What do do next?

[Teuful_Hunden]

My wife is addicted to benzodiazepines. She knows it. Her psychiatrist has her on fairly high doses in large quantity of alprazolam and lorazepam both being habit forming. She does not follow the doc's prescribed regiment. The month script last between 6 to 10 days and then it's a roller-coaster of high and low and up and down while she is detoxing from the amount in her system. I have tried speaking to the physician but her is under direction from my wife to not disclose any information about her care.  What can I do? If I even try to breach the topic with her of her pills it turns into ww3. I can't do nothing but I am not sure what to do next....

[jifmoc]

Hi. Your wife is on a sh!tload of benzos. She is an addict based on everything you wrote. I agree w/ the above regarding nar-anon or alanon. YOU need help. It will give you clarity and allow you to detach and see this problem in a different light. 15 years is a long time to deal with this, I am sure you are worn out. Her daily activities have very little to do w/ addiction. Hell, Elton John was in active addiction for 25 years and he was beyond busy w/ creative pursuits. Same w/ Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Addiction doesn't care if we are working, unemployed, single, married, rich, famous, poor whatever. She is obviously self-medicating and refuses to face, in a healthy way, she issues. This will only get worse my friend. And, if she drinks alcohol w/ those benzos she has a death wish. Don't mean to scare you, just want you to know how serious this is.

Please please go to alanon or nar-anon and get support.

[vicki595]

Something else I'm thinking about...Why is she taking both Xanax AND Ativan?  They are both short acting benzos and are not generally prescribed together. Are you sure this is what she's taking?   The other thing that's strange to me is that she's so great when not on any meds at all but bedridden when she is? It's usually the opposite that's true...

I feel for your situation, friend. Your family is in crisis and needs some help very quickly.

[atthebeach]

I absolutely did as Vicki suggests. When my husband was in the throngs of his addiction I called his doctor and told him I understand the confidentiality laws but wanted to let him know that my husband was abusing every med he was given.I told him my husbands history (which many times our loved ones leave out). I also kind of let him know it was also his responsibility as the prescribing physician to be concerned for my husband's safety.The doctor thanked me for calling and making him aware of the situation. He suggested I come to his next appt with him. My husband fought me tooth and nail but I went.
Your wife's safety is of utmost importance.
Please for yourself look for al-anon or nar-anon meetings.
You have to learn not to enable her.
Sending prayers and support. There is always hope.
Debbie

[vicki595]

It sounds like she binges. Is that right?  She's got a serious problem going and I'm concerned that her psych doctor isn't treating her underlying illness of manic/depression. Could be why she over medicates.

You and your son need some support and she needs to be told that her behavior is destructive to the family. I don't care if it's a war...she has a responsibility to the people who love her!  And a responsibility to herself...

Now, her doctor can't discuss her with you but he can certainly listen. Tell him what she's doing and how much she takes of her meds per day. It's so dangerous and he has a responsibility to her to make sure she's safe.  We've had some unfortunate deaths on this forum due to Xanax and accidental overdose. I'm scared for you so, please do some intervention with her doctor and use all of us for support.   Stay in touch-

[Teuful_Hunden]

In regards to her day to day,  when no meds are on board she is amazing. She has no problem with the household, finances, our son, me, and everything else people do in a healthy relationship. If she has her way my son and I never go with out. Her caretaker personlaity doesn't allow her.But then the meds get refilled and its like night and day. She was a Paramedic but the job got the better of her and she resigned. Currently she manages a finance office and has the reputation of a hard *** who can get the tough jobs done. For my time in the Marines she was a stay at home mom due to my deployments overseas and for the most part was ok. Medicated, but ok. then on April 3rd 2007 she overdosed and my son and I found her on the bathroom floor. CPR, EMS and a 4 day observatory stay in the hospital later she was given an amytriptaline / Ativan /xanax combo and has  had serious problems with taking them as prescribed. Due to the combo knocking her out for days on end. I have been able to talk her out of using the elavil but the other two still have hooks firmly in her. She filled the two of them on the 7th this month and has call in sick to work every day since. Night and day difference in my wife.

[Teuful_Hunden]

To answer to both CR SEASIDE and jlannspr...
My wife and I have been together for 15 years. For the past 10 I have been in the USMC. We have battled with this issue for our entire relationship. She has had dependency problems off and on the entire time. She is a diagnosed manic depressive who had a very traumatic childhood that to this day still causes her problems with certain aspects of life. Through the multitude of other doctors she has been prescribed everything from geodon to Haldol to toradol to amytriptaline and at least 20 others over the years. Nothing in her words "helps with my head". She was put on a 72 hr psych hold at a hospital a little over 2yrs ago for cutting herself quite severely and detoxed. She was good for 18ish months and then the sneaking of pills began again. We have tried me monitoring and only leaving out the daily amount but she inevitably asks for more and when that answer is no she turns to hostility. I don't want this to break us but I don't know what if anything can help.

[jlannspr]

Sounds like she is in denial that she has a problem right now. For most, until she is ready to admit she has a problem then she will not fully address the issue and commit to getting better. How long has she been on the meds? How long have you been married?

[CRSeaside]

Does her Pdoc have her on other meds? Benzos can be managed as part of a cocktail   For example I have ADHD and bipolar disorder.
  I take .025 mg Klonipin 2  x pr day. ( I need to cut pill in 1/2). This works in concert w the other medications I'm taking. Maybe she's not getting the benefit of the Benzos as she's not on other medication.
   Do you know her diagnosis?  I understand she's an addict now, but she needs more help. CBT taught by a psychologist is a good idea.
  Does she work? Manage the household affairs?  How is she functioning.
When a person mis uses medication it's usually because something is missing from their lives.  See if you can get her properly diagnosed.

[Teuful_Hunden]

she is on 1mg xanax 3x daily and 5mg Ativan 2x daily per the doc instructions. but they are not followed

[atthebeach]

Cold turkey from benzos is dangerous. She is at risk for seizures.
I would tell your wife you fear for her life and safety. She if she would let
You go to a doctor appt with her. If she knows she addicted and goes through her scripts so quickly each month maybe together with the doctor a plan can be devised.
How many mg's is she on?

[CRSeaside]

Dear Teaful, the first thing I would do is join a support group for family & friends thru NA MI