Therapeutic vs. Recreational Use

[kstuebin]

Is there a difference between using a drug for a medical reason and using a drug to get high.  Do the lines between the two blur together in some cases?  Is is possible to just take a drug as prescribed or is tolerance always going to develop leading to more and more? Do you take the drug because it alleviates your discomfort and is that the same as taking it to get high, (discounting pain)... I mean more like releiving anxiety. So many folks here on pain meds who need them trying to get off.  Why?  Why am I trying to stop since I feel worse now than before?  I realize this is not just one question but a whole series and I may be the only person here interested in the this so feel free to ignore this question and talk about anything you want.  Although, I would appreciate feedback if you have any.

[Shea]

Hi,

you certainly are more knowledgable than I when it comes to many issues of addiction so i can't offer advice. But I can offer you encouragement and tell you i think it takes a great deal of self-disipline to have the meds and chose to not use them. even for a day. that is great. It sounds like things aren't too rough(withdrawls) at this time of your posting. i will keep you in my prayers that they stay this way. good Luck skipper. i know people on this forum respect you and admire many things about you.

Shea

[SHOTSY]

Thanks, I've really become dependant on you all. I find myself constantly checking here. I guess the other morn I was just feeling really low and was having my own pity party with tears and all. But I'm really not trying to be the center of attention. It's just I need some people to talk to. And I like you all. Your words are so powerful and encouraging. I understand about the vics. I've been doing this routine for 8 years now. I can't take more cause just as well as they seem to make me feel better. If I take more they make me feel bad. Catch 22 so to speak. If I take it too late in the even I can't sleep well. Although on a few occasions, I have taken 1/2 in the middle of the night. But I  have sometimes taken small breaks like 2 days to 2wks. but then I feel like I need it again. My routine with it has been very regular. That's why when I've read what some people are dealing with, I tell myself I need to muck up. Look at their situation. I wished I could help. My heart hurts for them. I think I have to admit that I'm probaly habitualized to it. But I feel at times it's the lessor of two evils.Or is this really what we call justification. Wished I knew the answers not only for myself but others. Most situations are pretty common sense but this thing is a puzzler for me.But again thanks for being there. All this war stuff has been an under current running thru me and I guess it's starting to spew forth. Deal with what we can, right? Your friend, Shotsy

[jule1]

SHOTSY - Hi there I think I have read yoiur posts before I try to read all but it gets so hard.  I also felt at times that i was not being listened to on this forum.  There were times when I thought I would never come here again and that made me feel all alone.  The one thing I have found is that youi really do need to reach out and ask for help and you will be surrounded by compassion.  I think back to when I could take only 2-3 a day and wish I was back to that.  I think that if you are thinking about the vics a lot you are starting a porblem.  You said they make you feel normal that also means trouble.  If you can start decreasing your doses which should not be too hard since they are so small.  I honestly would hat to see you develop a problem like so many of us here have had.  I will always be her for you if you need me.  There is nothing I like more than to help someone.  Anytime just write boy I am starting to sound like a 60's folk song.  Your friend Julie

[Witchywoman]

Hi Jenifer, yes 5 HTP has been a godsend to me, and many others.
It is an over the counter amino acid. It comes from a plant. It is the precusor to serotonin, meaning the body makes it naturally, and creates serotonin from it. Serotonin is a neurotransmiter responsible for mood regulation. Narcotics deplete serotonin and this leads to severe depression.

With 5 HTP, you may get sleepy. It doesn't have that effect on me, but on most folks it does.

Start by taking 50mgs.  If you tolerate that ok, then you can try taking 50mgs twice, or three times a day.  I take 100mgs once in the morning, and that works GREAT for me. You can safely take 100mgs 3 times a day if the lower dose doesn't help the depression.

