To All of My Fellow Addicts on Oxycontin......PLEASE READ!

[happytoday]

For nine months I was abusing oxys. In the end, right up until the the time my wife drove me to the treatment center, I was crushing a 20mg oxy every other hour, needless to say, my wife only thought that I was losing my mind! I had tried for almost two days to cut myself off cold turkey, because I am an addict, the taper method did not work for me. Instead, my disease, and my sickness progressed to the point where my life was in danger. Anyone who is crushing a time released tablet and getting the full strength at once is putting a life at risk.

I had to pick up after two days, until I was admitted to the treatment center where I was detoxed in 72 hours. NO! It was not an easy thing to do to pick up a phone and call a treatment center and beg for help! NO! It was not easy telling my two daughters ages 19 and 26 that I , there Father, was  abusing Oxycontin, NO! Its was not easy telling my wife that I relapsed into my addiction for about the fifth time in five years on opiates!
  
I was detoxed on the following meds: Darvocet,Catapress,Robaxin, and finally Phenobarbital. Please hear me when I say it was totally physically painless! But understand also that I was physically, spiritually, and mentally beaten when I arrived at the treatment center. The most important thing is that they took my vitals every four hours!

A miracle happened this morning, a week later, I got out of bed without taking a drug, and feel pretty human....see you all in Narcotics Anonymous!

[jerri 1]

Great post! That stuff ruled my life too!! 27 days clean this round and feelin great!!  take care my friend..                   Jerri

[straightjacket]

how are you my friend ,hope all is well ,be strong.

[unpilled1]

Greg, Man everytime you post, it's so powerful for me. I really appreciate reading your experience, strength & hope - helps to keep me clean. At 31 days now & just clear-headed enough to start having those wicked craving/ using thoughts. I NEVER want to go through that hell again  - the efforts it took to get pills, hide them, lie about them, worry about getting caught at home, at work, in an accident, worry about running out, worry about how to get more, fear of withdrawal, etc ... Whew! am I glad to be free of those demons. NA/AA group has been great, too! Just want you to know I'm doing well & hanging in there. I really appreciate you sharing, Greg.
All the Best to you,
-Unpilled

[saveyourself]

Greetings,

I went trough WD from methadone, after a year long heroin habit in 1987.  It was the worst six months of my life.  I did not sleep for 21 days,  I was in a treatment facility, at night I just would sit under a hot shower all night long.

After 30 days, I was free and got heavily involved in NA.  The chills, cramps, muscle aches did not start to go away until the fourth month.  Then they subsided even though the would flare up. what a price to pay.  Now understand I was totally opiate free and drug free.  What was really weird, around month nine, wham, I got hit with two days of serious WD.  Thank God for the Na support, same thing happened in month 11.  Then FREEDOM for 7 years in NA,  relapsed on alcohol and pills. Now back where I started, it feels like being home again and I love the freedom from active addiction.

I wish you the best and keep posting.  You can get through this, I could never taper, if pills are around I will use and abuse until there gone.  It take s great courage and determination to admit we are powerless against our addiction.  We can justify the lie of the pill for way to long.  Oxys kicked in WD like I haven't had for 20 years.
Strength and Honor
Greg

[Linco]

The forum woudn't let me post today so I read somewhere to just "jump in".  I have been reading your wonderful posts for months and they have kept me from getting worse but I want to get better.  My question is this:  Does anyone know the relative strengths of Oxycontin, Vicodin 7.5, Percocet 5, Tylenol 4, Darvocet 100 and Ultram 50.  Given access to most of these, I would like to find out the best way to taper from Vicodin 7.5 (5 or so per day).  This is a long-time thing for me and I'm at a sticking point.  I will use Thomas's recipe but know that I must continue some sort of pain meds for the taper.  Sorry I couldn't post this as a question but something must be wrong today since I see nothing new.  I'm an older lady whose really hurting.  Thank you all for your support!!

