been told this must be in my head?

[notinmyhed]

Hi, out there im feeling very alone right now. I been dealing with opioid addictiction for about 10 years. I was on methadone from a clinic for 2years and have been on suboxone for the last 3 years. I started at 16. something mgs a day and have got myself down to 2  2mg/o.5mg sublinguil films a day. Ive been stuck here for almost a year. My boyfriend has just told me, that because I am on such a low dose that its not physical anymore, that if I wanted to stop I could. I have tried , and after only one day I can already feel the chills. low energy and and all around just dont feel well. Im afraid it will only get worse.   my question is, should I just cold turkey it from here on out? I take care of a 90 year old bedridden woman with ALS for a living I'm bout positive I should take time off work? Cant really afford that though, but I am spending alot on Doctor and meds.

[CATUF]

why do people say "all in your head"?  

my active addiction as so powerful and dangerous precisely because it was "all in my head" -- it was the end result of countless opiate receptors in my brain demanding to be fed at the same time that my brain had ceased producing its own meagar supply of endorphins.

it WAS all in my head - every bit of it happened within my head and it almost killed me.  

i think it takes a lot of things acting in concert to move from active addiction to sustained recovery.  however, one of the biggest by far is restoration or healing of brain chemistry.  as long as my brain chemistry stayed AFU, my life stayed AFU.

CATUF
2620

[vicki595]

I'd like to advise you to get with your doctor about tapering. I guess I'm not surprised he/she has not recommended it. You shouldn't have to do this on your own.  As the above poster said, your doctor could support you with some comfort meds when it's time to jump.

Most people taper down to  very low doses, sometimes crumbs. 4mg is not really a low dose either.    All the best!

[littlerock80]

Hi there,

Went from recreational use, to methadone, to suboxone treatment. I've been on sub for 6 years (methadone 2 years, and other stuff for a few more years before that.) I am now on day 6 of no sub. I finally found a good doctor to give me the push that I needed. Not a hard push, but a gentle push in the right direction to taper off slowly. I started out taking 3 8mg tabs a day, then for most of the time was taking 16 mgs.. Last year I was down to 8 mg tab and slowly in this last year, I went down to 1.5 mgs. That's when I stopped. Last saturday. I am a 32 year old, professional, married woman who wants to start a family soon and I knew I had to put an end to it. 6 years is just stupid. I have no ailments other than being born to addict parent. My mom died of a heroin OD when I was three. My Dad is on methadone and has battled his whole life..

Anyway, the first two days were surprisingly easy. I didn't not take into account the half life even though I knew better. Days 3-5 were the hardest. Now is a good time to say that I've had meds to help ease the WD symptoms. My doctor gave me a small valium prescription and neurontin. I know some do not subscribe to that theory but I honestly don't think I could have done it without the help. Even with the meds, I was in the throws of it. But they helped me sleep and that was my biggest concern. The worst part so far is the chills, aches, sweats, RLS.. But as of day 6 I feel they are subsiding already.

I am very aware that I am not out of the woods yet and know all about PAWS but all I can say is that dealing with this is so much better than being chained to a substance that conrolls your life. I say Bring. It. On. I'm ready for my next chapter..

I hope this helps someone.

[Clong45]

The Thomas Recipe is at the botton right hand corner of this page.  This has helped many to ease the withdrawls.  Hope this helps.

[conhall]

The Thomas recipe is great! One thing that always helped me when I was ready to come out of my own skin was WALKING I know sounds crazy but I would just go on a Lil walk and Mind you i know its hard because exercise is last thing you want to even do. But it helped ALOT! Got me focused opened up my mind cleared my head and got those endorphins pumping .
I remember one night it was 2 am and I went on walk was Great for my wds. Good Luck keep posting You can do this .  Stay positive!

[notinmyhed]

To all of you , Thank you so very much! It feels  so good to hear what you all have to say! Since I dont go to meetings, and have no communication with other addicts since ive moved Its good to hear that feedback from all of you! And to Clong45 I really loved your honesty thank you so much! I know what my body is telling me but my boyfriend hurt me and angered me when he said that, I yelled at him that he had no idea what he was talking about. he has since clarified what he meant to say was that " I could quit if i wanted to" He says he dindnt mean CT. But he did say I was at such a "low dose" its no longer physical. I think he is sorry he didnt mean to say it like that. I think I am more than ready to taper down a little more before I just stop CT. Big Hugs to you all! I will keep checking in with you all. Now Im goin to look for the Thomas Recipe! Thank YOU!

