Aa
Why go to meetings.
Lately, there's been a lot of talk back and forth about going to meetings and not going to meetings, and so on.
I read someone had written that they didn't want to go to meetings because they didn't want to be reminded of pills.
I have to say that before I ever went to a meeting, I too thought, "why on earth would anyone want to sit and listen to that? Group punishment?"
For those who don't know or have never been to a meeting before, believe me, meetings are literally the opposite of punishment. After my very first I began to get the funniest feeling; could it possibly be that I didn't "have to go" but rather, I "get to go."? Nah!
In the beginning, I too was worried about hearing about drugs, so I attended open meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I said I was an alcoholic (though I hardly ever drank) and I was totally flabbergasted that drinking (or drugging) was hardly ever mentioned. Instead, I listened to people share an outpouring of love and support for one another.
After a few more meetings, I thought, my god—these are the bravest, most compassionate, kindest and most gentle people on earth. I regularly heard people set aside their egos, describe terrible personal suffering and shameful truths, triumphs all for the sake of carrying a message to a newcomer: me.
There's a story from Ancient Greece about a troubled young king who had done something really terrible. The gods were so outraged by him that they sent a torment known as the furies to earth to give him everlasting agony. This young king goes nearly insane until one day, in a moment of clarity (or, as we might say, by the grace of God) he suddenly realizes that he alone must be responsible for his actions. The gods are so moved by this that they transform the furies into the Eumenidies, the bearers of goodness, and he too is transformed into a good and prosperous man.
That was the story I thought of at my third or fourth meeting. By taking responsibility for my actions (showing up for a meeting) I was being gifted with the transformation of the worst thing that had ever happened to me (my addiction) into the very best thing I'd ever known, a life of freedom and real relationships with others who genuinely cared for each other, who needed to do good to survive.
For those that have never been to a meeting, believe me, you are missing out on one of the finest inventions of the USA. It's better than Disneyland, Rock and Roll, the Philly Cheesesteak Sub and almost as great as Jazz.
Go to a meeting and ask for a list. Attend six different meetings, and don't try to decide whether or not it's for you until you've done at least a dozen. Meetings are groups of people, and all are not exactly alike. Look for beginner meetings in some cities. They are often brief sessions held just before the regular meeting, and can be very comforting.
At your first meeting, the very best thing you can do is listen. Listen to what people share, and here's the really important part: rather than comparing yourself to what you hear, listen a bit more deeply and force yourself to find something you can identify with. Learn the habit of identifying, rather than comparing.
I can tell you that for me, this was surprisingly no problem. In fact, I quickly wondered how on earth it could be that a room full of people had gotten inside my head? Everything they shared had molded between my two ears at some point or other. It was almost hilarious.
But if you're brand new. On the off chance that you don't hear anything that sounds like you, do not give up. Go to another meeting. And another. Find the group that feels most like home to you and ask for a temporary sponsor. I was terrified of commitment, so the idea of a sponsor I didn't have to keep for life made me feel better.
Even though I was addicted to narcotics, I felt more at ease in AA. At first, I felt like an infiltrator with a secret. Within a few meetings, I realized that more than half the other people were addicts as well, and—here's the big thing—it's not talking about the substance that goes on in meetings. It's talking about how to live life, one day, one moment, one challenge at a time without having to use.
My sponsor suggested I attend 90 meetings in 90 days. Really? Ok! I know I did at least 180 and on weekends I often hit three meetings on both days. For the first time in my life, I felt like...not like I wasn't an outsider, or emotionally inside out. I felt like I wasn't alone. Not alone. Those two words can't possibly convey the gift. Not alone.
Could it be true?
Within a year, I added Alanon meetings to my schedule, and traveled across the country and to Europe. AA is the best travel organization in the world! I couldn't believe it! In New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, London and Paris, I was welcomed as if I were at home. Met real people who wanted to take me to coffee and dinner and stay in touch. Before, I'd seen only the inside of hotels and night clubs, and spoken barely to a soul.
Here's one more thing: I've heard people say that "that whole god thing is not for me." Believe me, I was totally turned off to religiosity, and thanks to some very good luck, I met people who told me that believing in God or a higher power of my choice was completely optional.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. So, I put down this thing and soon got everything I'd ever wanted. I used to think using was all I had. If I gave it up, would have nothing. And there's the irony, only if I gave it up for one day at a time would I have anything. Coincidence? My higher power was G.O.D., Group of Drunks. And that worked for a long time.
So! Please, if you suffer from addiction , if you have ever even once wanted to stop using but can't, don't ever think meetings aren't for you. They are. You just need to take the first step, get to a meeting and put out your hand and say, "I'm new." Go to six or better twelve meetings before you decide it couldn't work for you.
