When does it get better

[rmrobbie11]

I've been taking vicodin for about 5 months. I did a slow taper and was only taking half of a 5/500mg twice a day. Half in the morning half at night. Every 12 hours. I took my last half on Saturday morning at 4:30 am. It's been 55 hours and I still feel nauseus, diharrea and a little anxiety. When will I start to feel better? The nausea is bad enough, but this anxiety is killing me. I just want it to be over.

[rmrobbie11]

Hey everyone. I'm back. Feeling a little better, but overall still *****. My anxiety is still here. Not quite as bad as it was, but still enough to drive me crazy. I have been taking one a day womens multivitamin and drinking boost high protien shakes. Those are the only things I can keep down right now. I can eat something small real late at night. That's when my anxiety goes away enough for my stomach to settle down. I am also taking amino acid tryptophan to boost up my serotonin levels. I think this might be the reason I am so anxious and depressed. I am also taking an amino called L-theanine for stress relief and anxiety. I won't know if they are working or not for a few more days as it takes a while to build up a certain level and to notice effects. Just wanted to check in and let everyone know I'm still hanging in there. I'm on day 11 and it is rough. I think PAWS has set in and that's why I feel this bad. My physical withdrawal was thankfully not bad at all. Once I tapered down and jumped, I hardly felt anything except this awful anxiety, depression and loss of appetite. I'm hoping my brain will right itself soon. I know it takes time but my poor husband is getting tired of driving me around all the time.

[lulu747]

I agree with VIcki...Food really helps and the peppermint tea is the first thing I consumed...

I am confused as to why you think the natural supplements do the same thing to your brain as benzos?  Vitamins and supplements feed your body and your brain...they don't alter brain chemistry.  

Try chicken soup and crackers...even if you don't feel like eating, getting your blood sugars up will make you feel miles better.  Whenever I get that sick feeling I eat a small snack and it makes it better (toast and PB, crackers, bananas,etc.)

As for what I said about the blood and oxygen-I didn't mean it as a medically measurable thing...Anxiety and shallow breathing are a vicious cycle and one begets the other.  Deep breathing and even listening to a meditation cd or online might really, really help you.  It can't hurt to try.  My anxiety is less everyday.  Actually, I haven't had hardly any at all in the past few days...Nothing that couldn't be solved by a walk, deep breaths, or distraction.  Hope you get some relief....Lu

[vicki595]

You know what?  I think the lack of food is causing a lot of this anxiety. I think it's blood sugar. I'm not sure how you can fix that because everything is making you sick but can you try slowly to get some food in?  If you start with sweetened peppermint tea and take sips and a little piece of toast,etc...maybe that would help...try to coax some food in...just a thought...

[rmrobbie11]

Sorry my damn phone posted before I was done. Hamma thank you for getting back to me and sharing your story with me. I know it's unrealistic, but I just wanted some type of answer as to when this hell will be over. I don't have any more of the physical symptoms just this damn anxiety. It's causing my stomach to be so upset that I can't eat properly. I thankfully can still drink Gatorade, but if I don't eat obviously that's not good. I've tried anti nausea meds that ironically make me more nauseas. Everything other people have suggested like home remedies and stuff, they effect your brain the same way benzos do and I don't want to do that. I'm sorry I know I'm rambling. I've been doing that a lot lately. I hate not knowing when this will be over. If it doesn't get better soon I'm gonna end up back in the hospital again. And I really don't want to do that. I hate hospitals.

[rmrobbie11]

Thank you Both for responding. I know it's not my blood oxygen level simply because my mother in law stays with us and is on oxygen and has a thing that checks her blood ox level. I use it to check mine all the time lately just to make sure my vitals are all good. My blood pressures a little low from not eating right, but other than that I'm ok. Hamma

[Hamma1200]

