Trying to quit Tramadol

Hello

I've been on Tramadol for about a year, taking about ten 50 mg pills per day, so 500 mg. I didn't really keep track, though, it may have been more for a while. As I've been making my mind up to quit, though, I've maintained 10 a day for a while.

I'm wanting to quit, and looking for input about my plan as well as just plain 'ol support.

I originally took them for legit pain issues but honestly I don't know if I even have pain anymore. And I took more than I should have. I read how addictive they were and did not even attempt to stop. I knew it would be a big deal once I did. I didn't like  how they made me feel at first, and can't say I ever really did. I just didn't know when it would be a good time to stop.

I'm a busy, divorced, working mom of two little kids.

Some people, apparently, are real go-getters on Tramadol. Not me. And I have grown very weary of the zoned-out feeling I get on Tramadol. I feel dumb on it and I feel like a zombie. I feel self-conscious, like it's obvious. And I feel awful because my kids deserve a present mom. My boyfriend deserves a present girlfriend.

So, despite reading NUMEROUS horror stories about withdrawal from Tramadol, I started dreaming of stopping. Since I won't be able to take time off mommy-ing and working, I dug into lots of posts and noted what people said helped -- everything from herbal supplements to Benadryl to oxcarbazepine.

I believe that I've read that besides its opioid component, that Tramadol causes Serotonin release in the brain (not a true SSRI, though, I think?) and is an SNRI too, I believe.

From previous prescriptions I am presently armed with probably 20 hydrocodone, a month's supply of Zoloft (an SSRI) and Wellbutrin (acts on norepinepherine and dopamine, I believe). I'm probably not thinking very clearly and I'm just piecing together a bunch of crap I've read. But my thought with the hydro and antidepressants is that perhaps I can taper over to a very minimal amount of hydro long enough to get the antidepressant element of the Tramadol out of my system (should take 24-36 hours Tram-free, that's what I read) , after which I can take some amount of the antidepressants while I continue to taper off the hydro until I'm at zero for opiates. Then when I'm ready I can take a Prozac and be done with the antidepressant withdrawal component. Kind of a "divide and conquer" mentality :) Reading people's reports of coming off this drug, I think the antidepressant part has got to be the worst part to come clear of.

By the way, In case the Prozac part (above) didn't make sense, some people find that it's very very hard to come off an SSRI antidepressant, and I have found this to be the case when I came off the Zoloft a few years ago (I didn't like the way it made me feel and quit after 3 months). When I stopped taking it, my feet tingled and felt "intense" (kind of a restless-legs-syndrome feeling). I felt weird and disoriented. I tried a few times to taper off the Zoloft, taking less and less each day until finally my dose was simply nipping the very edge of a pill! Even so, when I finally stopped altogether, I suffered the discontinuation syndrome and it just made me feel horrid, so I went back on! Well, finally I read that the trick to coming off an antidepressant such as Zoloft (which has a medium-range half life) is to take a SINGLE dose of Prozac. Because Prozac has an long half life, it tapers itself down, beautifully. It worked. So for what it's worth that's my plan this time, when I'm jumping off the SSRI.

So here's what's happened this week, just kind of playing this by ear. I didn't intend to do a fast taper but I found to my surprise that it was possible to go a few days in a row at least on a much lower dose than I'd taken before. Based on my experience coming off an SSRI (where tapering quickly didn't really effect me too badly but that last jumping off point was like going through the rabbit hole), I thought maybe Tramadol might be similar. So far it is.

Sunday, I took 8 Trams (400 mg).  Less than half my dose of the previous week. I took a Unisom gel at night (the same stuff that's in Benadryl) and it put me out hard.

Monday, I took 5 Trams (I took 2 at 7am and coasted as long as I could. I took 1 after lunch, and then pushed it until 5pm, when I took 2). I just wanted to see if I could do it. I wasn't going for any particular number. I took a Unisom gel at night.

Tuesday I took 4, I think. Maybe I took half a hydro? Not sure when I started feathering in the hydro. I took a Unisom gel at night and I believe it was hard to sleep.

Wednesday (yesterday), I think I took 3 Trams (one at 7am, 1 late morning when I started to feel wonky, and I think I took 1/2 at bedtime, but not until AFTER it was obvious I wasn't going to sleep otherwise. I took half a hyrdro at bed, too, and two Unisom gels. Even with all that, it was a challenge to fall asleep.

