Tomorrow is the day

[Ladybug9705]

Well tomorrow is the day that I begin CT off Lortabs. I dont want to ramble but I want to give you part of my story. About 6 years ago I began taking them recreationally just off and on. About 4 years ago I began my dr hunt to find a dr that would write me a script. I have legitimate back pain so I used that reason. After testing and mri I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease...sadly I was happy because I knew getting a script would be no problem!! After a while I was sent to a pain clinic and I currently am prescribed 100 7.5s a month. They are gone in a couple of weeks and I buy off the street(hundreds of dollars worth). I am sick and tired and fed up with this! That is money that my family needs! I hate waking up wondering if I have enough to make it till pay day? How many can I take today? I don't get high on them anymore I just take them to feel "normal". I have a full time job and a family so being sick for a few days will be tough but I am ready to do it!! My back pain is nothing that a little advil wont take care. There is no looking back now..tonight I will take my last pill!!! I am ready! Please say a little prayer for me that I can be strong enough to pull through this darkness!     ---Ladybug

[gnarly_1]

HI hang in there your threw the worst of it from her forward it should start to get ezer
as for the cravings aftercare is your best tool to deal with that weather it be N/A or A/A a substance abuse consolor or a addiction therapist get pluged in somewhere you dont want to ever have to do this again good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[Ladybug9705]

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I am still here and hanging on. Boy it sure is tough. I just hit 97 hrs clean(4 days!!). Seems like the diahera and runny nose have ceased to a minimum. Legs and body still ache so I am still taking hylands restful legs which does seem to help alot. Still no appetite! The cravings are coming and going like crazy but I am managing to fight them off. Overall I feel okay today, Still no motivation or energy!! I never could have made it this far without all of you!! Thanks to all of you!! You are the best!!!

[Rulebrkr]

Hey Ladybug- when I get weak and ready to quit "quitting" I try to write down all of the horrible things I did when I was actively using. The lies I told. The money I spent. The dangerous situations I put myself in. I kept it handy so that I could look it over in my darkest, most painful moments and remind myself that I no longer wanted to live that way or be that person.

Another thing that helps is thinking of the WD time you have under your belt. Not how much longer it will last, but how much time you have already banked in your "pain" account. If you focus on that (glass half full) you can take pride in knowing you won't ever have to do that time again.

Be strong. You can do this. As stupid as it sounds I have done this a zillion times - bc I'm stupid and relapse, believing "just one more time" will only be just one more time - and it never is.

So take my advice for what it's worth. Those things always helped me DURING the process. It's after I'm clean that I have trouble.

Good luck and remember you have a ton of support here.

[Ladybug9705]

Well here I am day 2 and it is still rough. Sorry I did not get to post last night but my head was pounding and I just couldn't look at computer screen anymore after doin it at work all day. Last night was bad, really bad! I managed to sleep maybe 3 hours all night. Nothing more than 30 minutes at a time. I stayed in the bath tub for several hours. That really does help alot. I am at work again today...barely. Can't get the pills off my mind but I know I have come too far to turn back now. I will be damn if I have done all this suffering to just take another pill! I just hope I remember how bad this has been a month from now when I start craving a pill. You guys are amazing! I can not say that enough!!! You truely are God sent. I could not have made it even this far with out you!!! I will try to check in a few hours.

[readynow81]

Hi there. When it gets rough, remember all the things you want to gain from this. Think good thoughts, breathe, and remember this isn't permanent. Soooo proud of you! You can do this!!! Oh, I almost forgot. Something I've done is take the multivitamin / mineral supplement first thing In the am. I got so used to taking pills every morning, I too thought " what will I do In the morning?"  This good thing replaced the bad.

[gnarly_1]

HI just wanted to see how your doing you should be home from work by now post when you get a chance.......Gnarly

[DayToTry]

Don't give in Ladybug.  I'm so loving you're Ladybug name and that makes me root for you even more.  You can do this.  The pain is temporary.  The clean afterward is (or can be) forever!!!!

[gnarly_1]

HI well on the bright side it should be time to go home from work soon I see your in Tennessee im out here in Arizona thats why im usually on late night ....lotos of people up in the middle of withdrawals late night....your in acute withdrawals now it shouldn't get any worst but you got a couple of days of it to go threw each day will be different so dont read anything into it when you get home take a long hot soak....I never drained the tub I would just add hot water so I could go to it when it got bad quickly ...I remember a lot of hot soaks to get threw this remember to force fluids runing to the bathroom will quicky dehydrate you
I know it su cks  now but do your best to keep a positive attitude...also delete those phone numbers now so you dont have any way to get pills were out here for you hang with us you can do this good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[Ladybug9705]

Will this day ever end??? I am 19 hours into day 1....i feel absolutly terrible!!! Chills, bathroom problems, aches, pains, cramps, yawns, you name I have it right now. The very thought that one call could make feel better is very very temping. I am fighting that urge hard right now. Please God help me get through this!

