Aa
Timed Med Dispensation
I'm looking for a way to dispense narcotic meds to my spouse in a daily, controlled manner. I've tried a 14 day round locking automatic dispenser, but it was made more for elderly people. My wife just broke it apart.
A little backstory -
I am prescribed 40mg of oxycodone (just the oxy, no tylenol component) daily, from the VA. I have taken this dose for about 10 years. I'm relatively responsible about it - I take only what I need to take the edge off pain, I never take it for pleasure, and I have built up a few months' stockpile of it by taking less than my prescribed dose. I stop taking it for at least a week or more every 4 months or less to monitor myself for signs of addiction. So far so good - I don't have withdrawal or any signs of addiction when I stop taking it (just more pain).
About 5 years ago, my wife started stealing my pills. At first it was just a few here and there, but it grew to 1/3 or 1/2 of each 240 pill prescription bottle. There was a bunch of confusion and blaming others when I first noticed - must have been the maid, the pharmacy must have screwed up, etc. In the end I caught her stealing and she confessed. Since then I lock all my pills up in a combination safe. Usually once a month I'll leave some pills in one of my pockets (I carry around a bag with 20 or fewer pills), and she usually steals them if given the opportunity. Our relationship takes quite a hit every time this happens.
My wife has a loose joint syndrome (ehlers-danlos) which causes her pain. She has been prescribed increasing amounts of hydrocodone and oxycontin over the last 4 years or so - I think her joints started getting bad about the time she began stealing from me, or vice versa. Currently she takes 120mg (40x3) oxycontin daily. Every month for as long as I can remember, there is something that happens which causes her to run out early (she takes too much because she had a toothache, the doctor screwed the prescription up, the pharmacy screwed up, etc.). The real reason is that she overuses, takes more than she is prescribed. I am continually forced to augment her supply with my pills. When I say forced, what I mean is that she becomes violent, abusive (to me and the kids), and destructive (to herself and objects or things around her) when she want pills and I tell her no. She'll do things like down whole bottles of her anti-depression meds, or whole bottles of other things.
She just blew through a 90 pill, 14 day supply of Percoset in 3 days. That's more than twice the amount of acetaminophen she should have. bleh... this is getting long winded.
Long story short - She will soon have another 30 day supply (60 pills) of Oxycontin. I have to work out of town for the entire period. I want to make sure her pills are in a secure location, where she doesn't have the ability to overuse, and is instead limited to the amount I give.
Any suggestions for an automated dispenser like this?
A little backstory -
I am prescribed 40mg of oxycodone (just the oxy, no tylenol component) daily, from the VA. I have taken this dose for about 10 years. I'm relatively responsible about it - I take only what I need to take the edge off pain, I never take it for pleasure, and I have built up a few months' stockpile of it by taking less than my prescribed dose. I stop taking it for at least a week or more every 4 months or less to monitor myself for signs of addiction. So far so good - I don't have withdrawal or any signs of addiction when I stop taking it (just more pain).
About 5 years ago, my wife started stealing my pills. At first it was just a few here and there, but it grew to 1/3 or 1/2 of each 240 pill prescription bottle. There was a bunch of confusion and blaming others when I first noticed - must have been the maid, the pharmacy must have screwed up, etc. In the end I caught her stealing and she confessed. Since then I lock all my pills up in a combination safe. Usually once a month I'll leave some pills in one of my pockets (I carry around a bag with 20 or fewer pills), and she usually steals them if given the opportunity. Our relationship takes quite a hit every time this happens.
My wife has a loose joint syndrome (ehlers-danlos) which causes her pain. She has been prescribed increasing amounts of hydrocodone and oxycontin over the last 4 years or so - I think her joints started getting bad about the time she began stealing from me, or vice versa. Currently she takes 120mg (40x3) oxycontin daily. Every month for as long as I can remember, there is something that happens which causes her to run out early (she takes too much because she had a toothache, the doctor screwed the prescription up, the pharmacy screwed up, etc.). The real reason is that she overuses, takes more than she is prescribed. I am continually forced to augment her supply with my pills. When I say forced, what I mean is that she becomes violent, abusive (to me and the kids), and destructive (to herself and objects or things around her) when she want pills and I tell her no. She'll do things like down whole bottles of her anti-depression meds, or whole bottles of other things.
