Aa
Time to stop
I took my last Norco 10 tonight after a week long taper from 5-6 tabs daily. I have started taking vitamins (C, B super complex, Calcium, multi/prenat vitamin, as well as a sleep/relax complex w/valerian root, melatonin, and chamomile), immodium, and Benadryl to help me sleep. I have plenty of bottled water, soup, epsom salt, Hyland's restfull legs, and ben-gay on hand for the next few days. I'm scared to death, scared of the pain, scared to fail, even a little bit scared to succeed seeing as how I LOVE the Norco! But I CANNOT fail! I cannot afford to keep up with this addiction financially any longer, and i am not willing to lose my home and stability for these stupid pills. As a nurse, I cannot afford to be found out and lose my job! I am the single mother of 3 with no child-support. If I lose my job, then I lose my livelyhood and my family will lose everything. Also, I work with children who have been damaged by and removed from mothers because of drug addictions. What kind of hypocrite am I??? (This will also make the question of aftercare a little sticky to work out, but I will). Anyways.....this will be my last night of sleep for a few days at least (I hope!) and then tomorrow I will start off pill-free. I am expecting the same symptoms as last week when I dropped from 6 to 3 tabs, only this time, i am prepared. Also, after reading posts all week, I feel encouraged, inspired and strenthened and I am resolved to getting this done! I am almost excited to be starting my journey towards sobriety! Almost..... I KNOW that I can do this, I'm just praying that it will not be as bad as I am imagining it will be. We will see.
HEY good news with the ins card and 6 days clean congrats your doing it one day at a time
I use a bunch of diffent stuff for aftercare but one of the most effective has been my substances abuse consolr Paul.....I have been seeing him weekly for almost 3 yrs he played a pivotal roll in helping get me off the methadone I also attend N/A from time to time and go to a bible study with 3 other recovering addicts in it so there are a lot of avenues you can take but out of town sound like a good plan for you although if you do run into somoe at a metting there there for the same reason ytou are so it usually not an issue let us know how this all pans out for you good luck and God bless....Gnarly
I use a bunch of diffent stuff for aftercare but one of the most effective has been my substances abuse consolr Paul.....I have been seeing him weekly for almost 3 yrs he played a pivotal roll in helping get me off the methadone I also attend N/A from time to time and go to a bible study with 3 other recovering addicts in it so there are a lot of avenues you can take but out of town sound like a good plan for you although if you do run into somoe at a metting there there for the same reason ytou are so it usually not an issue let us know how this all pans out for you good luck and God bless....Gnarly
Day 6 and still clean! I still have the residual headache though. Nothing a little ibuprofen and pseudofed can't cure! I did have a freind come over earlier, one that doesn't know about my problem, and she offered me a vic for my headache. Without even thinking, I automatically said "no thanks". After she left, I was so proud of myself. It might be time to let her in on things though, make sure she doesn't offer again.
More good news, I got my insurance cards in the mail today, so I can check into that out-patient therapy now. I've actually thought about going to Dallas/Ft. Worth for that, as its about a couple hours away and no chance of running into co-workers, bosses, patients or their parents..... It just depends on the net-work I guess.
Well, another good day under my belt. I'm feeling stronger every day, thank you Lord!
XXOOXX
More good news, I got my insurance cards in the mail today, so I can check into that out-patient therapy now. I've actually thought about going to Dallas/Ft. Worth for that, as its about a couple hours away and no chance of running into co-workers, bosses, patients or their parents..... It just depends on the net-work I guess.
Well, another good day under my belt. I'm feeling stronger every day, thank you Lord!
XXOOXX
@ gnarly- thanks for the kind words. as for mood swings and exhaustion, I've been pregnant twice in the last 3 years, so i'm VERY well acquainted with mood swings and no sleep! LOL! I've got that down pat!
@ atthebeach- LOL, It was YOU pointing out that I was waiting for the other shoe that made me realize what I was doing! That's why I got up and got out! Thanks for that, my kids thank you too! Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words. I never thought about at least getting the appointment set before-hand. Thanks, I will do that!
I hope your insomnia goes away. the rest of us have an excuse, you, poor thing don't deserve it! :)
God bless you both!
XXOOXX
@ atthebeach- LOL, It was YOU pointing out that I was waiting for the other shoe that made me realize what I was doing! That's why I got up and got out! Thanks for that, my kids thank you too! Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words. I never thought about at least getting the appointment set before-hand. Thanks, I will do that!
I hope your insomnia goes away. the rest of us have an excuse, you, poor thing don't deserve it! :)
God bless you both!
