My Partner is a Crack addict

[divna9]

I met my boyfriend 2 years ago...he was honest with me from the beginning about his past history of crack addiction...amongst other stuff.  However, he had cleaned his life up, was so proud, worked fulltime and was totally sober from drugs and alcohol for around a year prior to meeting me.

Jump forward to now and we have a baby and since just after she was born he started relapsing, first with alcohol, then cocaine, then crack and most recently heroin.... He can stay clean for a max of 2/3 weeks and relapses again...he disappears for 24-48 hours at a time.....ive kicked him out a couple of times, for a week to 2 weeks but always let him back.

He always says hes done, never wants to do that again (i believe he doesnt "want" to). He wont cut off certain friends from his life, i even paid to change his phone number for him so they didnt have it. It was his idea....but days later he gave it to them again.

He hasnt held down a job in months and ive basically been supporting us all.  I also have a 5 year old from a previous marriage...i feel like such a failure.  He was most recently gone for the past week, and i let him come home a couple of nights ago, he actually called and told me he had relapsed and realised he couldnt look after himself without me, he needed me and begged me to let him come home....i agreed....which takes me to tonight.  He is gone again, hasnt answered his phone in hours.  Im so sick of being here alone and then letting him back, i just cant seem to find the strength to let him go completely.  Even though i know its whats best.....he also threatens me with taking me to court to get 50/50 custody of our daughter during the times he has been gone.  Currently I have sole custody.  He knows the idea of losing time with my daughter petrifies me so he knows exactly how to get what he wants from me.

I just dont know what to do anymore :(  Sorry this was so long.  I dont have family in this country as I moved here several years ago so its hard to talk or get help from anyone.

[divna9]

Thank you...i found that other forum after posting here, so i posted there too...i appreciate your comments

[Pat1956100]

The other forum is listed as Addiction: Living with an Addict

[Pat1956100]

I think deep down you know what you have to do.  Every time you take him back you are enabling him to continue his addiction.  He needs to decide for himself that he has to quit.  You can't make that decision for him.
Maybe if you kicked him out and stopped helping him, he would want to and have to get clean.
I really don't think that the courts would give custody or even visitation for that matter to a crack addict.  You need to start documenting things and make sure you have evidence so that you can prove he is one.
I know you love him but you sure don't want to watch him kill himself.
You need to start tough love on him right away and not let him come back.
I wish you all the best but you have to do it for your sake and for your childrens.
There is another forum on here for people who live with addicts.  Find it and read their stories.  I am sure it will help you.