Thrown for a loop

[tlk]

Hi all. I've been clean off Norco since April 1. Dealing w/depression and the rest. Been getting horrid migraines. I ran out of Imitrex so yesterday took a bunch of Aspirin, probably 15+. Of course to me this was no biggie since I'm used to taking more than I'm supposed to of my drugs. But the migraine got worst, finally went to ER for a shot of Imitrex (asked for no narcs, which I guess was good). But now I have very bad ringing in my ears. It's been 18 hrs since I took the last aspirin, still here. I'm afraid it might be permanent. I can't stand it, want to throw my head through a window and make it stop. I tell myself I'm being tested again with these headaches and now this, on top of depression. But I'm really freaking out here. Can anyone help, please? First, on the ringing from the aspirin (I have no money and no insurance, so can't go back to ER) and then on the headaches and depression, sense of isolation? I'm going to my first meeting on Sunday, if this damn ringing goes away. Thanks everyone; I've been reading a lot here and it really helps.
tlk

[Hinkster]

Hi,
  This is hinkster I've talked to you before. The pain management
Dr.s put me on Methadone for my pain and took me off the Oxys. They also gave me 100 30mg roxicodones for either breakthrough or
oxy withdrawals. Maybe you can help me with this one. You keep
saying the Methadone has saved your life. As you can see I'am
crying out for all the info I can get on Methadone. I'am getting
scared to death by some of the posts on Meth, but also read the
compliments from other people. Please What have I exactly gotten
myself into by switching over? And also is it going to really help me with my PN pain? Is it okay to take the 30mg roxicodones
along with the Meth? Also I have a few oxy 40's left, is it safe
to use these up while on the Meth? I know you or someone else will have these answers for me. Its Sunday around noon and I might not be back until tomorrow morning.
Thanks
Tom

[hippy]

hope your feeling ok.
i was just out for a few hours helping a freind of mine who is blind, he needad help making brail lettering lables for his cd collection. i told him the name of the cd he typed out the names in brail and we stuck them on each cd, we got about 50 cd's done.
he lives alone and is very independent. It was an uplifting experence. I thought i was the only person with problems. HA HA
well he was so cheefull and grateful i left his place feeling so much better than when i had arrived.
your situation sounds trying,  keep  your head up,  you and all of here are headed in the right direction.
I was in a situation like yours at the end of my second marrage,i know it can be very hard on the heart, as rar as feelings go. when i was there i  just tried to keep my children
#1 and just kept loving them, it was so hard to love myself ,back then. it passed in time and i met my third wife after a while. we have been married for 13 years now and it is a good marrage. love is the best medicine.
I have love for everyone on this fourm my heart goes out to you and all ,who are traveling this rocky road.  Ihope you get some sleep thats another good healing medicine   peace  michael

[angst]

Hey is anyone still out there awake and alone on their computer?
I am still awake.  Insomia is strong tonight.  My ex and I just had a weird exchange.  We are living together, but I have my own room and the whole upstairs to myself.  We do not share anything except our child and meals and chores.  He freaked out when I had his cell phone like I was checking out who had called and who he had called.  I'm not like that.  I simply do not care who
he calls or sees.  It is almost understood that when I'm on my feet, I'll get an apartment.  He then started telling me that he is not seeing anyone, like it was from the book of who cares.  I'm not getting any right now.  It just is not a good time to start a relationship.  I'm living with my ex right?  He goes out occasionally, and I assume he meets women.  I've never known a man who did not.  I can live with that.  He insists on telling me otherwise.  He spoils me.  He always has.  I wish he'd just make up his mind, and maybe he has.  My daughter talked to her dad after she had a hard emotional time, and she got to go skating even though she is still on restriction.  I'm kind of glad she got out of the house.  I mean she goes to school and her ball games and works in the yard.  But she was so tired of being around her parents all the time.  She needed a night out and away from us.  I am okay, just awake and alone, except for my ex who is watching the tele.