Today is Thursday at 9:40PM and I have not taken any Tramadol yet. I took 1 hydro in the morning and 1/2 a hydro this afternoon. I also took 2 30 mg pseudophedrine (decongestant--the kind you have to sign for) in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. I saw them in my medicine cabinet and I have to say I think they helped me fight the lack of energy I am definitely starting to feel. My skin is crawling a bit but my mind just wants to sleep. I ate a good dinner, though. I am not sure what I'll end up needing to take tonight to sleep. I guess I'm hoping not to need a Tramadol because 36 hours without is coming up fast, and after that I can start taking the Zoloft and see if that's going to make me feel better. I may introduce the Wellbutrin, too.

To others who have quit Tramadol or even attempted it--my full respect.

- Zoey

[killerzoey]

I made it through the night and now it's Friday, second day with no Tramadol, if I'm going to keep this up. I felt really strange last night and had some RLS but with half a hydro and a LOT of Unisom (sorry, I lost count. I believe I took four) I was able to sleep. Going to work now, feeling semi-ok. It's now been 29 hours since I took 1/2 a tramadol, 41 hours since the dose before that, which I believe was one pill. So the consensus so far is that taking a minimal amount of hydro eases some symptoms and makes it possible for me to go to work. I don't want to just maintain on hydro, though. If I do, I am just prolonging the opiate-like withdrawals.

No brain zaps or anything yet, which kind of surprises me.

[atthebeach]

hi zoey, good for you wanting to reclaim your life.
are you already on all of those other meds now or did you keep them from other times? i think you need to clean your medicene cabinet out.
that was a very abrupt stop of the trams for your system to handle.
being on such a high dose of trams you shouldnt have stopped them so quickly.
rls & brains zaps are a very common w/d symptom of tramadol.
yes if you stay on the hydro you will just put off the w/d. the hydro is still feeding your systme the opiates.
why didnt you ask you doctor for a taper schedule from the tramadols?
i dont think you should be trying to come up with your own recipe for detox? it could certainly get messy and backfire on you.

[killerzoey]

Yeah, you're probably right, but for personal/small town reasons I don't want to go that route if I don't have to. I'm not sure I clarified this, but I didn't set out Sunday to stop this quickly. But I have heard that this can be one of those drugs that to some, is not too bad to cut down on but extremely hard to stop that last little bit. That's how Zoloft was for me. Not everyone had this experience, of course. So I thought I'd drop down to a lower dose as my (dis) comfort level allowed. I never thought I'd drop down to no Tram this quickly...but it is comfortable, so I'm going with it. This may well change, though, I'm only hours into this.

Today I took a hydro and a half spread through the day (these are just 5s, btw) and no Trams. I was able to function at work and interact with lots of people and feel ok, mostly. After work it was about 38 hours since the lady half a Tram, and I decided to take half a Zoloft and a Wellbutrin. Did not notice any effect. I had a meeting to attend, did that, came home. Took a shower and a nice long nap. I've been lucky and my kids have wanted to snuggle and nap in the afternoons. This sleep comes much easier than at night. Gah. I'm not really kicking, but I'm tossing and turning and yawning an stretching and...all over again. I'm not proud of this but I took 6 Unisoms last night, in 3 doses. At least it's Benadryl and not benzos.

[ImDONENoMore]

Congrats for deciding to quit the trams.  But please be careful - 6 Unisoms?  Please don't do that again.

Hope you're hanging in there today.  :)

[Missshawn]

Good morning...how are you feeling., plz be carful with the sleeping aid..
You have a strong mind set to quit,& I think that is important.. Listen to you body,as it will get u threw this

[killerzoey]

Hello, and thanks for your concern. It helps a lot to come here and know others understand, and it helps me to type this stuff out. Kind of makes it more real.

I took a full hydro (5mg, not 7.5) last night, so I didn't need to take so much Benadryl / Unisom to sleep. I'm wondering if as I continue to cut down the hydro, if I should make my pre-sleep dose the last thing I cut out. Any thoughts?

