Will I ever feel normal?

[trying23]

Ive been taking anywhere from 10 to 20 vics a day, ranging from 500s to 1000s whatever I can get my hands on for three years.  I tried to detox last March but by day three I couldnt move and ended up at a pain mangement specilists office.  Still needing more.  Last Monday I decided to be done, I took my last four and its been 5 days now.  The physical pain is dulling, but emotionally I still find myself thinking how much better I would feel if I just had a few for the day.  How they would ease my stresses and things would feel so much more fluid.  I have two small children and the everyday things seem so hard without my meds.  Why cant I be like other moms and deal without chemical stimulation.  It makes me sick to think I have to talk myself into doing dishes and laundry ect ect... without the vics.  Im guilt ridden when I think of not wanting to take my kids outside or read a book because Im consumed with thoughts of taking more pills.  I seem to feel better half an ounce a day, but will I ever feel normal again?  Will I ever wake up and my first thought be something other than VICODIN?!  I want to stay sober, but Im struggling to hold on... Today is day 5.... and the first day of the rest of my life


This discussion is related to Vicodin addiction.

[TrayCee]

congrats on day 5!  
But....I dont understand "500s to 1000s".  Do you mean 5mg and /or 10mg?

[trying23]

yeah, id take whatever i could get by the handful.

[ImGettingClean]

SOrry to say, u have been taking the meds for over 4 years and you expect eveything to back to normal afeter 5 days? give it some time, u got through the h\physical part, now tough out the mental (go for a walk, watch a move, go to a AA/NA meeting, etc)...ur doing great, dont back track, it will get better.

[bmdad]

I know exactly what you are going through as I was mr. mom for a few years do to a injury. I went through withdrawals while caring for my 3 year old son and 1 year old daughter. It was so hard to force myself to do things around the house. Looking back I think it helped having to care for my kids because it forced me to be somewhat active. As of now, don't worry about the extra things such as playing outside. Just make sure you are taking care of your kiddos which I'm sure you are. You are so close to to the downhill side of this. Your energy will come back without needing the pills. Just keep going strong and hang in there. Congrats on your accomplishment!

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

My husband and my kid were one of the BEST motivations for me to get CLEAN AND SOBER... It was REALLY tough telling my husband that I had a problem because he didn't think I did.. BUT I KNEW I DID!

So, with that said.. I hope you have some sort of SUPPORT system in place at home AND elsewhere.. AFTERCARE is critical...

We can't be SLAVES to this addiction any longer.. It's just NOT LIVING ....