The Best Laid Plans, I am SCARED

[redrocks]

I have been taking percocet 12 times a day for about 7 months. Sometimes I've exceeded my RX by taking 14. The RX is 1 or 2 every 4 to six hours. I have a legitimate need for pain killers as I have had a lot of surgeries on my knees one has been replaced and need to have the other one replaced, it HURTS.  More recently I have been diagnosed with an MRI as having stenosis. For the first time in my life I have had a reason to use the word "Buttock" in a sentence. The pain is in my lower back and goes into my left "buttock" and sometimes down my leg. It is always there but I get flare ups that are REALLY nasty. The narcotic is the only drug that has really helped, but it's also a LOT cheaper. Less than $11 a week as compared to around $160 for cymbalta. And it didn't really help anyway.

I have a history of addiction but usually with Jack Daniels. The last time I had a drink was November 22cnd 2001. I also have a anxiety disorder caused by my experience in an earthquake. I am always very anxious and I get panic attacks, several times a week. For years I was admitted to a psych ward 3 or 4 times a year. I once was addicted to xanax but managed to quit. I have a therapy animal, a Cat, and amazingly have not had to go into a psych ward since I got him

My surgeon told me he was getting uncomfortable writing my RX and has referred me to a pain clinic. That is made difficult as I have Medicare and there are only two places where I live that take it. One turned me down and the other is still reviewing my medical records.

At first all I wanted was to get into a clinic that would keep prescribing my drug but the experience of being so needy, more like desperate, and my understanding of how tolerance works started me thinking of just quitting and trying to live with the pain. I haven't gotten a buzz from my meds in a long time and they don't work anywhere near as well for the pain.

I told my Dr. I wanted to quit and would he write one last RX? I had called and gotten an appointment with the only narcotic help center where I live. They have a 1 or 2 year waiting list for methadone maintenance but as I wanted to quit not trade addictions they gave me a appointment for the next Monday, tomorrow.

But I got a phone call today, on SUNDAY, telling me they would have to reschedule me for the following week. I will run out of my meds probably on Tuesday, maybe Wednesday if I really cut back. I had figured I would be able to get into the clinic and use methadone to help me get off this stuff with a Drs help. But now I am going to have to go cold turkey. I will NOT go Dr shopping etc. Been there done that.

Reading through the posts here has given me hope as well as scared the Hell out of me. I thought I was oh so clever because I had a plan. Silly me...

I apologize for the whining. I've been doing a lot of it lately. I have read about the aminos etc and have some of them. But my funds are really tight! I have a part time job (I am allowed to have one even though I receive social security disability as long as the income is within a certain figure)  but because of my pain have missed a lot of hours there  and even buying things like the aminos is difficult.

I have written elsewhere my Cat has taken to calling my a "F"ussy. . After reading some of the threads here I feel even worse about myself. The Cat is right, but I am scared

[redrocks]

I do not think of myself as a "strong" person. In fact I have doubts about being able to taper on my own. I plan on jumping Wed. Thanks for your replies! I really appreciate them! I have to try and get some sleep now. I only work P/T but am supposed to be there at 11PM this evening.

[dhodge2000]

I was using between 200-250 mg a day. So you are at a much lower dose which is good. If you are a strong person and can taper, you could do that if you have anymore. Generic taper plans I found always said to start and cut by 25% every 3 days. If you don't have enough to taper then just CT it and find the thomas receipe. Since you're nit at a very high dose, the WD may be shorter and you may be able to handle it. But at mine, I went to the ER and was very very ill. Keep us posted and I hope you get your freedom!

[redrocks]

There is only ONE narcotic treatment center where I live. I live in the Far North.There are a couple of individual Dr.s but I was unable to find a single one that takes medicare. And apparently they won't allow me to pay cash if I have medicare.  dhodge2000 can I ask what amount of oxy you were using daily? Mine works out to 60 to 70mg a day.

[dhodge2000]

Well I paid cash for that. That's not including the ones that take medicare, insurance, or offer low income aid. If you think cold turkey is right for you then do it, but oxy is a beast and I couldn't handle it and all my research never said 2 days! Info I found was that the peak is at 3-4 days and then slowly gets better. It's about 7 days of the worst flu ever to the highest power. If you can handle that, then that's great, but I was too scared and wanted a solid plan to help me. But that's just me. good luck to you and hope it all turns out for you.

[redrocks]

My percs cost me $10.48 a week. My income comes primarily from disability and I just don't have any way to pay $400 a month for a med. The thought of not going through WD's is highly attractive, but I suspect I am going to have to do so. But thank you attabeach and dhodge2000  for your replies!

[dhodge2000]

Look for Out patient opiate detox centers around you. If it's an hour away then find a way to get there, it's worth it to get the monkey off your back trust me! You don't want maintenance so it won't be that expensive if you go to a real detox place. it took me a few months to find the right place, and trust me I talked to many quacks over the phone. One told me it would be 5,000 to detox! just be smart, keep in your mind that you should not go more than 4 times and sub strips (easier to cut up than pills) are about 9-10 per 8mg. Just search and see if you can find a place or call sub drs. and ask how much for a rapid 3-4 week tapering detox. Freedome has a price, but it's worth it to get the right help!