So yesterday in all I took:
2.5 hydros (12.5 mg total)
2 50-mg Zolofts
1 Wellbutrin SR 150-mg

I guess that's a fair swap from 10 or more Trams, which is what I've been doing for a long time.

For one thing, I've taken this level of hydros and ADs before, and come off them. I just don't want to do it all at the same time, as I'd have to do if I tapered and then jumped off Tramadol, and dealt with the full force of the opiate-like withdrawal AND serotonin AND nor epinephrine discontinuation syndrome. Yikes. Again--I fully respect those who have done this.

So far today all I've taken is 1 Zoloft and 1 Wellbutrin. It's noon. Opiate-wise I think I'll push this as far as I can comfortably do today, without alienating my loved ones. I have not much on my plate today, just paperwork to do, bills to pay, etc.

Since taking the Wellbutrin I've been a little shaky. Not pleasant. But at least I'm not yawning and stretching and thinking of sleeping every minute.

[killerzoey]

Oh, and atthebeach, to answer your question, I have those prescriptions from before. I have an autoimmune disease and at one point I was in a lot of pain and he prescribed me the hydros, and the antidepressant Zoloft, as he thought the combo would help. The Wellbutrin was added when I complained of sexual side effects.

[killerzoey]

OK so today is Sunday, day 4 without Trammies.

Yesterday I made it until 1pm and took a 5mg hydro. A bit later I took a 50mg Zoloft and Wellbutrin SR 150. Felt ok, low energy, but functional.

Went to bed around 11pm, decided to take Immodium as I've heard it can ease withdrawals, and I was going to try to see if I could take just that and sleep. If not, backup plan was to take 1 more hydro for a total of 2 that day.

Well...weirdest thing. I think I felt pretty relaxed when I took the Immodium. Hard to say because I hadn't yet tried to sleep. Sometimes when you just lie there, THAT's when you notice the restless legs. But I am almost sure that I became more agitated after taking the Immodium. Weird.

I took a Unisom and still tried to cubscout through this sleep thing...no dice. Kept tossing and turning. Finally took 1/2 a hydro, waited...no dice. Took another 1/2...eventually fell asleep and slept a long time.

So total for yesterday (Saturday)

0 Tramadol
2 hydros (10mg total)
1 Zoloft (50mg)
1 Wellbutrin SR (150 mg)

It's noon on Sunday and I'm feeling pretty wonky, but ok. Haven't taken anything yet today, but probably will in a bit.

I'd have to say that so far this has been ok, much better than I thought. I know I'm using crutches, but if I'd known I could transfer over this easily to something I KNOW I can get off of, I would have done it sooner. I guess you never know until you try. I'm still experiencing withdrawal, though...for sure.

[killerzoey]

I really don't know what to say at this point...today it's four o'clock and I've only taken half a hydro, so 2.5 mg. I feel fine. I'll probably have to take one to sleep tonight but maybe I'll try just half.

I even got out today and ran errands that I didn't have to run, I felt so ok. I feel a bit of an awakening. Not back to myself yet, but getting there.

[atthebeach]

hi zoey, so glad you are doing ok.keep up the good work.
you do know it takes a few weeks for the psych meds to build up in your system?  how much do you have?
when your zoloft and wellbutrin runs out will you get more?  
continue to do with the least you get to get by. try to get some exercise in and make sure you are eating a diet with lots of fruits,veggies and protein and drinking enough fluids.
how many hydros do you have left?
sending support and encouragement,
debbie

[killerzoey]

Debbie,

Thanks for your reply. I know that it takes a few weeks for build up, I guess I was thinking if I was already used to those aspects of the Tramadol that taking those ADs would mitigate that part of the withdrawal. I guess, though, that I may just want to play it by ear since I am seemingly having an easy time of it. I am not sure how many hydros I have left. At this rate, I am thinking plenty to get me through this. My doctor has prescribed both of those antidepressants as part of my pain flare treatment last time, and I went off them when no longer needed because I didn't like being a zombie. I actually had my dr call in new scripts for those in preparation for this withdrawal, just in case. I don't really want to be on them but I understand that post-withdrawal the brain has a lot of stabilizing to do.

