Aa
What to do now?
I've painted myself into a corner with this heroin addiction. I snort and have been doing it on and off for 4 years. The longest I've stayed clean is 8 mos and then 6 mos. Now I've been using for the past 8 mos. and cannot seem to stop for more than 2 days! It gets harder and harder. This disease is progressive for sure. What can I do? I really feel like it will NEVER end. Help!
ye it's great but i can not sleep at all...and if i do i have bad nightmares.....other then that i'm ok....but thr hard part is over....thanx for the post man....;
As I've said here on some other posts, I am a lifelong sufferer of major depressive episodes and have been on various medications for depression since 1993 (that is, when I wasn't abusing junk and ignoring my "legit" depression meds).
In June of 2001, after my next-to-last rehab, I was placed on Effexor XR (venlafaxine). Eventually, I was up to almost 200 mg a day. The first month or so on this drug was really weird. I seemed to have NO emotions, I mean, about ANYTHING. It was kind of odd and unsettling, but since at the time I was coming off of one of the worst depressive cycles in my life, I didn't complain.
Eventually, the feeling of "nothing" subsided. Amazingly, I actually continued taking this drug while on my last relapse (spring 2002), so I never knew what it would be like to stop taking it until that August.
I found myself then without prescription drug insurance coverage and the realization that my month's supply was over $200.00 cash. Well, between that fact and the "male problems" the drug was giving me (initially, not so bad, but at that time, it was to the point where I could do everything BUT have an orgasm. . .not to get too personal, but kinda took the fun out of it, if you can sympathize) -- I decided to stop taking it, weaning myself rapidly down from five 37.5 mg caps daily to zero inside of two weeks.
Big, big mistake. I can quite honestly say (and you guys can appreciate the OOMPH of this statement more than the Average Bears) that this was the ABSOLUTE WORST withdrawal I have ever had. . .from anything. As miserable as I was, in no other withdrawal did I:
-- feel like I was insane
-- have what felt like "shocks" every few seconds along EVERY NERVE in my body
-- want to kill others
and so on. I realized something was really, really wrong one day when I looked into the living room and saw my two kids playing and wondered for a minute who they were and what they were doing in my house.
Well, went back to my doc (who was flabbergasted at what I'd done and said I should have simply come to him for samples if I was having trouble paying for the meds -- this guy is a keeper, folks, lemme tell ya) and after I expressed my desire to come off of Effexor anyway (I could never keep taking it after the nightmare I'd been through), he gradually weaned me off of it by introducing Prozac during the withdrawal, which made the symptoms almost completely disappear. Still on the Prozac, BTW, and for the record seems to be working even better than the Effexor ever did. . .much less of that disconnected, flattened affect feeling. And less "male trouble" as well. ;)
Anyway, sorry for another novel-length rant. . .but I know many of us with substance-abuse issues also have mental health issues, with depression being a very common one among "our little group". Before you start ANY meds, even for depression, make SURE your doctor knows your FULL history (as mine does) and that he or she is knowledgable AND honest enough to give you the "real deal" on how any proposed meds will affect you -- especially concerning the issue of withdrawal. We've all put ourselves in that situation by our own hand before -- the last thing we want is to end up hooked on something we thought wasn't going to "get" us.
Peace,
Kurt
In June of 2001, after my next-to-last rehab, I was placed on Effexor XR (venlafaxine). Eventually, I was up to almost 200 mg a day. The first month or so on this drug was really weird. I seemed to have NO emotions, I mean, about ANYTHING. It was kind of odd and unsettling, but since at the time I was coming off of one of the worst depressive cycles in my life, I didn't complain.
Eventually, the feeling of "nothing" subsided. Amazingly, I actually continued taking this drug while on my last relapse (spring 2002), so I never knew what it would be like to stop taking it until that August.
I found myself then without prescription drug insurance coverage and the realization that my month's supply was over $200.00 cash. Well, between that fact and the "male problems" the drug was giving me (initially, not so bad, but at that time, it was to the point where I could do everything BUT have an orgasm. . .not to get too personal, but kinda took the fun out of it, if you can sympathize) -- I decided to stop taking it, weaning myself rapidly down from five 37.5 mg caps daily to zero inside of two weeks.