I know it seems unbearable and at times you might feel helpless but I promise you this: it will pass. I have been there a few times now and just recently came off my last Oxy binge (I want to talk a little more about my history but first I will try and ease your concern about the time it will take to pass). I am currently in day 4. I did sleep last night for a few hours (with no sleeping pill). I thought that after my first "natural" sleep I would be sweet. How I was wrong. While all the physical WD symptoms have gone apart for weird smells and a little lack of energy I still dont fell 100%. Was quite anxious this morning after I got up....switched on the TV...watched some NFL shows and then forced myself to hit the gym. I said to myself...yeah this will suck but no pain no gain...just get into it. I was right. I feel good now. I love the sweating and the sauna....when I was jogging it was painful and I just kept going for ONE more MINUTE. I got up to 15 and almost collapsed. I then did weights. I am happy with myself for doing this and you know what...thats the whole point! You have been using an external drug to do all the pleasure building / reward processes the brain normally does on its own so you need to remember what its like to make YOURSELF happy and let your body naturally reward you! Again...I know it might seem too much but this is just your brain playing games....force it. Your will is stronger than some damn pill and even your body. Let your will power break the drug and the stupid WD not the other way around :)

I will admit that this binge was not that long but I never have taken as much as I did this time.

My history with this stupid drug. Discovered the IR in 2005 as a GREAT hangover cure. I was taking 5-15mg the day following a big night out...and that was it.....PERFECT. I thought WOW I have found the ultimate hangover cure. I then discovered Oxycontin as a result of a nagging back injury. The doc gave me 40mg twice a day. From my experience with the IR I knew that 40mg was a massive dose (for me at the time) and I also knew I didn't need to rely on pills due to my injury. So I decided to hold onto this and just take a half a pill etc for hangovers. It just meant that one box of  20 Oxy 40mg would last me 5 months (x2 boxes of Oxy 40mg a year...no big deal). The problem. I discovered how good they were for hangovers and that I could party harder at work events (I am in media sales and drinking is part of the game...you got to wooohoo those agencies etc). Not just that but it made me awesome at work the next day. Now I didn't go crazy but what happened was instead of one pill on a sat after a Friday night out it became a pill on Wednesday after a Tuesday out etc. I hated the sluggish feel the next day so would take more oxy and use the weekend to recover. My WD soon become worse and I was wasting my weekends laying around. This pissed me off so I would take through the weekends and before I knew it I had been on a 2 week binge...again WD slowly crept up. Finally 2 years ago I did a 3month binge on about 80-100mg a day and took two weeks off to recover.

Ahhhhh...it was HORRENDOUS! Took probably 2 weeks or 10 days to feel better.

For a good year I slopped taking altogether. Got back into the gym...friends...family etc. Even sent letters to the quack saying never to give them again. Earlier 2011 I went back to the
quack after a massive night out and yep...she re scripted me. Of course I told her it was for back etc but come on...I had sent a letter explicitly telling her not to prescribe. Ridiculous. So anyway...I got back on but not in a huge way. Would get a box...binge until gone and then lay off for a good 2-3 weeks etc. Now just before Xmas I had planned a holiday with GF. I got a box (GF enjoys them for hangovers too) as I knew we would be drinking and I knew if I didn't have to work then I could ride out the dull feeling the next day on the beach. Just before I left for holiday work planned a big night (staff Xmas party) and I took one the next day as I had a few meetings. Told myself...hey I can take one and I'll just feel a bit hungover. Alas I have a real issue with not being 100% at work so I kept taking and before I knew it 4 days had passed and I was getting on a flight for holiday. Needless to say it was a great holiday and we did so much activities etc so I don't feel guilty about taking them. Got back and I stopped...no WD! That made me anxious. I thought...oh no its going to be big tomorrow as I have gone the first day no worries. It wasn't and I hit the gym...ran 4 miles in 20mins done. Problem was my mate got a few 40mgs (28) and was handing them out like candy. In four days I took 12....120mg a day. While 4 days is not along time....it made no difference and I had massive WD. I guess what I am trying to do here is this A. I want to help you and help myself by getting this off my mind (i have told no one about this) as I don't think I have been taking this drug seriously B. relate to you that you should forget counting the clock....forget thinking about how you feel and just try to move on. Try to take positives out of this. For example....we all get really emotional and I think about stuff that I wouldn't normally....small stuff like calling mom and dad more frequently. Taking sister out to dinner. All the things I have neglected due to work or Oxy or Beers etc. If you can take a few positives out of this experience then it is not for nothing :)

