What should I do??

[addicted32]

Hi
I'm doing okay.  I'm tappering still.  I'm now down to 20mg a day.  I take 2 10mgs of oxy every 12 hours.  I have the chills and my nose is running its very embaressing in public my nose just starts pouring and its sad why.  How are you doing are you still clean?  Very proud of you.  I tried cold turkey and I couldn't handle it I did it for four days.  My new problem is my fiance.  I will admit that I hate pot and I hate the way it makes me feel and I just don't like it.  But when the dr dropped my dose I started to feel that depression and I know that my fiance smokes pot and I asked him for a hit and I feel like a hipocrit because I tell him not to smoke it.I asked him for a hit so I would sleep and eat.  He has 4 DUI's and has had to go to rehab himself.  He still drinks but claims not nearly as much as he used to.  I got really mad because yesterday I watched him get a pint of vodka and drink half the bottle.  After I heard the ice against the glass I got up and started screaming at him.  He said relax he wants to enjoy his saturday night and hes at home and not in a bar.  Then he went outside and smoked a bowl.   I get mad because we have a 3 month old and I feel I'm always responsible like I have to watch everything.  He works and says he likes to smoke pot when he works out but I see him doing it more then that and I screamed "Its impossible to stay sober with you" He just says I'm over reacting.  Am I?  I honestly now wish i was a pot instead of a pill addict.  Even thou pot is not my drug of choice its still safer then oxycontin or vicodin.  People don't have withdrawls from pot thats his argument.  Just wondering if I should leave him?  Don't think I can deal with him getting high and I can't anymore.  I don't get buzzed off of what I'm taking now and its a struggle not to take extra for a buzz.

[addicted32]

you did thanks

[ang_811]

Ur r doing really well, I'm also tappering down from suboxone. So I know what ur going thru. But as with the fiancé I can't say I know what ur going thru... What I do know is while ur trying to do better for urself , it seems u can't do that with him around doing drugs, even if it is just pot, it's still a drug and yes u defntly can go thru wds from it.  I sounds to me that u have already talked about his drug use and alcohol use and he doesn't wasn't to change? Maybe u need to think about how important u getting clean is? Think about once u r clean and sober is he going to be a trigger? I had a best freind n the similar situation as urself and sorry to say that they're not togeather anymore... But she's still clean!  I hope I've helped some....