[conhall]

I personally do not know myself about sub Wds But I have read alot and Its not in your head.  From what I have read its so much harder to come off Subs than just opiates alone and its because of its shelf life it hangs around longer so that makes sense. I actually thought about going on Subs but after doing the reading thought I wouldnt at this time I would try CT instead and It worked But I do have a really good frieend who did Detox off Subs and I tell you she said it was tough not trying to scare you just giving you the info I Know.  But The WDs are not in your head and I am so sorry you are having a hard time. There is alot of people on this Forum that have given great advice on Suboxone  hopefully they will post and give you the info you need. But hang in there and just know that you can get through this and keep posting and reaching out for help <3

[Clong45]

This is a very good question that I can hope to answer for you.  I was on suboxone for two years after a bad methadone and heroin habit.  I jumped off ship at 2mg.  In the suboxone world this is still  considered a high amount to quit CT.  But I made it.  So it is possible.  I'm back to about 90% normal.  I had bad withdrawls for about 10 days then they started to let up.  I had insomnia till about day 15.  I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't fun at all.  If you can keep tapering down to a lower dose it might be a good idea.  Either way you are going to go through withdrawls.  You've been on it way to long and Suboxone is a very strong opiate, even at 2mg.  Get the thomas recipe and do this whatever way you can.  The sooner the better.  I'm on day 33 and feel great and better every day.  

[Sonrissa]

Hi there! I'm so sorry that you feel like you are all alone! You're not! You are never alone here!

I do not believe that this withdrawal from Subs is "all in your head"! And, even if that was the case, it doesn't mean that it would be any less real to you! I don't have any experience with Subs, but I have also heard that withdrawals are more difficult and worse than from opiate pain medication!

I just wanted to send you support! Others with experience with Subs withdrawals will be along to offer some advice as to whether you should cold turkey or not! Hang in there! Take care and I wish you the very best! Big hugs!

[notinmyhed]

You are very right that sub is meant for shortterm use and I do feel like I've been on it too long.Its up to me not my doctor to stop, Im the one that tapered muslef down to where Im at now. But I have wondered for years now if I will ever recover mentally once the physisical pain and sickness is gone. After our fight he left and I sat here crying like im sure all of us have, will I Ever feel just normally and reasonably well Emotionally and mentally without any substance ever. besides Prozac, which dont seem to be working like it used too. Damn I read this and it sounds so whiny but I am pretty isolated here and yall are the first people I really let out to since I moved here 3years ago.

[notinmyhed]

Bkitty thank you so much for your support and encouragement! I have been thru many awful withdrawls over the years, but since I been on sub I've been steady and am just scared to stop cold turkey. Ans bein that I am a home health aid worker, I spend 4 nights a week in the patients home I just dont think its possible to cold turkey. My boyfriend and I had a huge fight over this awhile ago. which was one reason I came looking for help. Thank you again Bkitty!

[buncogirl003]

I believe whether it CT from opiats or going of subs....you are going to feeel withdrawal. It just something we all must go thru.  I quit CT on vicoden after 10 years.....so I feel for you.

Many said to me...just think of it as the flue for the physical withdrawals.  I know nothing about the mental withdrawal from subs, only know about it all too well from the pills.

You can do it.

Just my opinion.....I am no doctor but I thought you get on subs for a short time to get off the pills.  My girlfriend has been on suboxone for 7 years....to me...that is way too long.  Others I know were on it from 3 - 9 months!  Again,,,,,not sure...just wanted you to know WE are here for you!

[Bkitty]

I dont know much about sub withdrawal but I do know that its not in your head. Coming off subs is very symptomatic and from what Ive read harder than coming off opiates. Im not sure. I wanted to send support-you are not alone. There will be others on later that have more info for you. Hang in there. We'll get ya thru this. ((hugs))~Bkitty