It's an old story with a happy ending: look at the pain and damage in your life, take the responsibility and say "I can try to change." With that step, your furies will be transformed into Eumenides. You will be amazed to find you are not alone.
You are not alone.
I read someone had written that they didn't want to go to meetings because they didn't want to be reminded of pills.
I have to say that before I ever went to a meeting, I too thought, "why on earth would anyone want to sit and listen to that? Group punishment?"
For those who don't know or have never been to a meeting before, believe me, meetings are literally the opposite of punishment. After my very first I began to get the funniest feeling; could it possibly be that I didn't "have to go" but rather, I "get to go."? Nah!
In the beginning, I too was worried about hearing about drugs, so I attended open meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I said I was an alcoholic (though I hardly ever drank) and I was totally flabbergasted that drinking (or drugging) was hardly ever mentioned. Instead, I listened to people share an outpouring of love and support for one another.
After a few more meetings, I thought, my god—these are the bravest, most compassionate, kindest and most gentle people on earth. I regularly heard people set aside their egos, describe terrible personal suffering and shameful truths, triumphs all for the sake of carrying a message to a newcomer: me.
There's a story from Ancient Greece about a troubled young king who had done something really terrible. The gods were so outraged by him that they sent a torment known as the furies to earth to give him everlasting agony. This young king goes nearly insane until one day, in a moment of clarity (or, as we might say, by the grace of God) he suddenly realizes that he alone must be responsible for his actions. The gods are so moved by this that they transform the furies into the Eumenidies, the bearers of goodness, and he too is transformed into a good and prosperous man.
That was the story I thought of at my third or fourth meeting. By taking responsibility for my actions (showing up for a meeting) I was being gifted with the transformation of the worst thing that had ever happened to me (my addiction) into the very best thing I'd ever known, a life of freedom and real relationships with others who genuinely cared for each other, who needed to do good to survive.
For those that have never been to a meeting, believe me, you are missing out on one of the finest inventions of the USA. It's better than Disneyland, Rock and Roll, the Philly Cheesesteak Sub and almost as great as Jazz.
Go to a meeting and ask for a list. Attend six different meetings, and don't try to decide whether or not it's for you until you've done at least a dozen. Meetings are groups of people, and all are not exactly alike. Look for beginner meetings in some cities. They are often brief sessions held just before the regular meeting, and can be very comforting.
At your first meeting, the very best thing you can do is listen. Listen to what people share, and here's the really important part: rather than comparing yourself to what you hear, listen a bit more deeply and force yourself to find something you can identify with. Learn the habit of identifying, rather than comparing.
I can tell you that for me, this was surprisingly no problem. In fact, I quickly wondered how on earth it could be that a room full of people had gotten inside my head? Everything they shared had molded between my two ears at some point or other. It was almost hilarious.
But if you're brand new. On the off chance that you don't hear anything that sounds like you, do not give up. Go to another meeting. And another. Find the group that feels most like home to you and ask for a temporary sponsor. I was terrified of commitment, so the idea of a sponsor I didn't have to keep for life made me feel better.
Even though I was addicted to narcotics, I felt more at ease in AA. At first, I felt like an infiltrator with a secret. Within a few meetings, I realized that more than half the other people were addicts as well, and—here's the big thing—it's not talking about the substance that goes on in meetings. It's talking about how to live life, one day, one moment, one challenge at a time without having to use.
My sponsor suggested I attend 90 meetings in 90 days. Really? Ok! I know I did at least 180 and on weekends I often hit three meetings on both days. For the first time in my life, I felt like...not like I wasn't an outsider, or emotionally inside out. I felt like I wasn't alone. Not alone. Those two words can't possibly convey the gift. Not alone.
Could it be true?
Within a year, I added Alanon meetings to my schedule, and traveled across the country and to Europe. AA is the best travel organization in the world! I couldn't believe it! In New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, London and Paris, I was welcomed as if I were at home. Met real people who wanted to take me to coffee and dinner and stay in touch. Before, I'd seen only the inside of hotels and night clubs, and spoken barely to a soul.
Here's one more thing: I've heard people say that "that whole god thing is not for me." Believe me, I was totally turned off to religiosity, and thanks to some very good luck, I met people who told me that believing in God or a higher power of my choice was completely optional.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. So, I put down this thing and soon got everything I'd ever wanted. I used to think using was all I had. If I gave it up, would have nothing. And there's the irony, only if I gave it up for one day at a time would I have anything. Coincidence? My higher power was G.O.D., Group of Drunks. And that worked for a long time.
