Trying to change my life, any advice is welcome

[weRall1]

Hi, very new here and I will try to make this as short as I am able to.
I am 30 and 5 months ago I told my family that I needed help.  I haven't dealt with any issues, experiences, thoughts, etc from my youth and of course by now the locked closet in the back of my mind is so over full it barely shuts.  I should mention that I ran away from home at 12 because my parents were hard core meth addicts and schizo.  They are clean now but seem to have completely forgot who they were and how bad they got.  Much of the youth issues I never dealt with are because of there destructive ways.  Selective memory is a trip!
I have been trying to be very honest with myself, my situation, taking full responsibility and not putting blame on anyone.  I have done a lot of research over the past year or so about addictions, over coming them, different effective ways to overcome them, nutrition, holistic and spiritual healing, energy healing, quantum level research, ayurveda healing, etc and I feel very knowledgeable about what I need to change my life.  I also know that I can't do it alone and it will never work if I stay in the same environment that I have been in up to now.  
Anyway, prior to reaching out to my family and being honest about having a problem that is keeping me from fixing the deeper issues they had no idea that I ever did drugs at all!  I have never been a conventional typical person and "hitting bottom" is not my style so there was never an intervention.  I just want to change.
This is my question.  Now that they know...I do drugs! *gasp! oh dear god!* They can't trust me in their homes, chain down their tvs I might steal it and sell it for crack and shoot it up!  Even though I have never stolen from them before and they never had a reason to distrust me, and I have been high for a long time-many years suddenly now they have that info I am now a criminal!
They tell me that the only way they can help me is if I go to a 30 day detox first.  I do not do heroin.  Nobody has any money to send me to rehab, so they insist on making me go to the state funded place that they send the homeless, mental patients, or petty criminals that usually don't really want to quit just stay out of jail.  Mind you, I know a lot of the people that would be in and out of there, reconnecting with them is the last thing I would want to do right now, and state funded anything is not known for being holistic and nutritionally focused.  I do not want to be diagnosed with something only to be put on a different drug.  I find the idea of NA or AA backwards and with a 5% success rate I cant see why it is the only "proven effective" way to quit.  The research done on nutritional addiction treatments have a 70% to 80% recovery, but it is "alternative".
I have been fighting with my entire family for 5 months about this, honestly I am shocked I am still trying to do it.  I just wish I was never honest with them in the beginning, I would be in a different mind set.
I feel like I might as well become a criminal if they are making me detox with criminals.
I am not sure if I ever asked an actual question, but any advice would be amazing!

[spacecadette]

Hmmmmmm.   you say that NA or AA is only a 5 % success rate...according to what source if I may ask? And there is absolutely nothing wrong with state funded centers.  The people that go there are from all parts of society.  Yes it's true that you won't be treated by Dr. Drew from celebrity rehab, but you'll get the care u need.  At least its a start.  I think that detoxing first is a good idea and your family only wants to help you.  Most of the time we are judged in the beginning......it's NATURAL for humans...especially those who have no experience in dealing with addicts...and it's sad to say but the last people who should be put in charge of decisions is "us"...the addicts.....try not to make light of their reactions as if they are incompetent and uncaring hun.....u go on to say "Now that they know...I do drugs! *gasp! oh dear god!* They can't trust me in their homes...." i honestly don't think it's like that and it may be a little exaggerated. And of course they're thinking "dear god!"....because they LOVE YOU!!! And they're worried about you and afraid for your life.  Can I ask what it is your addicted to? It really doesn't matter if you shoot heroin or abuse 5 mgs vicodins hun.  An addict is an addict.  And sometimes NOT giving us a choice but to follow their rules is the BEST choice for us.  How about if you tried the detox and then maybe tried the holistic approach?? maybe you guys could meet half way in the middle somewhere and find a happy medium?  And remember that most of these people at the rehab aren't really criminals...they're addicts, and this disease does things to them which normally they would never do.  You can actually learn a lot about these people who at one time or another may have been successful.  It really is very humbling.  I wish you all the best. keep  posting.

[avisg]

I am sorry you are going threw all of this .Are you still using now ? How you handle your addiction is up to you .If you are not comfortable with the only place you can do rehab then find an alternative approach to get help.You do need to find some recovery care if aa/na is not the thing for you then try something like a therapist .Your family will come around (I hope ) we are here for you .
avis