XXOOXX
hey i thought we already covered the sitting around and waiting for the really horrible withdrawals to come.it is the fear that was holding you. day 5 you are making it, you are past the physical symptoms. good for you going to the pool, hey live life, go for it.
i just re-read your first post from 5 days ago. you sound like a new woman. congratulations i am so happy for you and very proud of you. you are going to be just fine. you are fighting and you are winning. the LORD is on your side. excellent progress on getting health care. awesome. counseling appt sometimes take a few months to get so if you call just tell them you didnt get your card yet and you might still beable to make an appt. keep the faith. hey i am up at 1:21 am est ,cant sleep and i am not even detoxing. just bad insomnia.
still praying for you,
debbie
i just re-read your first post from 5 days ago. you sound like a new woman. congratulations i am so happy for you and very proud of you. you are going to be just fine. you are fighting and you are winning. the LORD is on your side. excellent progress on getting health care. awesome. counseling appt sometimes take a few months to get so if you call just tell them you didnt get your card yet and you might still beable to make an appt. keep the faith. hey i am up at 1:21 am est ,cant sleep and i am not even detoxing. just bad insomnia.
still praying for you,
debbie
HEY great news you broke threw to the other side now just be ready for yourv emotions to go wild for a wile it kinda part of coming off this stuff you will notice it a sad song will make you cry and you kinda overreact to things.......I sent a bunch of money to the children's shoe thing in Africa you may notice your a little tired try not to over do it but exersize helps
im happy for you your withdrawals where fairly mild you where one of the lucky ones
just keep it in your mind its not always ez it tends to get harder each time you go threw it so work the aftercare and you will be fine good luck with your recovery and God bless......Gnarly
im happy for you your withdrawals where fairly mild you where one of the lucky ones
just keep it in your mind its not always ez it tends to get harder each time you go threw it so work the aftercare and you will be fine good luck with your recovery and God bless......Gnarly
Day 5 and still on track! Wow! Never made it this far before! Other than this headache, I feel pretty good. it occured to me that although I have felt pretty good the past few days, I have been just sitting here waiting for it to get bad. I thought, "why the heck am i sitting here instead of not going and doing something fun since I feel good? If it gets bad, THEN I'll go home and feel poopy!" So, I took the kids out to the pool and had a great swim! In 110 degree weather, the pool was AWESOME!!!! Never did feel bad.:/
Started looking into some therapy/conseling. I now have insurance (a much better use of the $500/mo I WAS spending on pills!) and know that it covers out-patient rehab services, but I still haven't received my ins. card or list of in-network providers,so.........one thing at a time! I still haven't had any cravings.
this posting stuff really helps though. Even if nobody reads it, it feels good to get it out. Put it into words.
Thanks again to all of you guys. You have made this process so much more bearable than i could've imagined. I really owe you! :)
XXOOXX
Started looking into some therapy/conseling. I now have insurance (a much better use of the $500/mo I WAS spending on pills!) and know that it covers out-patient rehab services, but I still haven't received my ins. card or list of in-network providers,so.........one thing at a time! I still haven't had any cravings.
this posting stuff really helps though. Even if nobody reads it, it feels good to get it out. Put it into words.
Thanks again to all of you guys. You have made this process so much more bearable than i could've imagined. I really owe you! :)
XXOOXX
HI congrats on day 4 sounds like God showed up and did his thing on your withdrawals
I endured 8 1/2 mo of going in and out of withdrawals then a final withdrawal of aboyt 7 days but I broke a 16 1/2 yr habit with the last 6 1/2 being on methadone the demon drug....I just wanted to say your doing great but be ready for the mental part to kick in the cravings are very real if you get them prayer helps....but morso you need to now learn how to live without a high or mothers little helper as addicts we need to change the very way we think and reason to overcome our addictions as a nurse aftercare can be tricky but I still believe your covered uder the hipa law that they cannot release info to your employer most major heath ins has benefits for out pacent drug rehab therapy I wouldent go to the same hospital or clinic but go somewhere or drive to the next town over for an N/A meeting please dont skip this critical step you want to stay health now that your clean good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
I endured 8 1/2 mo of going in and out of withdrawals then a final withdrawal of aboyt 7 days but I broke a 16 1/2 yr habit with the last 6 1/2 being on methadone the demon drug....I just wanted to say your doing great but be ready for the mental part to kick in the cravings are very real if you get them prayer helps....but morso you need to now learn how to live without a high or mothers little helper as addicts we need to change the very way we think and reason to overcome our addictions as a nurse aftercare can be tricky but I still believe your covered uder the hipa law that they cannot release info to your employer most major heath ins has benefits for out pacent drug rehab therapy I wouldent go to the same hospital or clinic but go somewhere or drive to the next town over for an N/A meeting please dont skip this critical step you want to stay health now that your clean good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
Day 4 was a breeze! Other than this silly headache, I am not having anymore wd symptoms. I DO still get the flop-sweat every now and then, but hey, its 110 degrees outside! What can you do?!? And I have absolutely NO CRAVINGS!!! I can't believe how good I feel, being as 3 days ago I thought I was going to die! Once again, thanks to MH and all of you guys. I would've never made it through this if I hadn't found this forum! Only by the grace of God......
ps- I realize that I'm nowhere near done with this, just the part I was fearing the most!
ps- I realize that I'm nowhere near done with this, just the part I was fearing the most!
hey you are doing great. three days down and the rest of your life to live clean and sober.