There is no way to know when these symptoms will reside themselves. It depends on so many factors. Why did I not get WD for 11 days of 60mg a day but massive WD from 4 days of 120mg? Its so subjectable and yes I was on here looking for someone to say you will be 100% in 48hrs and 5 mins :) Doesn't work like that. Think like this.....yes it ***** now. Two ways to fix it. Take more or keep going. If you take more you will always know in the back of your head that the way you feel now will come back and most likely come back PISSED off. Plus you will be wasting the 6 days you have powered through and have to go through it again! If you give it 2 more days you will most likely post on here going...I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER and cant believe I almost collapsed. I will say one thing. I am lucky in that I don't crave the drug in WD or following WD. I don't like to take it for a buzz....I think this is a result of me only doing it following a night out and following a day on it. If that makes sense. I think I developed dependence but not psychological dependence.

See you on the other side...its so much better.

[lulu747]

Hi there...I'm sorry I meant to check in with you yesterday but I lost the thread...I hear your anxiety and frustration...Deep breaths...Anxiety is often a physical reaction to not getting enough oxygen into our red blood cells due to shallow breathing...Try taking deep breaths all the way down into your belly-it takes some practice and concentration and awareness...

The first week to ten days can be really rough.  The anxiety really depends on the person..I wake up anxious but as soon as I get up, dressed and out of the house exercising or working or anything it gets much better.  Sitting and fretting only spirals into more sitting and fretting..You need outside stimulus which is why the car rides help you.  Now that you're feeling better physically are there any activities that you really enjoy?  My life got very small when I was on pain medication and since detoxing I have continually been surprised at what I am capable of-despite sleep deprivation and anxiety...I have days where I just need to have a list of small goals which I achieve and then rest in between...I have other days when I feel like I can handle much more..And it gets a little bit better every day.  

When I was where you are I remember being very anxious and impatient to feel better and wise people on this forum told me to relax and be more patient with myself...That I didn't get to this place in a week and so it would take awhile to get out...Recovery is a process.  I understand about not having insurance for private therapy...There are other options besides more medication which you clearly state you don't want...

Really- try the breathing and exercising...I do yoga-which is a moving meditation that absolutely eliminates my anxiety and makes me feel blissed out....Hang in there and be kind to yourself....Think about how far you've come....Lu

[rmrobbie11]

Ok. Me again. Finishing day 6. This was the worst day ever. My anxiety came out swinging this morning as soon as I woke up. Now most days it's grueling but I get through it. Today I had a full blown panic attack. Crying, shaking, chest pains, the whole nine. I don't know if this is still the regular WD or if this is PAWS. Either way I thought they would start to slowly get better, not worse. I've come this far and DON'T want to go back, but this anxiety is making things really hard. Can someone please share their experience with anxiety and how long their's lasted. I would really appreciate some insight from someone who's been there. Thank you.

[rmrobbie11]

Imdonenomore yes that makes completes sense. I feel terrible that he is going through this with me. I feel like I'm driving him crazy along with me. He's getting tired of driving me around. But he loves so he does it. He's such a great man. I don't what I would do without him. I don't know if I would be able to do this or not. It's so hard. This crap needs to stop. I wish it was over already. Ugh.

[rmrobbie11]

Unfortunately I don't gave any type of counseling. I don't have insurance or enough money. The only place that will see me is the public health system and they don't really care. They just want to give me meds and send me out the door. I've never had anxiety or depression before. I know it's coming off these pills. I thought if I tapered and jumped from a really low dose I wouldn't feel this bad. I thankfully didn't have that many physical withdrawal symptoms. Mostly the anxiety is what is getting me. Figures the one thing I didn't want to get is what I got. In spades. I've tried melatonin and kava. Different natural things and nothing is working, except my poor husband being stuck driving me around. He loves me and he wants to help, but he's getting tired of driving around all the time. I don't blame him, but if he was sick and driving was the only thing that helped, I'd drive to Alaska if I had to. As long as he felt better. I feel like I'm screwing him up along with myself. I really thought the worst would be over by now. How long did your anxiety last Lu? I mean where it wasn't bad and starting getting better or didn't last all day? I hope this stops soon. I know I did this to myself. And I know I didn't get this way over night and it will take more than over night to feel better, but I didnt think it would be this bad. Well gotta go. I'll try the Valerian root and let you know how it goes. Thank you all for your help and support.