[unpilled1]

Welcome to the forum. You have taken such a Major step by posting and wanting to be free of hydrocodone hell. The next step is to being WILLING to go through the process of getting off & staying off. I'm not sure how to interpret the first part of your question about the relative strengths of those drugs. If you've been currently using Vicodin & not the others - I would suggest tapering on the same thing. I don't know any reason for wanting or needing to change to another drug. The main rule I've read here is "the lower the dose (in tapering) the slower the taper" down to the next level. Also, are you now DOWN to 5 per day or have you sustained taking 5 a day for some time? If you've been on the 5 a day for some time, I'd go ahead to 4 per day. This is how I did it: Plan the taper over a month (30 days)-{note: the Thomas recipe is designed for cold turkey withdrawal, not for during the tapering) Anyway, something like this: 4 per day for 3 days, then 3 per day for 6 days, then 2 per day for 9 days, then 1 pill per day for 12 days = 30 days of gradual taper (need 60 pills to do this regimen). Others may have a better game plan for you - but that's how I did it and took the last 1 pill on Sunday, Jan 5th. I'm now 31 days free of vicodin - and feeling great!
Keep posting & ask for any help you need. Stay determined and don't stop trying, even if you don't stay on the taper schedule...just regroup and go forward; the rewards and freedom are WONDERFUL!
Take care of yourself & KNOW that you CAN do this!

[afriend]

Hey bud, keep tour chin up, the relapes is all part or trying. Look at all the great people here (and in the world) that have tried something then failed, came back, and conquered. I'm always honest and open about my drug use/abuse on this forum but I made the mistake of being honest with (my) Dr.,now he treats me like a piece of human waiste that is not worthy of any type of medication again.(long story) My point being is that if you can do this alone, and not have it follow your med. history around from office to office, do it. (ive heard this from others also).It changes the way (some) Drs treat you. This may not be your case and if you prefer to get medical help for this, than do so! Remeber everyones different, and detox (when and anyway) that YOU feel comfortable. Hey, lisabet is Kind, wonderful and wise, listen and post to her, she's great support and has a special way about her. I want to thank her for a very kind and loving post to me! My very best to you Gman, you sound very sincere and you will win your quest to be clean. I'd like to add some things but the ONE finger that I type with is tired and slow, ha. ha. Have a great day, talk soon? (smile dude)......a friend...P.S. Be very careful with benzos (zanax,valiun,ect.) long term use and sudden withdrawal can be fatal, unlike opiates.

[Wardman]

My doctor noticed big time I was fidgety, hence the reason he gave me the vicodin.  It was very noticeable and felt awful. He also gave me xanax.  So I think I will try the Thomas recipe.  I did have some pretty rough times with xanax after a tonsilectomy three years ago.  I was never addicted, never had an allure, never took it in the daytime, but I took one 1mg pill just about every night for about 6 months.  I stopped cold turkey and had a hell of 4 days!   So I am just gonna use it for the recipe.  I can not believe I have a healthy liver after all the pill comsumption. I am really lucky and I take it as a sign that I must quit soon.  Anyway, I am always honest... I will let you know when I try again.
God bless

G

[lisabet]

Hey G - Don't beat yourself up about the relaspe - Jesus, we've all done it.  Maybe you could try to taper with this refill; also, you won't feel panicky because you know you have them "in house".  I think just knowing you don't have the meds are enough in some peoples lifes to just send you into a "tailspin"...smile.   (Yes, I'm speaking of myself)... :)  Take care - keep posting. Love, Lisabet

[Wardman]

Again the thread I posted on is gone.  Just to update.. I relapsed after a day an a half. I may go get professional help.  I can not do this alone.  I want to thank each and everyone of you for your great support.  That is the reason I stay here.  I will keep you upcated.  It's just my pride and embarrassment that is stopping me from getting outdside inervention.  All I need to do is make it to day three and then I feel better.

[Wardman]

Thanks J.E.W!  Yes I have quit a few times before and I am definitely much better by day 11  and noticeably better after day 4.  Today was a horrible day.  I woke up after catnpping and taking 10 baths.  I was  sooooo antsy and fidgety.  I was tired but yet couldn;t sit still.  I can get through this. I DO KNOW that aftert being clean for a time is soo much better!  I am also blessed that after a few weeks, I don't even battle teh mental demons that alot of you do.  I feel better and my mind is clearer. I always get sad that people think there is no hope  always an addict.  I don't necessarily believe that mentally.  for example, Nicotine is a powerful drug.  I quit smoking 15 years ago. ( Yes, granted I was only 17, I was smoking 3-4 packs a day!)  I may never be able to have a cigarette again, but I DO NOT ever crave it. so mentally I fell happy.  I am hoping I will get the way with vicodin or other narcotics.  I was like taht in 1997, after one month, no cravings adn I even had a full bottle of percocets in my possession.  Bottom line I do think there is hope for all of us and by I get upset when people say it's a lifetime struggle.  Please don't think that way.  Change your lifestyles. I know I am in  position to preach as I just relapsed after 36 hours.  
   I also had blood work three months ago and I need to quit.  I am sooooo lucky mly liver counts are perfect after abusing all this tylenol.  God is telling me to get my life in order and I need support.  My big secret is no longer healthy.   Again, God or whoever you want bless you...I know how alot of you feel at times.  And as a lurker since 2001  I wish I had posted more.