She just blew through a 90 pill, 14 day supply of Percoset in 3 days. That's more than twice the amount of acetaminophen she should have. bleh... this is getting long winded.
Long story short - She will soon have another 30 day supply (60 pills) of Oxycontin. I have to work out of town for the entire period. I want to make sure her pills are in a secure location, where she doesn't have the ability to overuse, and is instead limited to the amount I give.
Any suggestions for an automated dispenser like this?
Although we don't know her personally, in most cases it is the addiction that is responsible for the behavior. I lied and stole from my husband when I was in active addiction, and that is not who I am. It will be very important for your wife to seek aftercare if she does get clean, it was vital to my recovery. Honesty, sometimes brutal honesty, with others, and especially ourselves is key. It is not easy, by any means, but once the secret was out, it was such a huge burden off of me to be able to tell the truth, not have to hide and lie anymore. Addiction was like prison to me, I couldn't think of anything but pills, I couldn't make plans or enjoy a vacation, for fear of running out and being violently ill. I rationalized all my bad behavior, and the line I would never cross kept moving, until I no longer recognized myself. I am so sorry for our spouses and families, I think it is much harder on them, to have to watch us destroy ourselves. My husband finally took a hard line with me, and I chose treatment over losing my family, and when that decision was made, I can't tell you the sense of relief at not having to use anymore. You may also have to lay down some bottom lines for her, or she will continue to use, if there are not serious consequences. Again, I wish you the absolute best.
Allison
Allison
I am prescribed 8 oxy pills a day. She doesn't have any of her own right now, so I gave her 6 of my 8 pills today - then I left my little pill bag out, and she stole another 2 pills. This was after I took her out today to a nice $120 lunch, just because she wanted to go out.
Her reasoning for stealing them from me is that if she asked me for 2 more pills, I would just say no.
WTF? We've been married for over 10 years, and I should be able to trust her - but she repeatedly steals from me. Even after I give her 3/4 of what I have, she steals the rest.
If she does manage to kick the habit, will this behavior stop? Phrased another way - is her addiction to narcotics making her do this, or is that just the kind of person she is?
Her reasoning for stealing them from me is that if she asked me for 2 more pills, I would just say no.
WTF? We've been married for over 10 years, and I should be able to trust her - but she repeatedly steals from me. Even after I give her 3/4 of what I have, she steals the rest.
If she does manage to kick the habit, will this behavior stop? Phrased another way - is her addiction to narcotics making her do this, or is that just the kind of person she is?
I have to agree with the suggestion of inpatient treatment, if that is at all possible. I went and it was the very best thing that ever happened to me. And as far as the meetings go, unless it is a closed meeting, loved ones are absolutely welcome. My husband has gone with me, but definitely look into your own support group, it will help you deal with all this, no matter which direction she takes, sobriety or active addiction. Take care of yourself, you shouldn't have to be her jailer, so to speak, it must be so much stress on you. I know I put my husband through hell, and we are still working on healing those scars.
Allison
Allison
Naranon is for the loved ones, NA is for the addict. I'm glad she admitted she has a problem, there's a LOT of work that needs done. Do you think she would consider an inpatient program to detox and start some intensive addiction therapy?
You need the alanon for yourself...you each have to work your own part of her recovery. I hope things start to improve, keep us updated!
You need the alanon for yourself...you each have to work your own part of her recovery. I hope things start to improve, keep us updated!
VICourageous - thanks for the advice. I posted another thread to get some info on non-narcotic pain management methods for myself. I use my pain pills to keep me walking and able to do my job. If I can find something else to do that reasonably well, I'll stop getting my narcotics.
Nursegirl - thanks for the advice. Things came to a head today after another episode of destructive crazy (because I would only give her 2 pills and not 4). She did finally admit that she has a problem, and she looked into a local naranon meeting. She says going to her first meeting tomorrow.
You say I should go also. Should I go with her, or go on my own? I asked her if I could go with her, and she quickly told me that the rules prevent that. I'm not sure if she's being truthful or playing another game... Time will tell.
Nursegirl - thanks for the advice. Things came to a head today after another episode of destructive crazy (because I would only give her 2 pills and not 4). She did finally admit that she has a problem, and she looked into a local naranon meeting. She says going to her first meeting tomorrow.
