AM I EVER GOING TO FEEL GOOD AGAIN?

[pinksapphire]

seriously...will i ever be able to clean my house, do a complex task at work, go to a party, socialize with family, cook a gourmet meal for my boyfriend, have sex...any of it without pills?  oh yes i know i CAN physically accomplish these tasks, but will i ever be able to do them with the same enthusaism and joy that i did before?  just talking on the phone, watching tv, surfing the net, walking my dog...all of it gave me such joy and i absolutely LOVED life while i was using.  now those feelings seem so distant and impossible to recreate without the use of my beloved oxycontin.  oh yes i know i cannot live this lifestyle forever, and that it WILL eventually catch up with me...already has financially, and i'm lucky i haven't ruined my career or relationships...i want to stop before it gets to that point.  but do i really have nothing to look forward to?   i need someone to tell me that i will be able to do the things i onced loved again.  otherwise what's the point?  why don't i just stay on the oxy's if it's the only way i'm going to be able to feel joy and happiness in life?

[oxygirl487]

well from self exp (3-5  80mg oc's aday) i realized that what i thought was fun when i was high really wasnt....ive been clean from oc's over 30 days now...do u remeber back b4 pills? when sometimes u had good days and bad days? well i know now that thats how life is supposed to be...i know when i was using it took all my problems away i thought...but yet my bills were piling up ,i made alot of people around me feel like ****...life still moved on as i sat here smoking cigs and having "fun".....sweetie it gets better....on about day 7 or 8 for me i had an eye opener...everything started to look different i cant explain it really....u just kinda realize u werent really enjoying things u were just enjoying being high.....it comes back hun just give it time..i read somewhere that it can take 6 months for the brain to repair its self......and guess what after u get clean u actually get ur emotions back.....while i was using i lost a child and i drown my emotions with oc's....im just now grieving for my baby boy.....u will get your life back i promise u that.......its not easy in fact its the hardest thing ive ever done but sooo worth it......im here i f u need me..feel free to email me ....love u and god bless u.....

[road2recovery]

I have never done oxys, my doc was hydros...But i can tell you that the answer is yes...It does take time though...I always try to look at it like i was on them for 3 yrs, so i cannot just expect to get that life back in a month...
And you are right at one point is will catch up with us, finacially, physically, relationships etc...It is a dead end road..
I am almost 4 months clean, and i still don't have the spotless house, but i am ok with that, it is so nice also to stop the chasing for pills, worrying about running out, all the money, etc..
I feel so much better now, i thought i felt good on  the pills but there is no feeling like being clean...
Good luck
you can do this
r2r

[traveladdict]

I had the same thoughts. Without the morphine and vico I had no energy no confidence I could socialize without pills.  I am on day 7 and my energy is slowing coming back.  Still cloudy head but I have been able to go to the gym and other places without pills.  You will need to tell yourself this life with oxy is over.  It will be tough for some time but it can be done.  In forum you will find allot of support from people going through the same process as you will once you are ready.  You can do it. Please try.

[johnnykelly]

The energizer Bunny,yes i now the feeling.I first used the percocets for many years and enjoyed the eurphoria of almost everything,from long walks with my girlfriend,to long walks with my perk-bottle.That feeling lasted a long time,but the way i screwed it up was movin on up to those oxycontins.The oxys are 8-to1and 16to1 we dont realize it because,i was used to taking a hand full,not some tiny little bomb. the tolerance built in 2-months verses 3-10yrs as i enjoyed the perks,now im at 120mgs i droped 40mgs as im tapering and after chewing them i dont feel the goodfeeling.I should of delt with the devil i knew,other than changin up!!! ALL the best john

[pinksapphire]

thank you so much everyone...i can't believe how much hope you have inspired in me.  i'm trying to tell myself that other people go their entire lives without using anything at all, and they seem happy.  good days and bad like you said, but they can still be happy.  i know i can't have my life back all in one day, if i could then of course i would have quit a long time ago.  it's true i thought i was so happy while i was using, but really i was losing everything i cared about.  

i would be sick and depressed for a week when i ran out, and then i would drive home from scoring these pills, and just be ELATED before i even took one...just so happy to have them.  it will be good to get off that rollercoaster, even it means never having the high again...

i guess...

i am still so confused.  i know i can't go on like this. i know i have to stop.  i KNOW these things, so why is it soooo hard?  my boyfriend and i talk about it sometimes, but i don't think he is as much of an emotional wreck as i am.  i think it's because he doesn't have as many responsiblities.  the pills were just "fun" for him, maybe, not life-savers when trying to accomplish difficult taks.  or maybe they were?  i don't really know.