[J. E. W.]

I know what you mean about the mental part. I dont really have the cravings anymore either. I didnt get depressed. But Im still antsy. I do sleep alot better. but during the day I feel like I took an upper or something. I cant sit still for very long I have to keep busy.I wonder how long it lasts.I know people who pay to feel this way,if I could get rid of it I would.  You take care my friend.,God bless you...   J.E.W.

[J. E. W.]

Dont be hard on yourself or get depreesed. Just pick yourself up and try again.You can do this.I went ct. on 1/10/03.I dont know how many days ago that was cause I quit counting! But it gets better everyday. This is my 3rd. go round and hopefully my last. They took off the thread about shooting up I guess so maybe thats where you posted last. Just dont give up my friend theres lots of wonderful people here to help you.. If I can help in any way please let me know.     Bless you...     J.E.W.

[lisabet]

hey G - You sound a lot better today; I see a glimmer of hope in your attitude now.  You can do it, baby. Just hang in there. You've done it before so you know what waits on the other side. Just keep posting - it helps so much; I know the difference it made in my life - the people on this forum understand, having experiencing it past or present.  Look past the argumentive posts so prevalent as in the past few days; focus on the good people here who really want to help; there is a treasure chest full of wisdom here - search the archives as well as reading recent posts.  Don't give up!  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[Wardman]

Thanks lisabet....I did relapse after 36 hours, you might have missed that post!  Anyway. I will try again soon and I will let you guys know.  I almost told my doctor today and I should have .  I think he already knows.  He gave me vicodin and told me that I need to be aware and use them to help me.  I was SOOOOOO restless and fidgety today.  It was the first time I couldn't literally sit still.  I will tray again this week again to quit.  I also had quit caffeine on Saturday.  I had THE worst headache today that the Vidodin ES did'nt even help. I broke down and had one coke.

[freezing]

Hello Save:

Please help me out and tell me more about your methadone w/d's.  I have gone through four months of freezing, back sensations like fingernails on a chalkboard, depression, etc. (rapid detoxed off of 100mg).  Did you experience similar?  I am on prescription fentanyl duragesic for degenerated disks (cervical), and the w/d's continue right through!!  Thanks for your insights/experiences.  Well wishes. -freezing.
(Fellow Oxyers: Oxycontin was horrible for me.  It was just a thrice daily depression/constipation pill.  No pleasure from it.  At least the fentanyl does not give me those side effects, although it's not helping the pain either.)  My struggle/fear is over not increasing, which I feel very inclined to do right now.  I am hoping if I make it through another two months, I can start on Subutex and taper off.  I can't taper till I get throught this methadone.  Do you think the methadone is still my primary problem?  Thanks again.

[J. E. W.]

Hope your doing good. I havent heard from you un a couple of days. My e`mail is still crazy sometimes so I dont know if you tried or not. Take care my friend, God Bless...    J.E.W.

[saveyourself]

Greetings,

I am glad for you that you did not go for the RAPID DETOX,  it is dangerous and it is done by an industry only interested in profits and could care less of your long term recovery.  Meeting makers make it, I to had 7 years clean time in NA, got successful, thought I could drink and found out alcohol is a drug period.

Oxys are the closest thing to methadone WD I have ever been through.  In 1987, I CT off of 120mgs of methadone and WD lasted 6 months.  Anyways, glad you got your game plan, it took me 4 years to get back to NA, it is the only recovery process that has worked for me.  It is good to be home again.

