Wanting a better life

[Bina77]

My question is, what is the best way to deal with the psychological effects of withdrawing from opiates. My life is not perfect, but I have a two year old and a 10 month old, and a wonderful husband that supports me 100 percent. But none of that matters when I am withdrawing. I feel like my whole life is caving in on me. I have no health insurance so anything that requires going to a doctor is pretty much out of the questions. I have been on and off of opiates for over 10 years, but this is the first time that I TRULY want to be set free completely. I am scared I will never be free from this horrible roller coaster. I need tips on how to deal with this emotionally, the physical withdrawls suck and you never think it will end, but as I know they don't last forever, it's the psychological part that I am scared that will never normal again. I

[Bina77]

Thank you so much for the advice. I can do this and I am going to do this!!!!!!!!

[Real180]

Hi -
Instead of beating around the bush with you I'm going to get straight to the point. There is really no way to get around the WDs its part of the deal when we get hooked. You really have only two choices either keep using and continue the merry-go-round of addiction or quit and end the cycle. There are no short cuts, optimal times, or ways around WDs that I know of -- one way or the other your going to have to face it head on and go through wall. It stinks but it's the reality of the situation that WE all faced or are facing..

Many of us (including myself) have families and careers and went through WDs -- it wasn't easy but we did it.. My addict brain told me for years that it wasn't a good time to quit (family obligations, work obligations, vacations, and etc) finally I said enough is enough and I quit.. I did relapse but ultimately I held on.. Based on your posts it looks like you are ready but your addict brain is telling you otherwise, I've been there so I know what you are going through.. You stated that your husband "supports you 100 percent" so that is a gift you need to take advantage of during your WDs. The bottom line is that you and only you has to make the decision to fully commit to ridding yourself of these pills.. There are four thing IMO that a person needs to do in order to quit using.

1) willingness and commitment to quit
2) support from loved ones who know your issues
3) cut your sources (dealer, or prescription source)
4) strong aftercare program

You HAVE the willingness and support and that is huge.. But you just need to add the commitment, cut your sources and develop a strong aftercare program. Once you are through the WDs you will see it was the first step in the process of recovery that you cannot be avoided... You have to decide for yourself if you are TRUELY ready to quit.

I wish you all the very best!!! You can do this!!!!

[Bina77]

I am on lortabs 10 mg. I have to take at least 3 at a time to get any relief. I actually went out and bought 8 of them this morning came home and took 3. I have off work today and tomorrow, but I have to goto work Tuesday. I am scared I can't not be going through withdrawls when I goto work. We all know how hard that can be when you don't even have the strength to take a shower.

[gnarly_1]

Hi...Well im with the others N/A has a great program and it will change the very way you think the mental part of the withdrawal is the hardest part where use to taking pills to feel good it will teach you how to live life on lifes terms just google N/A meetings in your area you wont regret it if it works for a old dope fiend like me it will work for any body
.............................................Gnarly.........................................

[61chevy]

Hi,
I agree with u and Jinx...   The mental part is a bear and to help cope, some kind of aftercare is critical.  Tons on this forum find help in na/aa meetings.  Follow Jinx recommendation n find some in ur area if possible.  Personally I am attending my church's classes on addiction n addictive behaviors.  Also on-line support.  I found a Christian site called "setting captives free" to b helpful for me.  There are others that can give u additional on line support.

I also include this forum as a HUGE place of support n encouragement.  Keep reading about other peoples challenges and u will know that u r not in this alone.  Read their victory posts and u will come to understand that the outcome is worth going thru the fight.  U, yourself, give encouragement to others going thru this and u in turn will b encouraged.

This is my second recovery.  The first I thot I could do this on my own.  Hence....now on 2nd, (& final), cause I have come to understand the importance of aftercare.

This is an old adage but I think it is valid....  And I shorten for space.  Essentially we have two roaring Lions in our head.  One is fighting for what is best for u, (recovery), while the other is fighting for ur downfall.  The one that will win is the one u feed the most.  Aftercare is critical.  Find something that suits your comfort level but please, find aftercare support.

[motye51]

I agree with jinx....N/A has saved my psychological life! The up and down emotional roller coaster that comes after the physical w/d can be scary! I actually remember telling someone "i think i have damaged my brain"... aftercare truly is the key to long term sobriety. If you want to lessen your chances of relapse....so u never have to w/d again, aftercare!!!!!

[Merri123]

Yes after care is so important. AA or NA. Many prefer AA. You can go to either. There are more regular meeting times for AA. Get the big book from them and read. Read the Bible if you have faith. Go to church. That connection helps so much with your mind set. I love the Sunday woman's group I go to then church at my nearby Fellowship church.

Also remember is is the drug that is making you scared and anxious. As you get thru the wds that will ease. What are you taking and how much. You can do this. Just look at your children's faces and that will remind you why. Put motivational sayings around the house so you can be strengthened when weak.

And keep coming here.

[Bina77]

Thank you so much for your advice. I have been on this horrible roller coaster for over 10 years. I lost custody of my 11 year old because of it. I now am married and have 2 more children and I do not want to ever lose them. It's like I can get clean only for a short time and then I end up back on them, hating every minute of it. I just want to stay off them forever!!!!!!!!

[Jinx_777]

i think the best thing for your mind is to find a NA meeting and be with people in person, who are going through what you are and you can see how happy people are in recovery.  
i would try and find an all women group, but that is just me.  i am more comfortable opening up to women.
NA is free.  you could try several different meetings until you find one you like.