So! Please, if you suffer from addiction , if you have ever even once wanted to stop using but can't, don't ever think meetings aren't for you. They are. You just need to take the first step, get to a meeting and put out your hand and say, "I'm new." Go to six or better twelve meetings before you decide it couldn't work for you.
It's an old story with a happy ending: look at the pain and damage in your life, take the responsibility and say "I can try to change." With that step, your furies will be transformed into Eumenides. You will be amazed to find you are not alone.
You are not alone.
Hey Dude GREAT POST!!!!! A/A and N/A have saved millions of lives world wide for me I like N/A the best so that is my fellowship....I agree 100% with your post....when I got to N/A I was desperate to get help....it was life or death for me so I wasent shy about reaching out but with time I realized there where more reaching in my head the very way I think I thought I would be the only pill freek there but over time I have met plenty.......N/A is also all drugs inclusive we make no distinction of your drug of choice but rather the one common denominator where addicts....all I know is it shure beats being in a dark room alone with a bottle of vodka and a bottle of pills...if it will work for a old dope fiend like me it will work for anyone that in honest with them selfs...........Gnarly
Nice Post!
When I first went many, many yrs ago I did not even know what was going on or what it was all about. Back out using for yrs and yrs later. Now I have been going to any or all for over 3yrs.
When I first got involved, I would worry about saying something that was not right!! HA!! There is NO Right or Wrong. Some times I hear from some of the older ones and I might not agree with them on certain issues they try to control. WE are not Drs and can not tell someone not to even take there regular meds prescribed by a Dr like a AD med or a Aspirin. As I grew I would just speak from my Heart and my Own experiences. I take what I like and leave the rest. It is my Recovery not theirs but they are there for Support and I do appreciate that. Also I have noticed that all those reading that we do when we open, HIT me different every time I hear them. Just like when someone work's the steps..this is not a one time thing. Many months to yrs later you begin to understand more and listen a bit better. It all comes to understanding better and better each time I hear these readings. Life changes and so do we. I also Live in a small town and rarely see these people out and about. NEVER had I seen drugs being sold either. These Rumors will scare some off. Just got and try it and go to as many as you can. Both AA/NA are now being crossed addiction.
Thank You for a Nice Post. I have seen these before but this one was written out very nicely.
Bless U Leap & All
When I first went many, many yrs ago I did not even know what was going on or what it was all about. Back out using for yrs and yrs later. Now I have been going to any or all for over 3yrs.
When I first got involved, I would worry about saying something that was not right!! HA!! There is NO Right or Wrong. Some times I hear from some of the older ones and I might not agree with them on certain issues they try to control. WE are not Drs and can not tell someone not to even take there regular meds prescribed by a Dr like a AD med or a Aspirin. As I grew I would just speak from my Heart and my Own experiences. I take what I like and leave the rest. It is my Recovery not theirs but they are there for Support and I do appreciate that. Also I have noticed that all those reading that we do when we open, HIT me different every time I hear them. Just like when someone work's the steps..this is not a one time thing. Many months to yrs later you begin to understand more and listen a bit better. It all comes to understanding better and better each time I hear these readings. Life changes and so do we. I also Live in a small town and rarely see these people out and about. NEVER had I seen drugs being sold either. These Rumors will scare some off. Just got and try it and go to as many as you can. Both AA/NA are now being crossed addiction.
Thank You for a Nice Post. I have seen these before but this one was written out very nicely.
Bless U Leap & All
WOW! What an awesome post! And I agree with all of it!! Meetings have been my lifeline and they in turn led me to the rest of the work that goes into sobriety and recovery!
I've said it before but Ill say it again...my sponsor said to me in the beginning and still now "I am just the messenger, you are the miracle" Boy, did I need to hear that and I lean on that when I need it now!
We are all miracles!!!
Thank you again for this post!!!!
I've said it before but Ill say it again...my sponsor said to me in the beginning and still now "I am just the messenger, you are the miracle" Boy, did I need to hear that and I lean on that when I need it now!
We are all miracles!!!
Thank you again for this post!!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
I remember being scared of setting up the chairs!! I was scared of my own shadow so I just knew I would do that wrong too. Another woman was there and she must of been watching the horror on my face and she came up to me and just simply said, you can do this!! I can now flip 2 chairs at one time!!!
Leap- This may very well be my favorite post of all time. And my experience has been literally identical to yours.
Amazing.
Amazing.
This is amazing. I'm so glad you decided to share. The way you write is so good. I love going to meetings now. It's honestly the best thing we can do for ourselves.
That's awesome! I forgot about that cotton trick. The old timers at my group used to say, you newcomers need to sit in the front row, every time and try not to open your mouth! Just listen.
That worked great for me for a good long time.
