 27 clean and sober 2 years.  Daugher almost has 6 months.  Husband active.  Mother  recovered alcoholic 30 years.  I go  to alanon.  I work HOME  ALONE and I have too much time to feel my pain and think my thoughts. Thanks for listening!  Guess girl

[IBKleen]

Hi Hun!

I think your original post got lost. Why don't you explain here what is going on with you??

[guessgirlshell]

I am at the END of my rope, please someone tell me it will be ok.  I  cant do this anymore.  I cant get out of bed I DONT WANT to!  I am so depressed and for what?  My daughter has gone through this and is clean and she wants me to do  it her way or no way?  Says I am not ready.  I am ready God I want my life back pleasesomeone help me