[angst]

Hippy,
We both were in foster homes.  Many of my problems were because my brain did not form as others do.  Mother took valium her whole pregnancy with me.  She also took a drug for nausea that affected my reproductive system.  At 36, after several surgeries, I had an abd hyst with removal of ovaries as well.

My dad was bipolar and I went through fight or flight from birth to age 12.  When my parents split, mom had a break down.  I went into foster care for the first time. At age 14, the anxiety and wish to die started.  The doctor put me on a benzo.  

I also smoked pot at age 10.  Took my first drink around 12, not counting the homemade wine my father gave us as young as 4 years.

I survived.  That was not enough for me.  I became an addict.  I always said surviving is not enough, I want more.  I got more of somethings I did not want or need.  NA was a good place for me.
It still is.  I went to a meeting two weeks ago.  My asthma had me indoor this week.  It is hot and humid on the gulf coast.  I'm doing well with my methadone program.  I did go to group on Friday when I picked up my take homes.  I am blessed that the only trouble I got in was losing my nursing license when I did.
I will discuss today with my ex.  He did stick  to his guns about buying her only the two things she went to the store to get.  Good to hear from you.  Sounds like you did right by your children.  Shows you are a good person.  
Thanks for posting,  Ava

[hippy]

hey ther , hope your stomach is feeling better, what works for me is wheat or white bread. I here dairy is not so good , but everyone is different. Of course my grand mother always made me
drink ginger ale.
I  was a single father with two children, and when ever they were not feeling great or just complaining, and being bratty.
My parents would stop over and go into FIX them mode, by taking them out for ice cream . a cartoon movie and or a toy.
I had to put a stop to thier fixing. Telling them , how do you think i became the instant gratification addict that i am.
I had to teach the kids that there was a time for work and a time for play. A time to sow and a time to reap.
That they had to accept life and deal with it , with out needing to fix it, all the time.
Well i did pay a lot of attention to them, and gave them a stable household. something i never had.
They are doing fine these days my daughter is married with a 3 year old son. and my son is off to collage with a full scholarship.in sept.  
Neither one has shown any addiction problems. one is 18 and the other  23 and neither do drugs or drink at all.
So much different then me. But then  agian  iwas in foster homes
, abused, molested by a doctor freind of the family. went to 10 different grade schools. started smoking weed at 12 and stealing cars at 13. ,just your regular broken home ,stolen childhood.
american nightmare. , and drugs and sex came to my rescue at a young age and they worked. i used to run away from my hated life.

and it got worse untill i finally got clean in na when i was 24 .
and that gave my kids a chance at life.  sorry to ramble.
peace  life is good , it s the pain that i have to keep an eye on. the loss of loved one's and so on. I have to be careful not to use the pain s in life as an excuse to kill myself by useing and abuseing drugs.

[IrishRose]

Hi Angst- I too am having a totally nonproductive day which in intself may not be such a bad thing. I'm usually a relentless multitasker, organizer freak so sometimes it benefits me to just sit and do nothing. I feel like a little black cloud has descended down and is following me around today. I'm in such a funk I can't seem to do much but look at stuff on this computer and wander from room to room. I also seem to have no concentration today either. I feel like I'm about to slide back into depression, I've never been on meds for it and I have been clean for a number of years now so it's no post opiate thing. I guess I should just stop stressing about it for now and just try to feel whatever the hell I am feeling without running from it or trying to fix it. I went through some of the same stuff with my son that you were describing with your daughter. His dad and I split when he was little and what one didn't give in to him for the other would find out and make sure to do it. Despite all that he turned out to be a quite decent human being( he is 24 now) and I am very proud of him although he is going through some tough times of his own now he still always asks me how I am doing and what can he do to help. Take care angst, I'm trying to look at this as just a crappy day nothing more. I have asthma and am having a rough day with it because it is so damp and humid here in this part of the midwest I live in. Did you say you were from the Gulf Coast? I went down there in March for a business meeting and although I liked it very much the humidity about did me in, I was bonded to my inhaler the whole time. Take care. IR.