It's 6pm, still going on the 2.5 mg hydro from this morning. My arms and legs are definitely restless, but I'll be comfortable enough until I try to sleep. No diarrhea or anything at all yet. Maybe the Immodium precluded that. I tell you one thing (tmi, sorry)...I'll be SOOOO glad to be able to go again! I've been incredibly constipated while on Tramadol. Ew. Sorry :/ While I'm dishing out tmi, though...I'm also looking forward to having er, "drive" again!

I don't know how work will go tomorrow. I have a few people under me and above me working in proximity to me and they'll probably notice if I'm TOO out of it. I'll have to play it by ear and just see what little I can get away with taking. I'm very motivated to get this over with, but don't want to raise eyebrows. All in all, though, I'm very happy with how this is going. Thanks again :)

[atthebeach]

hey zoey,
how did work go today? how are you feeling? i am glad you have been feeling ok. that is great. one day at a time is how you will get through.
just take it as it comes. dont anticipate. you are doing awesome.

[killerzoey]

Well, made it through Monday back at work. I woke up feeling pretty good despite a late bedtime...I took some Unisom and then my boyfriend came home from work and kept me up a while longer...I think I missed my opportunity to fall asleep. Then I lay in bed for a long time with restless legs, tossing and turning, while he snored away. Haha-thanks a lot!

I took some Immodium, trying that experiment again, didn't seem to agitate me like last time but didn't help me sleep either. Waited until I'd be lucky if i even got 5 hours sleep, and took half a hydro. Waited...had to take the other half. Then I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up my arms and legs were gel...not restless at all. I could have slept all morning :(

So that makes 1.5 hydros (7.5 mg total), for the fourth day sans Tramadol, yesterday. I didn't take any antidepressants. I think I decided that was premature. I think I want to see if I feel I need it. I haven't had any brain zaps, but I never did get those with Zoloft discontinuation. I just had this intense, weird feeling in my feet and hands. Mostly my feet. It must have been pretty bad if I went back on the Zoloft. So on second thought, maybe that's got more to do with my sleep issues than it seems. Hard to say.

I'm on day five Tramadol-free, and this morning when I went into work I didn't feel I needed my "morning dose" as I've been accustomed to taking for...a long time. Then around lunchtime I started feeling pretty zoned out and alien. I took half a hydro, and later when I still felt awful took another full. So that's 1.5 today--same as yesterday's total. I'm probably going to need another at least half to sleep, but I'll certainly try without first.

Food's starting to taste good, I noticed. I had toast with dinner and I thought it was about the best thing I ever ate.

[killerzoey]

Oh-thanks for your post, Debbie. I didn't see it until I posted the above. I hope you had a good day, too! I appreciate the encouragement very much.

[killerzoey]

Just checking in...yesterday was hectic! I ended up totaling 2 hydros both yesterday and today, but I slept great last night despite taking one mid morning and the second early afternoon. I was worried I'd end up needing more to sleep but I didn't. I sweat a lot in my sleep and felt waves of chills over my whole body. Today I lay down to nap after work because I just felt out of it. This is quite possibly the antidepressant withdrawals. Pretty physically uncomfortable. I ended up taking a Zoloft and Wellbutrin and I think I feel better. Gosh. There's just no good time to be this uncomfortable right now. I've got tons and tons of meetings coming up and my caseload is getting heavier, lots of balls in the air. The good news is that it's totally bearable at this level, with the hydro and antidepressants. The bad news is I'm just not sure when I'm going to be able to go without either. Still, I feel better knowing that I've divided the beast up into separate components, so that I can start tapering one and then the other. I guess it would make sense to taper the hydros first. I hate the weight I gained on the Zoloft, so I won't be wanting to keep those long, though. (Thinking back to the 20 lbs I gained in 4 months on Zoloft...) OK, maybe the Zoloft goes first! Both have sexual side effects and to me that's the biggest ripoff, as I'm in a wonderful relationship and I really want to enjoy it to the fullest ;) Anyway, just sharing what I'm going through in case someone finds this thread later and finds any part of it interesting.

[killerzoey]

What's with sweating the bed every night????? Oh my gosh. And I'm always cold. Sort of irrationally, can't-get-myself-warm-despite-being-bundled-up cold.

[atthebeach]

hi are you still taking the hydros? the sweats can last awhile. how is everything else doing? are you taking immodium. that sometimes helps with the sweat also.