I encourage you to do your own research and learn about it as well. Enter 5 HTP into a search engine. Some good sites I have found are

http://www.biosynergy.com/5htp.htm
http://www.mineralconnection.com/5htp.htm

Shotsy, if you feel preocuppied and dependant on the vics, then even though your dosage is low, it sounds like you may have a problem with them.  I wish I had stopped taking them when I was only taking 2 or 3 a day. I did that for a while, and then slowly it crept up.  In my humble opinion it is better to stop now, than to let this progressive disease get its vice grip around your soul like it did to me.  You do have chronic pain though, so I'd suggest you discuss your situation openly with your doctor, and follow the medical advice. Only you really know, in your gut, whether you are an addict or not though..it is not for me to say.
Taking it every day, several times a day does lead to physical addiction no matter what your reasons for taking it are. If you need it to feel normal due to pain, that is one thing, but if you need it to feel normal due to avoiding withdrawals, that is another. For me, it was both.

My pain is better this week though. I am starting to think maybe the 5 HTP and the deprenyl is also helping me with the pain.

I hope I don't sound too preachy..that is not my intention.
I still struggle with my addict self, even though I'm not physically addicted anymore, I definately struggle with cravings and preocupation, and still need help to stay on the path toward the light.

lots of love,
WW

[SHOTSY]

Thank you! I've have been keeping tabs on you also. Reading the posts. Anticipating your return from your vacation. And I'm so glad you are doing well.From what I've read most people in this forum have a more desperate situation than mine.Sometimes I encourage where I feel I can contribute. Other times I leave it up to the 'pros' like you and Thomas,etc. I came to this forum because I use vicodin. 1/2 in morn, 1/2 in afternoon, sometimes 1/2 early evening. I thought I had an addication problem, but from what I've read here I don't think so. But still feel like I can relate. I'm actually self medicating because the med isn't prescribed by my dr. Has been at times though. And I feel sure if I asked him he would probaly prescribe some. I had told him another dr. gave me Robaxin for fibramyalgia(sp)-which was true- and that I took it at bedtime (1/2 first, then if I still can't get comfortable the other 1/2). Well,he wrote me a script for 2 every four hrs.! That would probaly lay me out. I still take it the way I need. So needless to say the script has lasted alot longer than he prescribed. Maybe it was a test? Do dr.s do that? The vicodin comes from my husband, he had back surgery and his dad gives it to him. But he doesn't usually take any. Sometimes I just don't feel well. I don't know if the med. can build up in your system and cause that feeling. But sometimes when I take it I feel better other times I don't. I get feeling bad about once every month. Sometimes it last longer than other times. I'll take my temp. sometimes it'll be normal or 99.4. Can pain pills do that to you? Or could it be a  type of withdrawal? When you feel like your mentally just weirded out. I have a hard time explaining it.I was on buspar but I stopped taking that cause of eye twitching. But quitting it hasn't helped that.I didn't even get to a theraupuetic dose before I quit. I'm just too paronoid I guess.Sometimes I feel like I should take something like Zanax but from what I've read here better to stay away from stuff like that.Reading this I'm starting to wonder if maybe I shouldn't start seeing my counselor again.Or maybe I should also quit taking the vicodin. I sometimes think I feel more normal on it than off. What does that mean? Is that an addiction? I just don't like to hurt. Geez, I really sound like a basket case. Although in my day to day living I do ok -I think. I just have all the thoughts rolling around my head.Well, I know this is alot to unload on you, I apologize.But I know from your posts you'll probaly have some words of wisdom.Thanks for listening, Shotsy

[jenifer]

I am about a month clean with no pain meds.I do take them for serious health reasons ,but do tend to chase and take too many if the pains is bad!Anyway I am really crious about the 5-htp sounds like I could really benifit from it!Could you clue me in on the doses i may start on,my deppression is real bad ,I know alot of that is from the high pain levels but if the 5-htp works I'll give t a try!I was also perscribed fastin(Phenermen)for weight loss(after lot's of steriod use over the last 2 years gained ALOT of weight) anywy they have amphetamines in them so until they ran out I was still feeling real bad but they gave me a little pick up!(Also lost about 40 pounds)!!!!!Anyway any info you could gve on the 5-htp would really help!Sounds like most everyone has had good results with it.Thanks lot hope everyone is doing well lot's of love and hugs to you too! thanks ww in advance!Jenifer