[dhodge2000]

Sub detox is not that expensive if you go to the right place. My entire detox one month is 400.00 including pills. I would have spent more if I stayed on the pain pills for sure!

[dhodge2000]

It's a fact that most places that detox (again not maintenance) do not use methadone anymore. Now that Suboxone is known to be an effect tool, Methadone is a last resort drug for maintenance usage and not detox. Maybe this person doesn't know about this new treatment that is available now. Many people only think of methadone when going to rehab, but that was like 8 years ago! Is itt a bullet, NO, magic cure not really. Stay on it longer than 4 weeks and you get addicted; but still, getting help from a detox center will help if serious. Just funny that people call sub a bullet, when most don't have a clue how it works or feels to be on it. If this person is scared, then there is hope out there besides going CT and crashing the plane.

[redrocks]

Why isn't there an edit feature here? I wish I could modify a post sometimes and don't want to make a new post to correct something.

[redrocks]

Attabeach I didn't think I had particularly been asking about methadone. I am interested in this suboxone but don't think I could begin to afford it.

[redrocks]

Thanks dhodge2000! I know what a PITA getting off methadone is supposed to be. And it's one reason I haven't looked into a maintenance program. Where I live there are very few doctors that do the suboxone thing and none that take medicare. At least none I could find. Am I right it takes a special license to prescribe it and my GP will not be able to do so? Regardless I'm scared to death now and  hurt badly. But I think I'd rather go for a couple of days being miserable instead of drawing it out for a month or two. If it will BE a "couple of days. I've read so many conflicting accounts!

[atthebeach]

He never asked about subs. He has been asking about meth now for over a week

[dhodge2000]

Once again, people posting ignorance on suboxone detox when they have no experience themselves. Call a OP detox center hat uses suboxone to detox. The most you stay on is around 3-4 weeks. REMEMBER DETOX NOT MAINTENANCE! thats the problem is people get freaked out with sub because they hear stories of people on it for YEARS and have a hard time getting off, well duh! Use it for what it was intended, as a detox aid and you will be fine. I am on day 9 and continuing to taper 25% drop every 3 days. It's ALOT easier than trying to get more pain meds, or making excuses to get more. Once you are off pain meds, you can see how much pain you have and try physical therapy and deep tissue massage. it saved me, because i am in pain, but the therapy helps manage it. Suboxone is not really for pain, so I feel pain, and now I just try to take non-addicting things. If you are a chronic pain patient too, then you will need to look for rx's that won't cause you withdrawal. until you really want that monkey off your back, you won't do it. But, going to a detox center saved me so much money, time, and stress. NO LONGER DO I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT RUNNING OUT! With sub, you won't want more and more, and you can taper without a bump if you stay within the 3-4 week timeframe. My journal has my day to day feelings so far and its day 9. Good luck!

[atthebeach]

Understandable that you are scared. The withdrawal won't kill you will be  very uncomfortable. Many people on this site have legitimate pain and then become addicted.you have to decide if you  still want be a slave to the pills or look for alternative methods. Many times the pain is much worse in your head and once you stop using it is bearable with otc and chiropratic exercising pt acupuncture. There is no easy way out. To go from pills to meth very very bad mistake at some point you will go thru the withdrawals. The toxins and poisons needs to be flushed out. You didn't get addicted in a week and it will take more than a week to be clean. Then you have to stay clean so only you can decide if you want to be off drugs and then you must make it happen. If you can't afford the amino acids don't take them. If seems you are trying to find excuses not to stop. If you already know you have a hsitory of addiction issues instead of going to meth clinic seek out a counselor therapist addiction specialist. Get to the root of your addiction issues.
Ask the LORD to help you
Debbie

[redrocks]

I AM a guy. I have an appointment to see my GP on Wed. This man knows my addiction history, knows I haven't gone back to ETOH, and is the one who refused to write for more percs 8 months ago. A couple of weeks ago I saw him for a regular diabetic checkup and told him exactly what had been happening. I asked him to include blood tests for my liver because I had been taking so many percs. He knows I once was addicted to xanax prescribed for my anxiety. He probably wouldn't write any for me, but I may ask him to write for a very small number. I'm going to ask about clonedine etc. But I hope to just be honest with him and have faith he will do what he thinks is in my best interests. He's a good man.

[MrNewHope]

My apologies... I thought you were a guy lol

It's not the end of the world Ms. Rocks * hehe

[MrNewHope]

Try not to dwell on the past. Anything can happen and you might get through this easier than you thought.  It helps reading successful posts on here of people who stick it through and so inspiring in time of need.  

You're plan is not doomed, I actually think it was saved in my opinion.  Everything happens for a reason :)

You should read some stories here and ask people about methadone and suboxone treatment, you may not realize it, but you prolly dodged a bullet so to speak lol

You can do it cold turkey, look at the people here who've done it under more horrible extremities.  just be patient, in a week it'll be better.

Can you get a script for anxiety from the doc? There's also scripts for nausea like zofran and I hear clonodine is good for highblood pressure and the cold sweats.  but it's gotta be from a doc.

It's not the end of the world man, it could be the start of a new happiness for you.