[lulu747]

I understand about the anxiety...But good for you for not looking to another pill to stop it...And LUCKY you for having a husband who will drive you around because it makes you feel better(:  The key to the anxiety is distraction, and EXERCISE...Your brain needs to heal as much as your body does and sometimes it takes a lot longer than five days....If you aren't on anti-depressants, valerian root helps with anxiety....I couldn't take it while on the opiates but now it helps...And I'm the opposite-the anxiety I can deal with...the insomnia I can't.  We're all different.  You need to be patient with yourself and have you thought about aftercare or some kind of counselling?  Moving in life is always better than staying still when you're anxious....Do small tasks that give you a feeling of accomplishment and take deep breaths....I do yoga, massage, saunas, brisk walks etc.  They work.  Hang in there and be proud of your five days....Lu

[rmrobbie11]

Well it's day 5 and I don't feel any better. I wake up and my anxiety shows up. Almost as soon as I wake up. WTF? I thought day 5 was when you get over the hump and start to feel better. I don't have any other withdrawal except this damn anxiety and it's causing my stomach to be upset. My poor husband has been driving me around in the car for the last 2 days. Sitting around the house makes it way worse and moving around in the car calms it down somewhat. On top of that I'll have anxiety all day and some of the night then around 9 or 10 and night after driving around for hours, it calms down enough for me to force myself to eat something. I got to eat a cup of tomato soup lastnight. I got 3 hours of sleep lastnight. Which I guess is better than nothing, but this crap is keeping me from sleeping too. The irony is if it was just insomnia I could deal with that, but I can't deal with the anxiety. When will it end. It's been 5 days. I've tried not to think about it and keep my mind off it and that doesn't work either. It feels like it keeps getting worse and not better. I thought it was supposed to level off and go back down. IT'S NOT. Help me.

[rmrobbie11]

Thanks gnarly. I'll give it a try. So far the only thing that calms it down even somewhat is my husband driving me around in a car half the day. Nothing I try seems to help and I don't want to take any other drugs like Ativan or Xanax just to feel better. That would only cause more problems. I just thought it would be better by now.

[gnarly_1]

HI even tapering you still will get some withdrawal symptoms anxiety was my worst symptom I did find some tea that seams to work great its callled Yogi kava stress relieve tea  some walmarts care it otherwise you can buy it on line seep 2 bags for 10min and then sip it in 15min your anxiety should be gone give this stuff a try add a spoon full of sweet n low it taste prity good good luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[ImDONENoMore]

OH man I can SO feel what you're going through.  And I was blessed like you and had a husband who was so supportive.  It was great but it kinda made me feel even more guilty (does that make sense?)  But I did find that after that first week, those feelings began to lessen, and the physical stuff starts to diminish a bit too.  You'll see.  You'll get there and you'll be able to look back on these posts and let out a huge sigh of RELIEF that you're past these days.  Keep trudging through, we can promise you it will get better.  Better than it's been in a long time.  :)

[quitinoxys]

Take a deep breath you are thinking way to much about this as Vicki pointed out. Don't look to the past that you can't change, look forward to the future you can make. You should try to get some nutrition because that is only making you feel worse and more anxious. Go an get some protein shakes or ensure it will help a great deal. There is a great remedy that helps with withdrawals The Thomas Recipe and you can find it on the lower right side of this page (without the Valium of course). I know you can do this so Keep on Keepin on.---Rick

[rmrobbie11]

No I don't have any more pills, but I do know where to get some unfortunately. But the last thing I want to do is get any more. I hate what I've done to myself. I'm not the same person I used to be. I NEVER had to take pills to feel better before. I've especially never felt like this before. This is the worst feeling. Having constant anxiety and nausea and feeling like it will NEVER end. I haven't eaten in a week. I had a severe kidney infection and finally went to the ER after 4 days. Good news was I got IV fluids, but because of the withdrawal and the antibiotics they gave me, I've been nauseas and still can't eat. I did my taper and figured if I was gonna quit I might as well do it in a hospital hooked up to an IV. the antibiotics were given every 24 hours and I got my last does this morning. I'm really hoping they were off tomorrow and the withdrawal will calm down so I can eat something. The anxiety isn't helping either. If I don't eat, I've already lost 20 pounds in the last 6 weeks because of all of this. I need to eat, but my stomach just won't allow it. Again so sorry for rambling. But thank you for reading and answering.