Taking my daughter to see Lord of the Rings, so I am out.
Strength and Honor
Greg

[unpilled1]

hey Greg, thanks for your post. I am doing well. I am going to NA/AA group meetings 4-5 days/week & really getting involved there + learning ALOT. I'm working on getting a sponsor there & have met with a couple of people about this part of my recovery program. Thanks for your encouragement & help. Made my day!

[happytoday]

First, let me say that I am one of the fortunate people who knows how a year or two clean in Narcotics Anonymous feels - I've been there. That is my hope for today. No, I do not feel 100%, it may be months before I am able to feel 100% physically fine. However, in Narcotics Anonymous, I am leaning on others who can share their experience, strength, and hopes. It is true that one addict helping another is very therapeutic and relieves my pain. Just as my post has comforted someone I am sure. I have been to five meetings in three days, I've cried, and its helped. My family and I are now involved in a Family Program every Saturday for three weeks at the treatment center. However, it took this terrible relapse, and three years of relapsing to truly open everyone's eyes!

THIS WAS NOT RAPID DETOX!!!! I strongly feel that rapid detox is "BS". And so do most of the medical professionals at the detox unit I was in. Sure I feel like I could use some Methadone right now to relief some of my physical and mental pain, however I choose to take 600mgs of Motrin and attend meetings...it really works! Getting these medications from your doctor and detoxing yourself is the same as you trying to taper off of oxys yourself....do not be foolish! Get into a treatment center where they use this method or another "sane" approach where your vitals can be taken every four hours...and they will come looking for you, believe me! Let someone qualified administer your meds!

Please remember that normally it takes 72 hours for any chemicals to detox from your body. Naturally, after that you might not feel too great. However, this is life, and we don't always feel great! It may take months until we are fully feeling well.....one day at a time!

When I came home from detox a couple of days ago, I could hardly unpack my bags. Today, I went out to breakfast with my wife followed by a beautiful ride in the country and am feeling a bit better each day!THERE IS HOPE!

May god bless us all!

[Esmith28]

Sooo proud of you, you faced your demon, adnitted it, asked for hel;p and went through with it...have you ever tried NA before? I wish you the very best life has to offer clean, driving down the road feeling at peace instead of paniced, loving your wife and she loving you and your not feeling guilty, looking in your girls eyes and NOT feeling disappointed anymore, knowing your higher power and feeling at one with him. I pray you will think before you pickup again, instead pick up the phone and get help before you take anything again...God Bless you!! Thank youf or coming and haring your story with us!!

[saveyourself]

Greetings,

hap- I to came from a pretty serious oxy and perc habit, I take it you went through rapid detox, were you are under anesthesia and monitered by trained medical staff or awake and on the meds you mentioned.  You are one of the lucky ones and you are right to be getting into NA immediately.  It will be a huge support for when the desire to use hits you.  Trust me, it will.  Among a number of concerns with rapid detox are the statistics for relapse.  As an addict, the pain of WD is a motivator not to use, I to go to NA, have sponser and am in the process of recovery.  I am glad your WD were not to bad.  Mine were weeks of pure hell. It takes alot of courage to face and beat the lie of the pills. look forward to hearing about you getting your life back. Congrats to you for what you are doing for you and your family.

unpilled- How are you doing, see how it works, one addict helping another is without paralell.  You are sounding great.  Are you going to any outside support groups.  Cyberspace recovery is great, yet the real rewards come from being in peoples lives and reality.  You are doing awesome and I am sure God has some great plans for you as you continue to recover.
Strength and Honor
Greg

[freezing]

Wow.  It is great to hear a story like that.  I think I will try your doctors recipe if my addiction doctor will follow it.


My problems are that after detox, for a month or more, I am totally depressed, and I get freezing chills (four months now), and my mind is totally distracted by constant w/d feelings.  Maybe it's b/c it was methadone.  I don't know, but I am still really scared.  I have been put back on a pain regimen, not abusing, not exceeding prescription, but still constant w/d's! Continued good luck to you and all. - freezing

[unpilled1]

what an ordeal you went through. glad you are feeling so much better so soon. i'm 28 days clean today & feeling good. I too have had multiple relapses and really want to focus on staying clean now. I don't think I have another withdrawal hell left in me. Would like to hear why you believe you relapsed 5 times in 5 years & how you plan to address staying clean this time? Hang in there!