You say I should go also. Should I go with her, or go on my own? I asked her if I could go with her, and she quickly told me that the rules prevent that. I'm not sure if she's being truthful or playing another game... Time will tell.
Does Your Wife realize she now has become addicted?? It will only get worse. Can you see if she will go into a Treatment Center?? The only hard thing would be if she goes and comes clean she has to change people, places and things that can cause triggers to use. Unfortunately YOU being on them is going to be a big Trigger for her..Her tape in the Brain will play the "I need one for this or that" or "Just one that's it" on and on & over and over..This Addiction is a serious disease that needs to be addressed every single minute of the day. If she can get clean and work on aftercare could you stop taking your pills too and both of you find other natural methods for pain?
I sure do send Prays out to the Family, because this is very serious.
Bless
I sure do send Prays out to the Family, because this is very serious.
Bless
When I say forced, what I mean is that she becomes violent, abusive (to me and the kids), and destructive (to herself and objects or things around her) when she want pills and I tell her no. She'll do things like down whole bottles of her anti-depression meds, or whole bottles of other things.
This is the MOST important part of this whole situation. Leaving her alone with those kids while you're out of town isn't something you should be comfortable with. This is a BAD situation.
I'm fearful for you and your kids.
This is the MOST important part of this whole situation. Leaving her alone with those kids while you're out of town isn't something you should be comfortable with. This is a BAD situation.
I'm fearful for you and your kids.
Oh boy.
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.
Understand that no "system" you come up with is going to work. Your wife is an addict, and has proven that she will do a lot of things to get those pills, including acting in an abusive and dangerous way around you and the kids. That is NOT acceptable and you must do something to change your situation ASAP.
God love you, I know you're just trying to help her, but in reality, you're not helping her at all, you're just helping her use. You must protect your children. Your wife needs some serious addiction help, from professionals.
My advice to you is to get VERY tough...leaving or kicking her out if you have to. Again, the children must be the priority. Nothing is going to change if she's not made to face some big consequences (like losing access to you and the kids). You also need to start going to alanon or naranon meetings...to learn about enabling and codependency...both which are clearly an issue here.
Please do whatever you have to to get those innocent children out of that volatile, unhealthy environment. Every time your wife acts out as you've described, that affects the kids a little more.
Prayers for you, you're in my thoughts. Please update us!
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.
Understand that no "system" you come up with is going to work. Your wife is an addict, and has proven that she will do a lot of things to get those pills, including acting in an abusive and dangerous way around you and the kids. That is NOT acceptable and you must do something to change your situation ASAP.
God love you, I know you're just trying to help her, but in reality, you're not helping her at all, you're just helping her use. You must protect your children. Your wife needs some serious addiction help, from professionals.
My advice to you is to get VERY tough...leaving or kicking her out if you have to. Again, the children must be the priority. Nothing is going to change if she's not made to face some big consequences (like losing access to you and the kids). You also need to start going to alanon or naranon meetings...to learn about enabling and codependency...both which are clearly an issue here.
Please do whatever you have to to get those innocent children out of that volatile, unhealthy environment. Every time your wife acts out as you've described, that affects the kids a little more.
Prayers for you, you're in my thoughts. Please update us!
"I'm looking for a way to dispense narcotic meds to my spouse in a daily, controlled manner."
I don't think that can be done with an adult outside a hospital setting. Your wife is out of control and you can't control her.
Take your pills with you. You can't buy a safe she can't break into (the internet is full of instructions).
Be prepared to deal with her wrath when you get back.
Understand that she's big girl and has to deal with this big girl problem.
Maybe have her come here and read posts if she needs support.
Whatever happens, good luck to you and her both.
.
I don't think that can be done with an adult outside a hospital setting. Your wife is out of control and you can't control her.
Take your pills with you. You can't buy a safe she can't break into (the internet is full of instructions).
Be prepared to deal with her wrath when you get back.
Understand that she's big girl and has to deal with this big girl problem.
Maybe have her come here and read posts if she needs support.
Whatever happens, good luck to you and her both.
.
I hate to tell you that there isnt much that can be done I was the same way stealing my wifes pills but im 30 days clean today... so yeah the only way if you go out of town is leave her with what you well... and take the rest with you might not be convient or anything else but most addicts well find a way in to anything if they really want the pills I hate to tell you that but thats what I've seen/been through .... and is there anyone the kids can go to near by if she does run out and get abusive?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