[abel04]

sounds like you might not be having as bad physical symptoms as some-----if you start feeling like you could die......just remeber you won't; i had to pace the floor for about 6-7 nights; big ditto on the hot baths----i just kept it full & got in every hour during the worst.

the psychological is hard too, but when you just get tired of sneaking around & like you said spending $$$$ on what? and the children see & know all.....and the pills that were you friend & your "happy pill" now make you sad & steal you from your life & your children's lives....once you really see all this, & i think you have....you may have bumps, you may relapse, but you can & will do this!

[lostsoul30]

stay strong! sending positive vibes

[dominosarah]

You can do this Ladybug!!  Stay positive and know you are doing something really great here~~~~~~~sara

[gnarly_1]

HI hang in there use your symptoms to strengthen your resolve to quit...its actually not a bad thing your at work it will help keep your mind off of it dont clock watch just let the day go by....look forward to a nice hot soak when you get home and rent a couple of movies your  probably not going to sleep...use your faith in God....prayer helps it made a huge difference for me....just know what your going threw is temporary and in a few days it will pass
your off to a great start remember attitude is everything you can do this.....Gnarly  

[tramsbite]

Bug you are doing so well. I am in awe of your strength. To have to work while going thru.w/d and still keeping a smile on your face. That is strength. God bless you hunnie. I am praying for you.

[Ladybug9705]

Honestly, I feel like crap but I am pulling through!! Everyone on this site is absolutly amazing!! If it was not for yall I would probably have gave in already. I start getting weak and I come back here looking for support and find it everytime. It helps alot to know there really are people just like me out there and I am not alone. Thanks for checking on me.

[gnarly_1]

HEY how you feeling today....??

[Ladybug9705]

Aww you guys are awesome...I am supposed to working but I find myself coming back to this site. It really does help to read all the encouraging words and storys! Well DayToTry, I have not worked but 2 Saturdays in the past year and just found out I have to work half a day tomorrow---yuck!! But atleast it is only till noon.
mychalupa, I will check your journal out. Thanks! XOXO

[mychalupa]

Day 1 was hard hun, your mind plays tricks on you, your body kills so bad but when they say it passes, it truly passes! Day 2 comes and your happy with yourself, surprised that you made it but just keep pushing through, I have children myself,8,5,3 and 1..they are my motivation. I to spent money on drugs that could have went towards them....or bills! They never go without but that truly is not the point.We cant dwell on the past, unfortunately we can only move forwd and learn from those mistakes!
I am starting day 3 in my journal..come take a peak if you like.
Congrats to you on day1 ...stay strong and keep going! XOXO

[ANewLife4Me]

Good luck to you ladybug!  Take it minute by minute if you have to.  Sending prayers your way :)

[DayToTry]

Do you have to work the weekend Ladybug?  I'm hoping for your sake you don't.  Then you can have those two days to recouperate and hopefully be starting to feel better by Monday.  Good luck bug.

[Ladybug9705]

Well I have began my journey today, my last pill was 15 hours ago and the withdrawl symptoms have began. I am at work which is the really sucky part but it is helping to keep my mind off things. My legs are already aching and the bathroom issues have started. My head is pounding. I have imodium and will get the Hylands when I get off work.
Gnarly, thanks for the prayers and all the advice, Lord knows I need them!!

[gnarly_1]

HI ......just read your post and congrats on wanting to take your life back....this will be tuff but very rewarding in the end....fist off try not to let fear or panic into the equation it only makes it worst and its always worst in our minds then it turns out to be...get comfortable with the saying ...''you just got to be ok without be ok for a wile '' you will understand it as you go threw it..remember this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental be ready to fight on both fronts... .we always recommend picking up the stuff in the thomas recipe you will find it under the health pages off to the lower right hand side of the screen...as a bear minimum
pick up the imodium and the highlands restful legs along with plenty of stuff to drink
your probably not going to feel great in the morning but you should be able to get out b/4 it gets bad walmart has everything you'll need you can find the highlands stuff with the vitamins and herbal stuff the best thing you can bring to the table is a positive attitude
it will take you a long way doing this if you can rent a bunch of movies to keep yourself bizzy at night your probably not going to sleep for several days...a hot bath is your best friend doing this a shower will do but a bath helps releave the anxiety also and is good for overall symptoms....hang  in there and just know you can do this ....I noticed you believe in God...that will be priceless going threw this prayer works.... rather then pray for God to take it away...I found praying for the strength to get threw it more effective when it's 3am and your up shaking he's all you got...God was instrumental in helping me get off the stuff and I still relye on him to help keep me clean...I will pray for you ...well I hope the stress of this dosent keep you up tonight let this encourage you that your making the right desison..keep posting for support I will check on you tomorrow morning good luck and God bless......Gnarly        

[pillfree21]

I wish you patience and strength on this journey, it will definitely test both of those, but it is very much doable.  I would try and read as many posts as possible and use some of the advice to lessen the effects of WDs. It truly does get better with time, you just have to allow yourself to get past those first 5-7 days.

[tramsbite]

I just want me back....... You know what you want and you are going for it! I commend you for your strength and bravery. Always remember what you want and why you are putting yourself thru this. We will all be here for you. Sending tons of prayers your way.