[Jordan_J]

I kinda did the opposite of you hehe. When I came off Codeine after tapering down from 900mg to 0mg within 10days. The 2, 3 and 4 day I took 1x50mg Tramadol morning and night for 3 days. I didn't get any feeling from it but it took away the RLS and agitation I was experiencing. It did not help me sleep however.

One thing I've learned coming off opiates is if you can't sleep, don't lay there trying to. Get up and do something. Maybe read a book, do the laundry, video games, movies or even exercise if you have a treadmill like me :P Hot baths, swimming is great.

[Jordan_J]

Also when I took Immodium I would get a fever? Is that meant to happen or is my body a bit special lol.

[killerzoey]

What's with sweating at night? Gross!

[killerzoey]

Oops sorry I didn't see my post about sweating so I posted again. Thanks for the responses. I'm still taking hydros, and Unisom, but I forgot to take the antidepressants. Ugh. I really don't know which way is up with my "plan" now. I should get some more Immodium I guess, though no trots yet. It seems like after the first few days no two days have been the same and I'm not getting consistent results...with anything. Still, at least I'm not taking the evil Tramadol anymore!

For what it's worth, though I'm clearly not prancing through the meadow careless and free yet (haha) I do have to say that I am SO SO SO much less foggy than I was on Tramadol!  That stuff is truly soul-sucking.

[killerzoey]

Jordan, that's good advice about the insomnia. It feels very awkward when the other half doesn't know what I'm going through, though. I feel kind of trapped in bed, which makes it worse, of course!

Weird about the Immodium fever!

[killerzoey]

Ugh. Woke up in a pile of sweat...but slept TEN hours? The first 5 or so were Unisom aided... Maybe I got some real sleep after that ? Weird. Still trucking Tramadol free...guess I'm waiting to feel normal before stopping the hydros. I suppose I'm going through Tramadol withdrawal.still, even with the help of a little  hydro. I'm very very lazy. Bed and movies are my level of true motivation and zest for life these days, but I am able to fake it for periods of time.

[killerzoey]

Happy MLK Day!

Just continuing to post on this thread for posterity.

Last night around 7 I was already feeling sweaty and gross and hadn't even tried to bundle up and sleep yet. Skin was crawling. Kids are at Dad's, boyfriend away so I was trying to watch a movie.

I hadn't done much from the Thomas Recipe because I am not off opiates totally yet. But I am clearly withdrawing so I decided to try an experiment. I took, in turn:

1. L-Tyrosine, 2000 mg. No impact.
2. 6mg Immodium (all I had left) - No impact.
3. Magnesium (not sure the amount. Big pill - no impact.
4. Potassium - no impact.
5. Buproprion 150mg - perhaps felt a little better?
6. Finally, I went ahead and took 1/2 a hydro at bedtime, as I've been doing. Felt much better. Still irrationally cold to some extent, but not gross and sweaty.

But then I took a 10 mg Melatonin capsule (which I just bought yesterday) at bedtime, instead of my 2 Unisom I've taken, and still had restless legs.

I slept like a baby and didn't wake up all sweaty! Interesting. So there must have been something in what I had taken earlier that combatted the RL and sweat. Maybe I'll get some more Immodium today in case that was part of it. The magnesium and potassium may have really h elped, too. I hadn't touched it since I thought it was making me more antsy. Could have been unrelated. It seems like feelings come and go sometimes randomly.

I've woken up feeling underwater and groggy after taking Unisom, even though after I take it it still takes eons to kick in. The Melotonin made me feel fine in the morning, and it feels like I really slept, rather than checked out. I think I'd tried it years ago and discredited it, but I'm glad I gave it a second try.

I am planning some fun things with the kids this week, and have a very busy work week. In general I just feel so much more with it. Even though I'm a puddle of sweat and nerves sometimes, without the Tramadol haze I'm much more present with my kids. I'm also better at being consistent with them because I'm not paralyzed by that crap. Looking forward to being fully free.

[atthebeach]

hey zoey,
yes the magnesium/potassium are for the rls. the melatonin definitely helps some people sleep. the immodium does help with the sweats.
how much hydro are you still taking? is 1/2 all you took the whole day?
glad you are feeling better. enjoy your time with your children.
keep on moving forward.
debbie

[BarbRTR]

You have been on Wellbutrin before I see, it has a similar chemical composition as a diet pill, it may give you energy, but for most people anxiety, restlessness etc for first couple weeks.. And insomnia.