Big, big mistake. I can quite honestly say (and you guys can appreciate the OOMPH of this statement more than the Average Bears) that this was the ABSOLUTE WORST withdrawal I have ever had. . .from anything. As miserable as I was, in no other withdrawal did I:
-- feel like I was insane
-- have what felt like "shocks" every few seconds along EVERY NERVE in my body
-- want to kill others
and so on. I realized something was really, really wrong one day when I looked into the living room and saw my two kids playing and wondered for a minute who they were and what they were doing in my house.
Well, went back to my doc (who was flabbergasted at what I'd done and said I should have simply come to him for samples if I was having trouble paying for the meds -- this guy is a keeper, folks, lemme tell ya) and after I expressed my desire to come off of Effexor anyway (I could never keep taking it after the nightmare I'd been through), he gradually weaned me off of it by introducing Prozac during the withdrawal, which made the symptoms almost completely disappear. Still on the Prozac, BTW, and for the record seems to be working even better than the Effexor ever did. . .much less of that disconnected, flattened affect feeling. And less "male trouble" as well. ;)
Anyway, sorry for another novel-length rant. . .but I know many of us with substance-abuse issues also have mental health issues, with depression being a very common one among "our little group". Before you start ANY meds, even for depression, make SURE your doctor knows your FULL history (as mine does) and that he or she is knowledgable AND honest enough to give you the "real deal" on how any proposed meds will affect you -- especially concerning the issue of withdrawal. We've all put ourselves in that situation by our own hand before -- the last thing we want is to end up hooked on something we thought wasn't going to "get" us.
Peace,
Kurt
Hippee, I'm sorry about your losses in such a short time. That I do understand. It got me too. I am also concerned about having to go and get surgery and needing something for the initial pain. I can't stand oing through the pain of the initial withdrawl again. It really really hurts. Because I am so addicted I sure hope that a two day stint of the big guns then going down to pills from there then hopefully within five days from there going to Nsaids will help. Possibly Toradol. I may be overestimating the amount of pain I can take but this withdrawl is so incredibly painful it is one heck of a deterent. I don't want to be in pain but w/d hurts possibly more. I hope I can be strong. I don't know I never tried before. Best not to worry about it and keep going one day at a time but the thought still scares me. Anyone know how to stop the racing thoughts?
Methman - hmmm sexmares? sounds better than nightmares. I am wondering if the nightmares are something that is specifically a part of methadone w/d. I am not getting much more than 3-6 hours of sleep and that is throughout the day. I don't have many nightmares though and I count myself lucky. I didn't sleep well for ten years though so I am just actually amazed that I can sleep at all. It is actually amazing to me that I can fall asleep at all. I was always jealous of those that could. One word of concern though. I don't know if anyone is on benzodiazapines (generally any medication that ends in "am") but they themselves do cause restless sleep and nightmares. Had that for about ten years because of them. Now off it is less.
I am again paranoid about SSRIs. I was prescribed Zoloft for depression. I always just assumed that the depression was circumstantial. It's not like I didn't have reasons for depression. I took it (zoloft) for maybe three days and won't take it anymore due to the w/d sx I have read about on this and other boards. I simply can't take w/ding from anything again. I might need it later but for now I am fine without it. Anyone w/d from SSRIs here? Is there anything that we don't withdraw from? Don't think so - I know I was always concerned about the SSRIs as the blocked reuptake of seratonin causes increased levels of seratonin to be in our system and at first that is fine but as with anything else I believe our body acclamates and since there is more seratonin available, the body takes it as not needing to produce as much and eventually we are back to the same amount of seratonin however when we stop taking the reuptake inhibitors, wse have adjusted to not needing to make as much so we have to go through a period of time where the seratonin levels are extremely low. I suppose that is why the taper is so very important with this class of drugs. I am terrible at tapering though. Kind of an all or none type.
What I would like to know is how others deal with paranoia if indeed this is something common in w/d. Could be it is just part of my inherent personality I don't know. Do others get paranoid? If so how do you tolerate it and adjust? Best to all, especially all that are in the first days of the w/d process. I wanted to die! I didn't even have the most pain until day three. That lasted day 3 to day 5. That was the most terrible experience I have ever had! Possibly more painful than 3rd degree burns. Each day has been progressively better but still painful. Thanks hippee for acknowledging me. Was really nice. Good luck and keep the faith.