The other awesome suggestion I was given early was to stay after every meeting and help clean up the coffee, put away the chairs and empty the ashtrays (giving away my advanced age here...). Also, it was suggested to me to show up half an hour early for each meeting. I could help set up.
One day, I arrived early, but the set up was done. I probably had thirty days sobriety. My sponsor happened to be there, and she said, rather abruptly as was her way, "Go stand by the front door. When someone comes in, shake their hand, tell them 'Welcome' and ask them if they're new or from out of town."
"What, me?" I was about to explain that this would not be possible, since I was deathly afraid of people, and what possibly could I have to offer at thirty days?! Before I could get out the first sputtering "but!" , she had marched me to the door.
"Listen to me," she said. She was about five foot two, but the toughest cookie I'd come across in years. I listened. "You now have more than 24 hours of continual sobriety. You are going to make it your business to watch each and every person who comes into this room. I want you to look until you find a face on a person that you recognize as a feeling you personally know: the terror of that first meeting, the hopelessness, the despair. Do I need to remind you?"
She didn't.
"It is now your job to make sure that the newest, most frightened soul makes an immediate friend, one that they will know by name from now on. You tell them your name, that you're an alcoholic and that you are a member of this group."
"I am?"
Her eyes narrowed.
"I am!" I complied.
"Fine. That's good. You sit that person down up in front, get them a coffee and hold it for them if they're shaking too badly. During the meeting, don't either of you talk, just listen. Is that clear?"
It was clear. How I had lucked into that relationship, I still do not know. But, I did exactly as she said. People began dribbling in, I shook a few dozen hands, and finally, just before the start of the meeting, sure enough, in walked a person whose face looked exactly like I had felt thirty days before.
"Hi," I said sticking out my hand. "My name is Marc. Welcome to the group. Are you new?"
She smiled just a little bit, shook off the rain from her jacket and took my hand. "I'm Sue. I have five years today, but I sure do need a friend." I got her a coffee and we sat down together in the front row. I was completely floored. We sat through the meeting, and I couldn't get over the change in my life inside those thirty days. For the first time in decades, I wasn't miserable and I hadn't thought about myself for probably ninety minutes. It was a miracle.
That worked great for me for a good long time.
The other awesome suggestion I was given early was to stay after every meeting and help clean up the coffee, put away the chairs and empty the ashtrays (giving away my advanced age here...). Also, it was suggested to me to show up half an hour early for each meeting. I could help set up.
One day, I arrived early, but the set up was done. I probably had thirty days sobriety. My sponsor happened to be there, and she said, rather abruptly as was her way, "Go stand by the front door. When someone comes in, shake their hand, tell them 'Welcome' and ask them if they're new or from out of town."
"What, me?" I was about to explain that this would not be possible, since I was deathly afraid of people, and what possibly could I have to offer at thirty days?! Before I could get out the first sputtering "but!" , she had marched me to the door.
"Listen to me," she said. She was about five foot two, but the toughest cookie I'd come across in years. I listened. "You now have more than 24 hours of continual sobriety. You are going to make it your business to watch each and every person who comes into this room. I want you to look until you find a face on a person that you recognize as a feeling you personally know: the terror of that first meeting, the hopelessness, the despair. Do I need to remind you?"
She didn't.
"It is now your job to make sure that the newest, most frightened soul makes an immediate friend, one that they will know by name from now on. You tell them your name, that you're an alcoholic and that you are a member of this group."
"I am?"
Her eyes narrowed.
"I am!" I complied.
"Fine. That's good. You sit that person down up in front, get them a coffee and hold it for them if they're shaking too badly. During the meeting, don't either of you talk, just listen. Is that clear?"
It was clear. How I had lucked into that relationship, I still do not know. But, I did exactly as she said. People began dribbling in, I shook a few dozen hands, and finally, just before the start of the meeting, sure enough, in walked a person whose face looked exactly like I had felt thirty days before.
"Hi," I said sticking out my hand. "My name is Marc. Welcome to the group. Are you new?"
She smiled just a little bit, shook off the rain from her jacket and took my hand. "I'm Sue. I have five years today, but I sure do need a friend." I got her a coffee and we sat down together in the front row. I was completely floored. We sat through the meeting, and I couldn't get over the change in my life inside those thirty days. For the first time in decades, I wasn't miserable and I hadn't thought about myself for probably ninety minutes. It was a miracle.
COMMUNITY LEADER
When I began my recovery the only thing I owned were the clothes on my back so seeing a counselor/therapist was out of the question. AA/NA was free so I thought I would give it a try. Doing it my way wasn't working. A wise man told me early on to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth, so I did. It works if you work it~
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