Maybe it's contributing to your nerves?

Good job! Get baby powder or cornstarch and drown your body and sheets in it for sweating too!

[killerzoey]

I've been on Wellbutrin before, and had read that it can ease Tramadol withdrawals. When I took it yesterday I was already pretty anxious and I don't remember feeling any worse after taking it, but it did occur to me that I probably should consider taking it earlier in the day. Although of all nights, last night I slept like a (dry) baby! Agh. Again I'm reminded that haven't really had consistent results yet with...anything, sadly, other than hydro. atthebeach, I believe I took 1.5 yesterday, one when I start having trouble functioning during the day, another portion to sleep.

I'm thinking of trying to jump off Thursday. Part of me doesn't want to do it yet, as I'm so enjoying being there for my kids, and this will mean just another crappy weekend where Mom's not "up to" getting out. I'm so sick of being that person. One really sad thing I'm dealing with right now is facing the reality of just how checked out and tired I've been. I know it's a trap to use chemicals to be the "up" and "fun mom", and I don't want to stop here. I know I have to jump off at some point. I just so want to give my kids a couple of nice weekends before I have to drag us through that.

It doesn't help that I've been legitimately sick for most of December, too...terrible respiratory crap I've never seen the likes of before that had me on ordered bed rest for weeks. I am supposedly not in the clear yet, too...I have a follow up in two weeks to see if my lungs have cleared. I guess I should cut myself SOME slack that I've been legitimately unable to be the mom I want to be...for weeks. I just don't want to do this to them on the heels of that. The timing of this was partly spurred by the laws changing and delay in my Tramadol shipping, and I am completely 100% grateful for that. I had been planning on waiting until summer to quit. Another half a year wasted? No thank you! I already feel like I have so much of my life back. But I am aware that I'm on borrowed time, that I have farther to push.

Thanks again for all your kind words. It really helps to have a place to come and talk about the "big elephant in the room".

[killerzoey]

Took everything I took before that sweat-free night...except the Wellbutrin. Guess what? I was a puddle of sweat. Withdrawals=random!

Woke up, showered, toweled off, sweaty within 30 seconds....and cold.

Really didn't want to to to work drenched and shaking from the chill. Took Immodium (14 mg?) and felt relief! Was able to go until afternoon when withdrawals in the form of fogginess, tearing, and yawning started to become obvious, I feared, in a long meeting with higher-ups. Took a hydro during a bathroom break. It's almost bed time-yay.

I had a long, productive, relatively sweat-free day. Had so much fun being with my kids after work. Just took some more Immodium, going to see if I can sleep on that.

Oh-by the way, I took a Rhodiola supplement this morning...maybe that helped? I had bought it for general mood support and energy, but hadn't started taking it yet.  Thought I'd put that our there in case it helps someone. I think it provides adrenal support, as well.

[lilyzmom]

I am about to undertake the same thing - quitting Tramadol. I've been taking them for over 5 years and I take about 30-40 5MG per day.  I hadn't heard of the immodium for sweating so I'm running to the store to get some. I am going the tapering route. I did it cold turkey a few times but couldn't get past the 4th day without going back. I also ordered something called Withdrawal-ease off the internet and hoping that helps. I'll post my updates as well. So nice to feel like I have somewhere to go where I can be honest about what's going on. Wish me luck!

[Missy1231984]

Thank so much for constantly updating.  This whole thread gives me hope that I can do this.  The changes in the tramadol law was partly why I decided to quit also.   I just tapered down from 10-15 trams a day to 10 trams a day a week ago.  I was suppose to go down to 9 but ended up taking 12 yesterday.  I had run out of benderyl so I didn't have anything to help me sleep last night.   Today I went out and got more benderyl.  It's 9 pm and I've had 8 trams.  I took 2 benedryl 2 hours ago and am hoping sleep kicks in before I get tempted to use the trams.   If I could do 8 a day for the rest of the week I will be ahead of schedule.   My plan is to go down one pill a week until I get to 3 and then start reducing 1/2 a pill a week.  

