Aa
To everyone
Hey everyone.. This is my second time postig. Im not to good at this kind a thing, so here I go. Been clean 23 days and no opiates. I work in a professional job so Im here every other day to catch up on the forum. My heart goes out to everybody detoxing. Ive been putting quiting in my head for months and did it. This forum and all U people contributed. When I got the urge I went to the forum and read everyones story, thats what saved me. Just wanted to write a little something this mornin. Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel.... AS
I trully am choked right now!
Lifes to good to check out or stop trying to win my life back.
I'm a LUCKY LUCKY man in that I haven't lost everything and actually have a family that wants the best for me a knows that it can happen, but I'm also a LUCKY LUCKY man in that someone heard me! Thank you WW
PEACE OUT
mickytim
Lifes to good to check out or stop trying to win my life back.
I'm a LUCKY LUCKY man in that I haven't lost everything and actually have a family that wants the best for me a knows that it can happen, but I'm also a LUCKY LUCKY man in that someone heard me! Thank you WW
PEACE OUT
mickytim
Hi there...thank you for that beautiful, honest post. I can relate completely to how you are feeling. I recently got to the point where my craving to have my life back finally got stronger than my craving for the hydrocodone, and though I'm still in the infancy of my clean time, it is feeling pretty darn good to know that I am on the way to getting my life back.
I too had back surgery, though not nearly as extensive as yours. I am finding that now that I am off the pain meds, my back pain is lower than it was when I was taking them. I can't figure it out, but that is the case.
For a long time I tried to fight my addiction by taking the meds for pain without abusing them, but I lost that battle too many times, so decided to just stop. I'm not sure if that is an option for you, it sounds like you are in a lot of pain still. Just try to be honest and gentle with yourself, and know that from now on, you have us here to connect with while you walk the path to getting your Self back again.
Please keep posting...we all benefit from each and every post!
I remember the surprise at finding this place, full of compassionate, non judgemental people who understood and would speak truth without condemnation...it blew my mind, and still does!
love,
WW
I too had back surgery, though not nearly as extensive as yours. I am finding that now that I am off the pain meds, my back pain is lower than it was when I was taking them. I can't figure it out, but that is the case.
For a long time I tried to fight my addiction by taking the meds for pain without abusing them, but I lost that battle too many times, so decided to just stop. I'm not sure if that is an option for you, it sounds like you are in a lot of pain still. Just try to be honest and gentle with yourself, and know that from now on, you have us here to connect with while you walk the path to getting your Self back again.
Please keep posting...we all benefit from each and every post!
I remember the surprise at finding this place, full of compassionate, non judgemental people who understood and would speak truth without condemnation...it blew my mind, and still does!
love,
WW
Thanks for the welcome and I guess my virginity is now gone but not for gotten.
I just want to say that I have been following these posts for sometime and have felt so ashamed of myself and then, see real people, who care are just like me, who have tried and failed but keep on trying.
You see I to have tried and failed 5 times, in 5 months, to get off Dr. precribed pain meds (40mgs oxy 3xs aday and 10 percs) aday for 3 years cold turkey because even the Dr's did not think it's in my best interst to do so ( get off meds ), because after a successfull 1st surgury, the phsy theropist thought she knew more than the Dr, and shattered my fusion L5 S1. 3 emergancy surgury's later.
After 3 years I want my life back! I feel it's time and I feel the strength mainly because of you people on this page.
Everytime I feel I have failed in the past months I see I'm not alone, that there are more people out there just like me. There are poeple who want there lifes back and are not going to stop even though we feel ashammed and like **** in front of our freinds and families knowing that there is this secert.
10 days totally clean cold turkey , stopped the oxys 1st month, the failures mainly from percs because I will always be in some pain but I belive that I can change this like you all.
Thank you all for your caring for each other, your sharing your stories and pouring your hearts out, I see I'm not alone, I'm not the only one, And there is someone other than the theropist who think they know it all and can relate to someone who has pain and depression.
My tears cannot hide my pain any longer and yes I'm a guy. So thanks so much for being there, I will not give up, just like you all
I just want to say that I have been following these posts for sometime and have felt so ashamed of myself and then, see real people, who care are just like me, who have tried and failed but keep on trying.
You see I to have tried and failed 5 times, in 5 months, to get off Dr. precribed pain meds (40mgs oxy 3xs aday and 10 percs) aday for 3 years cold turkey because even the Dr's did not think it's in my best interst to do so ( get off meds ), because after a successfull 1st surgury, the phsy theropist thought she knew more than the Dr, and shattered my fusion L5 S1. 3 emergancy surgury's later.
After 3 years I want my life back! I feel it's time and I feel the strength mainly because of you people on this page.
Everytime I feel I have failed in the past months I see I'm not alone, that there are more people out there just like me. There are poeple who want there lifes back and are not going to stop even though we feel ashammed and like **** in front of our freinds and families knowing that there is this secert.
10 days totally clean cold turkey , stopped the oxys 1st month, the failures mainly from percs because I will always be in some pain but I belive that I can change this like you all.
Thank you all for your caring for each other, your sharing your stories and pouring your hearts out, I see I'm not alone, I'm not the only one, And there is someone other than the theropist who think they know it all and can relate to someone who has pain and depression.
My tears cannot hide my pain any longer and yes I'm a guy. So thanks so much for being there, I will not give up, just like you all
Hi Milo, This time I know I've got you right. I didn't know you suffered from IBS . I have been through so many scopes trying to determine what i have. A few years ago the doc said it was IBS.But mine was there morning , noon and night. Not just from stress. So I would be sent to another doc. It's IBD. As you know is Inflammatory Bowel Disese. The difference is stress has no affect on it. Yet another doc says now it's Colitis. Basically,IBD. I have done all the meds you can think of. Now I'm on ASACOL 400 mg.2-3x day; metronidazole 250 mg.1 every 8 hrs.
