Terrified to start detox

[cutie pie]

I have been addicted to vicodin and norco for 4 years, i didnt know untill the first time i ran low that i would have withdrawals.I have to take 8 to 10 pills a day just to not get the withdrawal symptoms.I'm 58 years old. do you think i should go as an in patient to try to detox. How long untill i will feel normal again. Please help, i'm terrified. Thank you Lois

[Chas]

I dont know if any of you have read my posts, but Im the one using the oxys and vicodin.  Well the sh*&t hit the fan and i broke down and told some people who care about me and they decided to send me to the hospital er and try to get me a bed to detox.  Well it started off good.  I was taken about 50 miles from where I lived to one hospital, then was taken by ambulance (can you believe it?!!?) 20 miles to another hospital for a bed to detox.  Well I was really ready to do it at first.  As soon as I got there I felt like I was in jail.  They didnt have a bed in the detox section so they put me in the mental health unit instead.  They told me they would detox me there.  They took my vitals and told me that I wasnt in withdrawl but I felt like ****! No MEDS. Wow it was a rough night.  The bed was like a wooden board and i hardly slept.  As soon as i woke up i wanted out.  They gave me some tylonol in the morning when i told them how I was feeling.  I desparately got on the phone trying to find someone to pick me up and get me outta there.  I finally did (against doctors orders so i may not get insurance coverage)
and i left that night.  Now im staying at a friends house who is very supportive.  Im turning my finances over to my dad so that im not tempted to get more pills and ill be on a strict budget.
But....  Today i conjered up a reason to go to my apartment and I chewed up two vics that I had leftover.  Now i dont know what to feel.  I was just coming out of the withdrawls and now im worried that ill have to go through em all over again.  I really dont want to use but its like uncontrollable and once i start thinking about it theres no turning back.  Im gonna keep trying though.  If anyone has any advice let me know.  Oh yeah and thanks tom for all of the pointers from someone who is experienced with all this.  These doctors dont know anything.

Chas

[tom to Cutie Pie]

I have resigned from participation on the forum, but if you'd liked to talk to me privately for an answer to your question,
use
***@****

[cutie pie]

To Tom, How are you doing today. I really care. I will send good, and positive thoughts your way.

[cutie pie]

To Mikey Dee, and leases. I also am new to this forum and am ammased to find how many people are in the same boat as i am. I never thought i would go hopping from Dr. to Dr. to get pills. And the panic when time to refill is there all the time because sometimes their refused. we all know that feeling. (PANIC.)I honestly think if i could get all the pills i want without having to go through all the work of getting them  and didnt worry about the damage i may be doing to my liver and what ever else i probably would never try to stop.The problem i'm sure we are all facing is, how eventually every so often we have to increase the dose because of the tolerance our bodies are getting used to, it just makes it that much harder to make the rx's that your able to get last.Good luck to you both

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

To Mikey Dee and Leasing:  You are to the point where you don't need anybody preaching to you so I won't start.  Yes, we gradually realize what is happening and the pain and insanity of it all makes us want to "do something" about the pill problem.  The point is that even us so-called oldtimers can still fall into the trap of addiction.  I'm one of them.  In the past few months I even went so far as to say that I had my addiction problem under control and could continue using narcotic pain meds safely.  I ended up drug seeking as usual and eventually back in NA/AA meetings.  I'm still counting the days since my last Vicodin/Lorcet and still uneasy but still determined to stay clean one more day.  I'm "buying time" by not using in the hopes that I have one more recovery left in me before the end of my life!  One of the best things I ever did was come clean with my wife and family about my "secret problem".  I found that it wasn't such a secret after all anyway, and the big ball and chain was removed so that they finally felt comfortable enough to start supporting me.  J.B.

[Mikey Dee]

Yes Cutie Pie.  I wake up feeling that I'm getting sick because of the length of time since I last took Vicodin.  This is my first time on this board.  It confirms what I guess I already knew.  I'm addicted big time to Vicodin.  I've been taking it for 2 years.  I don't really use an awful lot more than I'm prescribed (using 5-6 per day).  But I definately determine how many pills I need when I go out, based on my schedule.  I also have prescriptions for Zoloft, Buspar, and Fioricet.  I usually mix the pills for "cocktails" as I like to call them.  I can't continue this.  I'm afraid that I'm damaging my liver.  I get stressed out when refill time comes (always too soon for my insurance to pay) or I need to go to the Doc to explain how much pain I'm in to get my refills.  I get 120 Vivodin ES's with 3 refills.  This has to stop.  I've lost weight (190 to 170 pounds)and am generally no longer "healthy" the way I was before this all started.  I came to this board to see if I could detox myself.  I wanted to know what to expect and how long it will take.  I think I can do it alone but I'm not sure if I should tell my wife (and get her help).  Anyway, thanks for all the info everyone.  It's good to know that I'm not alone and it can be done.  Now if I can just take that step.