I am thinking of getting some vitamins.  I did order Kratom and kava kava, but have not tried either since im still on quite a bit of tramadol.  I am thinking that it might be better to start on magnesium, potassium, l-tyrosine, and melatonin instead.  What do you guys think?  I did start taking flinstone vitamins and fish oil 3 days ago.  If there enough vitamins in the flinstone vits or should I try something better?  

[killerzoey]

Good for you! You can do it! I'm still off Tramadol and stopped the hydros ten days ago. It's been an interesting month. I'll be looking for updates from you, best of luck!

[killerzoey]

That last one was for lilyzmom, by the way :)

[killerzoey]

Missy, I tapered over to the hydro and paid the piper there, meaning I went through the worst of the Tramadol wds while buffered by hydro. Not sure if that might work for you with Kratom a bit later... I went with what my body felt it could do, and it sounds like you're using a similar approach along with a taper plan to guide you. I wish you the best of luck. You can do this!

[lilyzmom]

I don't have anything to augment the Trams while I taper such as hydrocodone. Im not familiar with what Kratom is?  I am hoping the Withdrawal-ease I ordered will help me. I really want to stay away from any opiod altogether.  For night, I take a half of a Zanax to sleep. If its really difficult, I'll take a whole one but they really knock me out. I began tapering yesterday, although I was up to quite a lot. Scares me to think how many i've been taking. Geez. I am a fairly intelligent adult woman, how did I let this happen?

[Missy1231984]

I don't have any "prescription" meds to help taper with either.  I order some Kratom and kava kava after reading somewhere that it helps with withdrawals.  Honestly since I was still allotting for 10 trams a day my issue isn't so much the physical symptoms, as it is the mental ones.  I keep looking for that pick me up.  I feel so blah just feeling "normal."  It's like "normal" isn't good enough anymore.  

[FourJays]

Hello - I can really relate to your situation; wondering how and when I got to where I was.  I also have a Tramadol problem.  I took it for 14+ years and was up to 40+ pills a day.  I am very happy to say I'm at 67 days clean today.  It will not be easy; especially the first few days/week, but you CAN do it.  Better, clearer and happier days await you . . . hang in there!
Julie

[killerzoey]

"Geez. I am a fairly intelligent adult woman, how did I let this happen?"

I sooooo relate to this! You're not alone.

[lilyzmom]

I am looking forward to that day and its not too far in the future, I know this. I can relate to Missy - that looking for that "pick me up" feeling you get from Tramadol. However, I must say its only short term and I know mentally the negative things such as having no desire to exercise, sweating all the time, lack of sex drive, blurred vision, sleeplessness, feeling disconnected when I've take too much, etc. kinda outweighs that little pick-me-up short term feeling that seems to get more and more difficult to achieve.

My daughter found my latest stash, she's found them before and has been all over me to get help.  The problem was, I didn't want to stop until now. She said a few things to me this last time that struck home. One she said is she is done caring about it. If I don't care, why should she?  The other one she is said is "Mom, you're better than this, why don't you see that?". And she is so right. Out of the mouths of babes, right?  Although she is 24. Whose the parent???

When I was doing it for someone else, I didn't seem to have the motivation to stop. Liked it too much.  Now, its for me. I am better than this.

Two 2 of tapering. I have been taking a lot so I took half my normal allotment yesterday and didn't notice a thing.  Just curious, how does immodium help with the sweats?

[lilyzmom]

PS - I wish this thread was listed from newest to oldest instead of the opposite...

[Missy1231984]

I wish it was too!  You are right about it being a quick pick up, but not worth it in the end!  Ever since I started trams I have had ZERO sex drive.  In fact in makes me not want my husband to even touch me.  It also makes it very hard to sleep unless I take way too much.   My husband comes home from deployment in a few months and I want to want him.  It was feeling like a chore before he left.  I also hate having to figure out a time to have my pills delivered without him finding out.  I had to travel for my grandfather's funeral 2 years ago and actually had pills delivered to a family members address while I was there.   I hate having to have a pill bottle attached to me.  It is so absurd!  

[atthebeach]

hey zoey,
I hope and pray you are feeling much better now. have you
checked into any counseling and/or support groups?
congrats on your clean time. well done.
keep up the good work.
be blessed,
debbie

[killerzoey]

Thanks, Debbie, feeling better now...not writhing in pain and timing my contractions, haha. I am trying a little soup now after basically a two-day fast. Wish me luck :)

How are you?

