Going to quit hydrocodone..

[mom2nangel]

I was given 10mg hydro's 1 3x a day back in June.  Well soon enough it "seemed" as though the relief from pain was no longer there.. So I began to self medicate and take more then needed. This past week I ran completely out way before my script was due and what is bad is that I also had an extra bottle of 30 from the dentist on top of the bottle of 90 from my Dr. I realized as I was having horrible RLS that I was indeed somewhat addicted to these stupid pills.. During the two days I suffered I didn't feel too much actual pain (from scar tissue and hernia that needs repair).. It was more my dependance on these stupid pills i was craving and upset about. I don't want to live like that.. I went to the VA ER (I am a service connected veteran) and they said I was indeed having w/d symptoms. They gave me some toradol for the pain (though pain wasn't the top of my worries then, my stomach was hurting... not sure if from actual problem or w/d?)  Then a bit later they gave me a 10mg pill and sent me home with 6  5mg to last till I could get in with my primary care Dr.  Well, of course she was gone and so I had to just see her nurse, thankfully she was very compassionate and not at all judgemental.  I was feel rather mental then.. Like how on earth did I get so addicted to these stupid pills.. I thought I wouldn't becasue nearly 9 years ago I lost my little girl to drowning (my mother in law was watching our children because I had had emergency surgery, and she let them out to play and my 5 year old went to a neighbors unfenced yard and fell in their pool and drown..) My life was rock bottom then. I had two other children who had I not had them I think I would have died.. It was a long hard road from there.. I was prescribed xanax to help me get to sleep everynight and I remember them telling me that I should be very careful because it was so addictive.. I didn't get addicted to it, so I thought i would be fine now too... I think maybe that has contributed in some way to the addiction now. I am stressed with the upcoming anniversary of my daughters death.. it is on the 22nd of Nov.. I still have no set date for my surgery to repair the hernia and scar tissue and during "certain times' of the month the pain is like I am being branded, burned cut on the inside... HORRIBLE... BUT I want off these drugs.. So I have a brand new bottle of 90 and I am having my husband dish them out to me, one at a time. I am trying to right now just go longer then 6 hours in between a dose.. I hope to next week maybe go down to  1 pill in the morning and half at  midday and 1 at night and the following week maybe go to only 2 a day one in morning one at night and then to 1 1/2 a day and so on.. Do you think this will work and help keep w/d's to a minium?  If I go on the amino acids now will they help with this weaning process and help prevent w/ds?  Any info greatly appreciated.  I have four children now at home and I so can't afford to be dealing with the w/ds like they were last week.. Oh that was horrible and made me feel like the worst person in the world... Thank you for any info or advice.
Mom to an angel~

[jeffclowns]

i wish you the best of luck and i am so sorry for you loss that really broke my heart to read .my prayers are with you and your family.god bless you.

[pillfree21]

I have the utmost admiration and respect for your openess and honesty about your inner struggles.  I am a father of 4 and can not imagine the hurt of losing a child, that alone shows me you have an incredible spirit.  I think you have taken a huge step in admitting your situation and coming to grips with opiate addiction, it can be a humbling experience and our egos can get in the way of us breaking down and treating ourselves like the out of control souls we have become.  Your positive nature and willingness to meet things head first will serve you well....taper, cold turkey or whatever, it will be rough spots but you can get this thing behind you and start living for yourself and family.  I wish you the best.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  You will find alot of support here.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter.  I hope you are finding comfort in your angel~~~~~

Your taper does sound fast but it is doable if that is what you decide to stick with.  You dont have to be a prisoner to these pills anymore.

Congrats on wanting to get your life back~~~~~sara

[lostsoul30]

Hi sweetie,
     i hope gnarly sets you up with a tamper schedule and it works for you! Best of luck sweetie! Remember ONE DAY AT A TIME!

[gnarly_1]

HI and welcome to the forum....you have found yourself in the same mess as many of us
it is possible to get your life back...you have come to a great place to do it..take the time to read the posts you wont feel so all alone in this we will support however you choose to break free from the stuff.now tapering is possible but it takes a lot of discipline you will still feel withdrawals just not as bad....your taper seams fast coming off 6 to 8 a day
look in your e/mail im sending you a message.......Gnarly

[mom2nangel]

just wanted to say that while "self medicating" I was usually taking between 6-8 a day of the 10mg.. Usually 2 at a time.