[vicki595]

Sweetie...so much of this is truly your head messing with you!   Distraction is the key. Getting out for awhile is as well!    One pill won't make you feel better. Believe me!!   It won't do a thing for that anxiety.

You're going to be just fine IF you stop thinking about the whole thing. It's a new year with so much ahead!!  Just forget this now...it's sooo last year.

If it were me...I'd eat some ice cream!  Works every time!!

[novics]

I started to feel better after 7 days, much better after 10, and great after 14.

[quitinoxys]

RMrobbie hang in there you should be turning the corner in a day or two. Try to get some exercise like walking it will help. You stated "if you take a pill all this pain will stop" does this mean you have pills? If so you should definitely flush them as one pill will set you back to square one and only prolong the agony. Tomorrow is a new day so just get there and then take it one day at a time. So hang in there you are doing great and I will pray for you. God Bless---Rick

[rmrobbie11]

Thank you for all your support. I just feel like it's never gonna end. This nausea and anxiety are killing me. I thankfully haven't had any other symptoms. Wait I was wrong. I have a bit of insomnia, but I think it's the anxiety doing it to me. I'm out with my husband right now because I'm scared to go home. The last thing I want to do is sit at my house and stare at four walls and think about how nauseas and anxious I am. So we're just driving around. No destination really, just driving and talking. Mostly about how sorry I am and how I feel so stupid for getting myself into this mess. How I wish I could go back to that very first vicodin and turn it down. But mostly how I feel REALLY bad for dragging him into this. He is such a good man and I feel horrible for putting him through this. It's not fair to him. This is the farthest I've made it quitting vicodin. 64  hours. I quit off a very low dose and hoping that the nausea and anxiety will be reduced if not gone by the 72 hour mark like they say. I quit Saturday morning at 4:30 am. Please someone tell me I'll feel better tomorrow. I just want to feel better. Every other time I've tried to quit I never made it past the 32 hour mark. I do feel good mentally that I've made it this far, but I feel bad that I feel this way and I feel worse for being tempted to take another vicodin. I know just 1 and all this pain will stop. But in MANY ways it will make my pain worse. That's the ONLY reason I don't want to take any more because I know what kind of damage that will do to me and to my family in the long run. Damn this *****. Please someone tell me it will be over soon. Sorry for rambling and repeating myself. Posting is the only thing keeping me sane right now other than my wonderful husband. Bless his heart.

[Bkitty]

The 3rd and 4th days are usually the toughest,,hang in there you are almost thru the worst of it. As far as the anxiety,,the best thing I found that worked for me was distraction. I would read ( I actually read the whole NA book on line),,watch movies,,came to the forum and posted and journaled,,I didnt really feel like getting up and doing something but I set really small goals for each day like,,take a shower,,change the bed sheets,,listen to music. I also prayed a lot. Use the imodium for the bathroom troubles and try a clear liquid diet,,gatorade,,jello,,water,,broth. Its important to try and stay hydrated. Im so proud of you and you should be proud of you. One day at a time,,sometimes one minute at a time. Hang in there,,I promise it gets better.~Bkitty

[lulu747]

Hi and happy New year...I know it's rough but you're almost there so hang in.  Immodium for diarreah, lots of fluid, hot baths, soothing music.  Anything to keep your brain occupied.  Try to get out and go for a walk-it really helps with the anxiety.  Also if you aren't on antidepressants...Valerian root (natures valium) and melatonin for sleep are awesome.  Vitamins are key-B6 B12, C.  Bananas are great for RLS.  It's going to be a couple days but I promise it's worth it.  Just take it one moment at a time and be kind to yourself.  You didn't get here in a day and you won't get out in a day.  Hang in there....Lu