I just realized that the ice cream my boyfriend got has sorbitol in it, which tears me up big time. He served me a whole bowl if it the night before I went into "labor". Not saying I wasn't already uncomfortable, but that may have sent me over the edge. I need to sleep with one eye open, I guess. He's trying to kill me, haha! Oh wait, never mind. I don't sleep. Ah....detox is fun.

Thanks for the well wishes and concern, I really appreciate it. I havent looked  into aftercare, a little nervous about it. Small town, vindictive ex, worried about my reputation and undergoing the humiliation he has been known to dole out.

[killerzoey]

Thanks, Debbie, feeling better now...not writhing in pain and timing my contractions, haha. I am trying a little soup now after basically a two-day fast. Wish me luck :)

How are you?

I just realized that the ice cream my boyfriend got has sorbitol in it, which tears me up big time. He served me a whole bowl if it the night before I went into "labor". Not saying I wasn't already uncomfortable, but that may have sent me over the edge. I need to sleep with one eye open, I guess. He's trying to kill me, haha! Oh wait, never mind. I don't sleep. Ah....detox is fun.

Thanks for the well wishes and concern, I really appreciate it. I havent looked  into aftercare, a little nervous about it. Small town, vindictive ex, worried about my reputation and undergoing the humiliation he has been known to dole out.

[killerzoey]

Missy, I could really relate to what you wrote. I have missed enjoying sex, it's so sad. I'm with a great man and it's a waste, at the very least ;) It is definitely appreciating things on this side of quitting :)

Oh, and the whole logistics thing with the pill delivery...so exhausting.

[lilyzmom]

Not just the logistics of the delivery, but hoping you don't get caught by someone you don't want to know AND its embarrassing with the mail and fedex people. They know what the heck I'm doing and I feel like they look at me and think "she's a druggie". I hate that feeling.  I'm not damnit! Well, actually I am but there is a non-addict inside me. I was there before and I will be again.  Day 3 here and I'm doing really well. About half of what I was taking and I've had no problems at all yet. I know its going to be harder the less I take so this next week will be challenging and then I am traveling for business. Hope I don't have any problems while being in meetings with clients. I dont' want to relapse as a way of getting through meetings...

[killerzoey]

Yeah, that, too :( I live in a small town and I hate that I feel I have to avoid making eye contact with my mail carrier. Eventually hopefully they'll forget. I can't dwell on that too much now. But yeah, the fear of being found out by my boyfriend was another big burden of the pill ordering thing. Soooo glad to be out from under that!

How are you feeling today?

[lilyzmom]

I'm doing good so far, I am tapering 2 less per day and I have to say, I've only had two bad nights in the one week I've been at it.  I am at my boyfriend's for the week and he is heading out of town so I figured I could go through the worst part while I'm all alone. Well, alone with 4 dogs, a horse and a donkey...

So nice to have someone to chat with who is going through the same thing. I don't know why but it really helps give me strength and keeps my determination going. Unlike my therapist can provide. They just want to talk about themselves - two so far...  And making sure they get paid. A big turn off.

Thank you for being there.

[YesLife4Me]

This reminds me of the time I received pills at work and I made a comment in front of everyone that I was getting my scrips sent to me by the pharmacy since it was an option and the Fed Ex Guy said "yeah, right".   I wanted to crawl under my desk and die.   :(  

[killerzoey]

That kind of sounds nice, to have some alone time to go through some of this -at least that's how I felt. My bf left town for five nights while I was WDing and it was toward the end of that when I quit the hydro. Some people revel on support when they feel poorly, but I just like to crawl into a cave.

Sorry to hear about your experiences with therapists. Sounds like you might be better off talking to one of the dogs or the donkey!

[killerzoey]

NoLife4Me, I cringed at the reaction of the FedEx guy! I have never made excuses, but for a while I was thinking, "We'll, my dad gets his scripts delivered, he orders three months at a time and saves money." Then I realized he just has them mailed to him. Not FedExed or Express Mailed. That's kind of a giveaway.

[lilyzmom]

And having to sign for them...extra giveaway! Don't plan to have to deal with that ever again. So many reasons not to do it, why did we do it?