Methman - hmmm sexmares? sounds better than nightmares. I am wondering if the nightmares are something that is specifically a part of methadone w/d. I am not getting much more than 3-6 hours of sleep and that is throughout the day. I don't have many nightmares though and I count myself lucky. I didn't sleep well for ten years though so I am just actually amazed that I can sleep at all. It is actually amazing to me that I can fall asleep at all. I was always jealous of those that could. One word of concern though. I don't know if anyone is on benzodiazapines (generally any medication that ends in "am") but they themselves do cause restless sleep and nightmares. Had that for about ten years because of them. Now off it is less.
I am again paranoid about SSRIs. I was prescribed Zoloft for depression. I always just assumed that the depression was circumstantial. It's not like I didn't have reasons for depression. I took it (zoloft) for maybe three days and won't take it anymore due to the w/d sx I have read about on this and other boards. I simply can't take w/ding from anything again. I might need it later but for now I am fine without it. Anyone w/d from SSRIs here? Is there anything that we don't withdraw from? Don't think so - I know I was always concerned about the SSRIs as the blocked reuptake of seratonin causes increased levels of seratonin to be in our system and at first that is fine but as with anything else I believe our body acclamates and since there is more seratonin available, the body takes it as not needing to produce as much and eventually we are back to the same amount of seratonin however when we stop taking the reuptake inhibitors, wse have adjusted to not needing to make as much so we have to go through a period of time where the seratonin levels are extremely low. I suppose that is why the taper is so very important with this class of drugs. I am terrible at tapering though. Kind of an all or none type.
What I would like to know is how others deal with paranoia if indeed this is something common in w/d. Could be it is just part of my inherent personality I don't know. Do others get paranoid? If so how do you tolerate it and adjust? Best to all, especially all that are in the first days of the w/d process. I wanted to die! I didn't even have the most pain until day three. That lasted day 3 to day 5. That was the most terrible experience I have ever had! Possibly more painful than 3rd degree burns. Each day has been progressively better but still painful. Thanks hippee for acknowledging me. Was really nice. Good luck and keep the faith.
I'm with you on the the sleep problems, brother. For a while there, I was beginning to think that sleep was an over rated function of life. And the nightmares? Why couldn't they have been "Sexmares"?
"Doctor, my sexmares seem to be subsiding. Could you hook me up on another Detox?"
Peace,
Methman
"Doctor, my sexmares seem to be subsiding. Could you hook me up on another Detox?"
Peace,
Methman
it went cold turkey, with the help of thomas's receip and it was a lot easier with the vitamins, i had tried to quit on my own many times but the lack of energy and severe depression
got me every time , no to mention the restless legs that
made sleeping very difficult.
i am now 13 months clean thanks to everyones support here
and all the information i learned about pain meds.
i was clean in na for 16 years, and had to take pain meds for rotator cuff operations, when my brother and motherinlaw and sponser all died withen 6monts i started abuseing the pain meds
and at the time i was clueless as to what the consequenses
were going to be, having the life sucked right out of me.
kep up the good work and keep posting.
peace hippy my prayers are with you.
got me every time , no to mention the restless legs that
made sleeping very difficult.
i am now 13 months clean thanks to everyones support here
and all the information i learned about pain meds.
i was clean in na for 16 years, and had to take pain meds for rotator cuff operations, when my brother and motherinlaw and sponser all died withen 6monts i started abuseing the pain meds
and at the time i was clueless as to what the consequenses
were going to be, having the life sucked right out of me.
kep up the good work and keep posting.
peace hippy my prayers are with you.
