Weaning off methadone cause depression?

[debsgotcurves]

Hi everyone, had a question. As some of you here know, I am tapering off methadone that I have been on for 5 1/2 years. I was at 550mg  until March and then I have slowly been weaning down.I am now at 110mg, dropping to 100 tomorrow, and I only take 1/2 of my takehomes 5 days a week. My question is can this tapering off the methadone cause depression to worsen?  I am bi-polar anyway, but haven't felt this depressed in a really, really long time. I am not currently on any meds other than the methadone because I am preparing to stop the methadone completely. I know methadone and all opioids really mess with brain chemistry.  I'm just so f'ing depressed and want so much to be off this crap. Feeling really alone.

[weaver71]

That's a fast taper and I understand your pressure. I also hugged my kids a lot, but I told them everything. They help keep an eye on me, they're so funny sometimes. They loved that I asked them for support and to keep an eye out for my  old behavior. They've started cracking jokes about it at this point, but they're watching me. You will love being a sober parent.

How have you dealt with the bipolar thing? I decided not to take meds until a year clean time. Now I have a year and don't think I'm going with meds yet. I can tell when an episode arises. I don't make decisions or start new projects when manic. I try to focus on finishing started projects. I find that reduces the depression. I can say that methadone made the bipolar unpredictable. My wife said I still cycled, but I was not as aware of it. Now, I feel it more, but my wife says I deal with it better. This is my latest issue I'm working on. It's nice to know I'm working on the real me. I treated the detox depression like a long bipolar cycle, I tried to relax and reminded myself it's only brain chemistry. It will pass.

I'm sorry you have so many issues at once. It will get better and you will be amazed at how things will start working for you. Get clean and the rest falls into place. Have you talked the that sub doctor? What kind of program is he providing?

[specialmom]

You do have a lot going on.  Issues like losing our home is more than a little stressful!  Hard to tell then that if it is the blues/stress from life or if it is depression in a clinical sense!  

Here I am talking about therapy to talk through some of this---  but that is probably not feasible for you at this point.  Store it away as a future goal.  Most therapists and psychologists work with a sliding fee scale for people who don't have insurance as well as there being clinical settings you can check out or a university center that provides services using psychologists and therapists in training with supervision with someone further along in their career.  Really can be valuable!  YWCA's are also great for resources in the mental health area.  

What is doable now is working on the anxiety that surrounds some of this.  Methods that really do work is exercise, meditation, yoga.  May sound dumb, but exercise will provide chemicals to the brain that help with mood and stress.  Meditation slows down our 'inner voice' that is working against us.  And yoga combines the two.  Even just learning the breathing techniques helps.  (try square breathing for example---  breath in for 4, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold 4, repeat).  

Anyway, I feel for you.  It's a hard time.  You're doing great.  It really is one day at a time.  Peace to you!!

[EvolverU]

Hey Debs,

Being isolated does s**k! I hear you. I also hear you on the eviction. I'm in the same boat. I admire your attitude. I hope the FB thing works! Just wanted you to know, once again, that you're not alone. Hold Fast, my friend!

[debsgotcurves]

My thanks to all of you. I have been dropping fast as the cost of the methadone is driving me into homelessness. I actually had to start a fundraiser on FB to try and raise the rent I'm behind so I don't get evicted in two weeks. So I have been dropping 10mgs every 3 or 4 days(20mg per week).  So far, it hasn't been too bad other than the depression. But when the stress gets high, like when the landlord calls again, I feel like wd's start instantly, I get sweaty, and itchy, and my body feels hot inside, etc. But I try to distract myself from it and it calms back down.  I am considering going to subs when I get under 30mgs. I think for me it's the best choice for a few months. I had been on 550mgspf methadon for over 4 years so that's a whole lot of crap to get out of my fat and tissues. Also, I think I have found a sub doc in my insurance plan, and they will cover the subs for $50 copay, so I can allow myself more time to taper without the high cost of the methadone.  
I want to do it right, and do it once and be done.  I do have physical issues with my back that will need  surgery later, but I have put them off because I fear there being no way to control the pain bc of my high methadone use for so long. After I am clean for a year or so I will worry about that.  For now, I feel good about getting off the methadone and being clean, it's just really messing with the depression.  Thank God that one look or smile from one of my kids can bring me out of it. They don't know about this, but they are the reason I keep fighting.  They are the reason I do everything!!
Thanks for the support everyone. It really does make a difference. Being alone su**s!  Glad you are all here!!!!!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Some awesome comments above.  I also wanted to mention that a lot of times addiction goes hand in hand with depression.  The pills are avoidance of the feelings that are hard to deal with.  I so recommend some talk therapy during this time and after you wean completely off.  Working on the total mental health picture is really essential to staying clean.  Incorporating some things like meditation and relaxation techniques can be helpful.  But honestly, I've found the best thing to have a professional (as in a therapist or even better, psychologist) to sort out emotions, underlying issues that drive the addiction, etc. is most beneficial.

Lots of luck to you and I wish you continued success!

[1sorryperson]

Hi Debs,
I agree with weaver on slowing down the taper, especailly if drpression is intorrerable.  I remember when my depression rolled in like a storm in the afternoons,  some days was hidious, but seemed to fade after my wife or kids slowed up.  I also hid in the dark during the depression, looking back i think sunshine would have been wiser.   post on here during depression, it'll help talking with some of us that know what's happening.

[weaver71]

For me, yes, methadone made me depressed, cutting my dose made it worse. You also have a lot of real issues you're dealing with, that makes it worse. Remember you're tapering down, don't let your feelings distract you. Know that you are doing the right thing and you will improve. Taking away my numbing meds let me feel my pain and anxiety more. Dealing with my personal issues helped reduce my detox symptoms. For example, once I truly accepted that I was going to quit and never could use again, my RLS reduced. A lot of people taper reeeaaaallllll slow and don't seem  to battle with depression like I did, but I could never taper, the depression pushed me to use. You may need to slow the taper down. Just keep moving forward, it will get better.

[debsgotcurves]

Thanks, hon!

[VICourageous]

Hi Deb glad to see you or shall I say read you. So you are still on some Dones. Well The Depression for me took many, many months to kick in. I called it my yo-yo ride. I hated it!! It does take time to balance back.I have not felt depressed in a while. Just remember what the drugs do. We use then a lot to feel good for any reason we might have emotionally too.Just try to stay re-directed from thinking on how you feel. It is easier said then done I know. But I so find it true now. It took me awhile to get here myself. I wish you the best there Deb. Just keep stepping forward you will be fine!!
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