" I KNOW that I can do this, I'm just praying that it will not be as bad as I am imagining it will be. We will see"...... it was fear of the unknown. fear can be crippling.
prayer changes things.
dont wait for the bottom to fall out. remember step by step,day by day, just take it as it comes,walk by faith and not by sight.
pray for peace like a river to flood your heart,mind,soul,emotions,spirit and body.
keep the faith.
debbie
" I KNOW that I can do this, I'm just praying that it will not be as bad as I am imagining it will be. We will see"...... it was fear of the unknown. fear can be crippling.
prayer changes things.
dont wait for the bottom to fall out. remember step by step,day by day, just take it as it comes,walk by faith and not by sight.
pray for peace like a river to flood your heart,mind,soul,emotions,spirit and body.
keep the faith.
debbie
3 days down! Feeling good. Some minor wd's, but no aches or pains, no crampy restless legs, and no cravings for the pills. All things that were horrible on day 1. I'm wary though, don't want to celebrate just yet, waiting for the bottom to fall out. This almost seems too easy......
Thanks for the link. Great song! That's exactly how i feel right now, that He has lifted this great weight and is carrying it for me. How did I deserve to be so blessed????
that is awesome. HE is so faithful. HE will carry you.
please listen to this song , be blessed. copy and paste
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi8tajO11SM
be blessed
debbie
please listen to this song , be blessed. copy and paste
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi8tajO11SM
be blessed
debbie
COMMUNITY LEADER
What a great post!! Yes, it is time to get going with aftercare. It will help you a ton!! sara
Last night i prayed to God like I have never prayed before. I laid my pain @ His feet and asked Him to carry this burden for me. Then I slept, not a great sleep, but almost 8 hours of sleep! That has NEVER happened before on day 1! I woke up this morning feeling awesome and for the first time, I know that I CAN DO THIS! I still have some wd symptoms, a little shakey and a little irritability, but they are very mild. Now, I know that this isnt over, not by a long shot, but I really do see a light at the end of this tunnel! God never ceases to amaze me with His strength and His love! The only thing i can say, is "WOW"!
Thank you to all. You will never know how much you have helped and inspire me to get this done! Now its time to start getting some aftercare set up! I will keep reading and posting. Again, thank you all so much!
Thank you to all. You will never know how much you have helped and inspire me to get this done! Now its time to start getting some aftercare set up! I will keep reading and posting. Again, thank you all so much!
step by step,day by day. the beginning of each journey starts with one step. you have stepped out in faith. you will be ok. keep fighting the good fight. good job on day 1. good for you burning all the bridges, that is a very big important step. keep moving, push the fluids, take advil is you need for your cramping.take hot showers. you got this girl.
keep the faith
sending hugs and blessings
debbie
keep the faith
sending hugs and blessings
debbie
Well, the first 24 hours is in the bag. I wish I could say that I am being strong or brave, but I'm not! If I had a pill, I would take it. But I dont and I've burned all bridges to get any, so thats not really an option, good thing. I can only pray that the next couple days goes by quickly. This is Hell.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. I woke up feeling pretty ok this morning. I did manage to sleep at least 8 hours last night and I'm really not bad. Thanks to Murphey and his silly, silly Law, aunt flo decided to show up this morning! (sorry-TMI) But I'm going to use that as something to focus on so that I'm not mentally consumed with the wd's. I've got my vitamins on board, I'm drinking lots of fluids, and plan to keep moving. That always seems to help the cramps anyways. So I'm feeling good about today. Tonight I may have a different opinion. But it has to be done. Thanks again for the support. I will keep posting.
Your not a hypocrite at all.Your actually very smart to know Its time to make this change for good for u,your kids&to makes sure u keep your career intact.Good luck anda because of your taper I dont think your detox will b too bad.good luck
Hi there. I have been reading these posts and wondering how much trouble I really am. I am about to start clinical rotations for nursing school and I have been taking 15-30 mg of OxyContin per day for chronic migraines and back pain. I have tried to quit "cold turkey" with the help of clonazepam and phenergan for nausea. I am so scared to tell a doctor or ANYONE, since I could get kicked out of school. I have never taken more than prescribed or tried to work or attend school while taking them. But, as I try to quit and continue to "relapse", I am scared that I won't be able to function either with OR without the meds as a nurse with a physically demanding job. If you have any helpful hints that would be most amazing. Congrats to you and I am glad you are on the right track. I am so jealous.
I don't think you're a hypocrite at all ! I was on here helping people when I had relapsed as it took me 4 times to stop ! I still wanted to warn and do what I could to stop people from being caught in the trap ! As far as you stopping , congratulations ! We are here to help as always .. Remember that getting clean is the easy part ! Staying clean is the trick ! So aftercare in my opinion is a must ! Stay here for one as a lot of us have been here for years and we are a pretty close community . Good luck to you ..Jimmy
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