Wow,
Thank you so very much for that info. I think I will NOT take the zoloft. Funny, I did spend a couple of years in medical school before life events and my drug mess made it so that I needed to stop but I never even guessed that there was a ssri withdrawl other than my knowledge of systems and my suspicions. We were not told about this and regularly very little is taught about drug withdrawl. We only had one full semester of Pharmacolgy which in reality please remember you must look out for medication interactions and side effects yourself. The pharmacist is a great person to ask but most of the time you must double check to make sure there are no contraindications between meds or any disorder you may have (ie. my seizure disorder). always read the insert but remember the drug companies are required to add any possible side efect to eliminate possibilities of lawsuits so these may seem like they are of little help. The pharmacist generally knows what the most common side effects are. Another great resource is "poisen control" which has information about meds in addition to being able to identify any medication you might have by simply telling them the color shape and numbers/letters on the pill. Be sure to be vigilent. Enough preaching, sorry.
I had heard of the side effect of not being able to ejaculate. There is a term for that but I forgot what it is. All I can say is that if I had a significant other that had the same side effect I too woulld try and be understanding but it would be frustrating. Sexual problems following medication intake is one of the top reasons patients are not compliant. Who can blame us? The initial time period with this problem was probably quite enjoyable for your partner though hehe.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It helps me to decide not to take the zoloft. If I become suicidal or something then I will reasses but I hate withdrawl. Forget it! Especially that it sounds so terrible!
OH... The SSRIs including Prozac, zoloft, celexa I think and so on, there is a program for those that can't afford it. Your psychitrist must simply sign a form and send it in explaining that you don't have the monies and you NEED the medication an the drug companies themselves will send a three month suppply to the psychitrist. You must ask about the program. I assure you it does exist so try not to find yourself decreasing too rapidly.
Feel much better today. Roller coaster I guess but this, day 18 is the first time I have actually felt semi good! wow.
One other thing, sorry. Lomotil which is a prescribed medication for the runs, does have a small amount of narcotic content in it. It also has atropine (or something like that) I think to avoid abuse. It is such a small amount that it might help the withdrawl but taken too long it could prolong w/d a little. It has a very small amount of meperidine/demerol in it I believe. Small amount. Narcs bind us as anyone here knows.
Thanks all and best to you Kurt. Thanks again.
Thank you so very much for that info. I think I will NOT take the zoloft. Funny, I did spend a couple of years in medical school before life events and my drug mess made it so that I needed to stop but I never even guessed that there was a ssri withdrawl other than my knowledge of systems and my suspicions. We were not told about this and regularly very little is taught about drug withdrawl. We only had one full semester of Pharmacolgy which in reality please remember you must look out for medication interactions and side effects yourself. The pharmacist is a great person to ask but most of the time you must double check to make sure there are no contraindications between meds or any disorder you may have (ie. my seizure disorder). always read the insert but remember the drug companies are required to add any possible side efect to eliminate possibilities of lawsuits so these may seem like they are of little help. The pharmacist generally knows what the most common side effects are. Another great resource is "poisen control" which has information about meds in addition to being able to identify any medication you might have by simply telling them the color shape and numbers/letters on the pill. Be sure to be vigilent. Enough preaching, sorry.
I had heard of the side effect of not being able to ejaculate. There is a term for that but I forgot what it is. All I can say is that if I had a significant other that had the same side effect I too woulld try and be understanding but it would be frustrating. Sexual problems following medication intake is one of the top reasons patients are not compliant. Who can blame us? The initial time period with this problem was probably quite enjoyable for your partner though hehe.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It helps me to decide not to take the zoloft. If I become suicidal or something then I will reasses but I hate withdrawl. Forget it! Especially that it sounds so terrible!
OH... The SSRIs including Prozac, zoloft, celexa I think and so on, there is a program for those that can't afford it. Your psychitrist must simply sign a form and send it in explaining that you don't have the monies and you NEED the medication an the drug companies themselves will send a three month suppply to the psychitrist. You must ask about the program. I assure you it does exist so try not to find yourself decreasing too rapidly.
Feel much better today. Roller coaster I guess but this, day 18 is the first time I have actually felt semi good! wow.
One other thing, sorry. Lomotil which is a prescribed medication for the runs, does have a small amount of narcotic content in it. It also has atropine (or something like that) I think to avoid abuse. It is such a small amount that it might help the withdrawl but taken too long it could prolong w/d a little. It has a very small amount of meperidine/demerol in it I believe. Small amount. Narcs bind us as anyone here knows.
Thanks all and best to you Kurt. Thanks again.
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