What can i do??

[Cassie415]

Hey.
I was on here a couple months ago and then I started doin oc again. Ive been doing about two 80's a day for two months now, ive lost a couple thousand of dollars, and i absolutly hate this and wanna stop. When im on it im like ya! im gona stop this is my last line, but as soon as it wears off i cant stop myself and i buy more. Im in college right now where i previously couldnt get it but ive found hooks here so now i do it every day but its so expensive where here that i have been spending thousands of dollars. im going home for summer in 5 days and i wanna stop so bad but i know so many people at home who sell it and i know im not strong enough to delete their numbers or not call them. I am so scared im gonna do it every day of summer and i dont know how i can stop. I love my family so much and this would devastate them so telling them is out of the question and so is rehab. does anyone have any ideas as to what the hell i can do to stop this ???

[Cassie415]

Thanks. What made me use today is that I woke up feeling like ****. I have to unpack my dorm room this weekend and study for a final that I have in two days and I just couldn't afford to be coming off oc so in my head I told myself I will put it off a couple more days.

[LADYDI4185]

Hi, What made you use oc today?  I am not sure about "feeling normal" again, but from the posts I have read you will feel great!  I am currently trying to taper off of hydro's and I must say it is very difficult but i know in my heart this is not the way i want to live.  You are young and have your entire life ahead of you, you can do this!  Do not beat yourself up for using again, just try to not use in the future- easier said than done!!!!  Tomorrow is a new day!  As someone posted " one pill is not enough and 10,000 it still not enough.  Do this for yourself.  Ladydi485

[Cassie415]

I messed up and did some more oc today, but when i was doing it I had a thought that I wanted to ask you guys about. I dont know if this even makes sense but, when I do oc now it prettty much just brings me back from feeling ****** to normal happiness. It used to make me super high but it doesnt really anymore. Does that mean if i stopped oc adn got back to normal I would feel the same way off the oc once i had completely gone through withdrawls or will i never be able to feel as naturally happy as i once was able to?

Also, i have 16mg of suboxone...but i wanted to know what you guys thought about that. DO you feel its just liek a cop out and avoidance of withdrawling?

[genevive333]

u have to read the dopamine article on the health pages, It will put everything in perspective

[gizzy32]

Almost all of us here have said the exact same thing, "this is the last time, then I am stopping". I did that for years and believe me I tried to quit, i was a complete mess and my life went downhill. I hit bottoms and still could not stop cause i kept saying just one more time. I am only being honest so I hope my words don't sound harsh, i promise they are not intended that way. Thinking you can just stop and get no help or make no changes, your chances of success are very very low. You don't have to do this alone and you are not pathetic, addiction is more than willpower. Once you accept you are powerless, then you can make a plan to beat this. Many of us had to learn the hard way and some don't make it out so please get some type of help/aftercare and live a happy drug free life. good luck

[jdog13]

cassie, im sorry to hear about your relapse. I just graduated college and somehow made it through school taking 3 80's a day. im 25 and finnaly manned up enough to tell my family about my problem, and it was the best thing I have ever done to confront the disease. I really recommend telling the people you love because they can support you and hold you hand during withdrawls and the hell associated with that. I am in the process of getting clean right now and if I can do it, you can do it. so please tell your family and after the initial shock, they will help you and support you in your decision to quit for good.

[Ella789]

Hon, you really got to want to quit more than you want to use.  It will get to where you will hit rock bottom and then it is hell.  Please take the others advice and in a weeks time you will start to feel better.  It is tough so be prepared, but most of all be commited to your quit.  Tell your family you have a stomach virus or ate something that didn't agree with you.  Stock up on the Immodium, and viatamins, and drink fluids and eat, even if you don't want to.   Keep posting.......

Ella

[Cassie415]

it's not that im not totally committed to this, i have just told myself so many times that this is the last line and im finally stopping, and then two days later i go right back to it for like 3 weeks so i just have no faith in myself anymore that i can stop, its pathetic. i feel pathetic because i dont rely on anyone but myself and at this moment i feel like im failing myslef

[gizzy32]

With all due respect it does not sound like your totally committed to this. You said your not strong enough to delete there #'s or calls, you can't tell your family and you won't go to rehab. I understand how you feel and the grip drugs have on us, but if you really want to do this and STAY clean, you will need some help and probably some changes. If your going back home and try to hang out with those that use, it's almost certain you will use. Addiction is a progressive disease and will only get worse, so come up with a plan and make this happen. Your still young and can fix this before you lose it all. Best of luck and please keep posting, you will get some great advice here.

[genevive333]

I know exactly how u feel. Talk abou thousands of dollars.       I owe so much $ because of oxy!!! Doctor prescbd  years ago for RA and fibrom. Used to thru my prescrip in a week then the other 3 weeks before I could get my refill, thousands of dollars gone. Always got them thru doctors and pharmacies, just happen to have acces to opiates from another country were docs don't even know what oxyc is. Dangerous, super expensive and easy to get.I know we cannot funtion without it. No energy, no drive, no nothing. But it goes away, u need to do the amino acid protocol, to teach your brain torewire itself. Remember I pill is too many, 10,000 pills r not enough. Go to the health pages and get the info. Get energy drinks eat things that give u energy. I know is way easier to take an oxy, seems like all the problems go away, is an illusion, u know that. Please, I have totally legit reasons to take opiates, but I can't live in this prison anymore, please don't do this to yourself. Get close to God, he will deliver u, please, stop...