Then the lovely enemas. 1 Metronidazole enema every night for 28 nights. Folic Acid 1 a day. I've been on this regimine one week and there's no difference.
I have severe pain and cramping and diahrea 10 to 20 times a day. Do you have pain and cramping. Sometimes I curl up and cry. It's that bad. We want to go to Florida this week-end but this is my delima. I can't eat for fear I won't be able to find a restroom quick enough and often enough. We' be going to my siters and she has one restroom. Then we'll go to our family reunion where all this great food is. I can't eat. That's not the bad part, it's the questions,"Why aren't you eating dear".
I didn't want to write a book but your the first one I've known with this and just needed someone to connect to.Thanks for listening.
God Bless, Kerrie
Then the lovely enemas. 1 Metronidazole enema every night for 28 nights. Folic Acid 1 a day. I've been on this regimine one week and there's no difference.
I have severe pain and cramping and diahrea 10 to 20 times a day. Do you have pain and cramping. Sometimes I curl up and cry. It's that bad. We want to go to Florida this week-end but this is my delima. I can't eat for fear I won't be able to find a restroom quick enough and often enough. We' be going to my siters and she has one restroom. Then we'll go to our family reunion where all this great food is. I can't eat. That's not the bad part, it's the questions,"Why aren't you eating dear".
I didn't want to write a book but your the first one I've known with this and just needed someone to connect to.Thanks for listening.
God Bless, Kerrie
Hi Kerrie,
I'm so glad you wrote -- like I said to Jules, it's such a relief to get to talk about this stuff with someone who can relate. Bless your heart, you've had a much rougher time of it than I have, with the inflammation and all. But the food and bathroom business -- oh, can I relate to that! My predominant symptoms are diarrhea, cramps, and nausea, but I've had some form of functional GI disorder pretty much all my life. Do you just feel like you're drained of all energy? I spent nearly a year essentially dragging myself to work and back home, weak, not wanting to eat, not wanting to leave the house...the IBS and depression became self-perpetuating, I think. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're having to go through so much unpleasant treatment and that you haven't found relief yet. I hope there are other meds they can try? I don't know much about the treatment of IBD. I have responded pretty well in recent months to an intricate combination of acid blockers, antidepressants, antianxiety meds, Metamucil, and "friendly bacteria" supplements.
Re visiting friends, family dinners, etc...The friends I visit or travel with just know to expect that I may disappear into the bathroom any time and for any length of time. It's inevitable, but I've found my friends to be very cool about it. I just tell them I'm having "stomach troubles" so as not to burden them with unnecessary details. Now as far as family get-togethers...I don't know if this will work with family, but I pulled it off. I was hosting a party I did not want to cancel -- but was sick as a dog and unable to eat a bite when the time rolled around. By keeping moving, always holding a glass (water, but who knew?), talking to folks, and such, I was able to get through the evening without anyone knowing I was ill or noticing I wasn't eating. Good luck to you, and please let me know how you're doing! -- Milo
I'm so glad you wrote -- like I said to Jules, it's such a relief to get to talk about this stuff with someone who can relate. Bless your heart, you've had a much rougher time of it than I have, with the inflammation and all. But the food and bathroom business -- oh, can I relate to that! My predominant symptoms are diarrhea, cramps, and nausea, but I've had some form of functional GI disorder pretty much all my life. Do you just feel like you're drained of all energy? I spent nearly a year essentially dragging myself to work and back home, weak, not wanting to eat, not wanting to leave the house...the IBS and depression became self-perpetuating, I think. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're having to go through so much unpleasant treatment and that you haven't found relief yet. I hope there are other meds they can try? I don't know much about the treatment of IBD. I have responded pretty well in recent months to an intricate combination of acid blockers, antidepressants, antianxiety meds, Metamucil, and "friendly bacteria" supplements.
Re visiting friends, family dinners, etc...The friends I visit or travel with just know to expect that I may disappear into the bathroom any time and for any length of time. It's inevitable, but I've found my friends to be very cool about it. I just tell them I'm having "stomach troubles" so as not to burden them with unnecessary details. Now as far as family get-togethers...I don't know if this will work with family, but I pulled it off. I was hosting a party I did not want to cancel -- but was sick as a dog and unable to eat a bite when the time rolled around. By keeping moving, always holding a glass (water, but who knew?), talking to folks, and such, I was able to get through the evening without anyone knowing I was ill or noticing I wasn't eating. Good luck to you, and please let me know how you're doing! -- Milo
((((HUGS)))) to you both!!!
I ho9pe that a little more comfort can be found in dealing with your illnesses.
My brother and sister both suffer from a bit of IBS we believe.
I used to have something that affected to long long ago, afraid to eat, etc. etc. because... That was back when i was a teenager and extremely overconcious and shy. I seemed to have grown out of the shyness and the IB, thankgod, but i could imagine your struggles! Again, ((((HUGS))))
Lv Jenny
I ho9pe that a little more comfort can be found in dealing with your illnesses.
My brother and sister both suffer from a bit of IBS we believe.
I used to have something that affected to long long ago, afraid to eat, etc. etc. because... That was back when i was a teenager and extremely overconcious and shy. I seemed to have grown out of the shyness and the IB, thankgod, but i could imagine your struggles! Again, ((((HUGS))))
Lv Jenny
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