Will it get better?

[gRYANk]

Hi, I'm a 26 yo married male with a beautiful wife and adorable son. I have been taking hydros for approximately 2 years. I started taking 1-2 10mgs per day and in the recent months, it's been closer to 4-6/day. I know that probably isn't a huge number for some, but I felt like it was running my life. I woke up one day last week and took a serious inventory of my life. I am BROKE, my house is a WRECK, my relationship is BORING, and my son is growing up WITHOUT his dad. I have made a decision to stop. On Saturday, today is Wednesday, I had 2 7.5s. On sunday, I had 1 7.5mg, then Monday, I had 3.5 7.5mgs. Yesterday, I took my last 2.5 7.5mg hydros. I woke up this morning with the runs, and the RLS, and I have been fighting off crying all morning. I'm at work now, and I feel horrible. My wife has also been taking them, and to my knowledge, she hasn't had any since Sunday or Monday, and she seems to be doing good, or hiding it well. I really need help getting better. I don't want these stupid things any longer.

[dominosarah]

Good for you on getting your life back.  I know the wd's are tough but you can get thru this.  Get some immodium for the runs, take warm baths or showers for RLS and bananas can help too.  Check out the health pages on the right hand side of this page and look at the amino acids.  Get going on that as we need to get our bodies healthy again from all the abuse we put it thru.  You will feel like you have the flu for about 5-7 days with day 3 usually being the worst.  This is all doable.  We have to go thru this to get to the other side.  Try and move around as exercise helps too.  Aftercare is very important too.  Getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard part as that is when the mental stuff comes into play.  We need to figure out why we used.....You can do this and we will be here to support you.  Show your wife this forum too......sara

[kolo13]

Yes it gets better. You have you whole life ahead of you with your beautiful wife raising your son. You need to go through a little pain right now so you don't miss all that. Take a couple days sick leave to give yourself a long weekend. Look up the Thomas formula on this site. With the dose you're on you will be over the worst of it in just a few days. Within two weeks you will start to feel really close to normal. It will seem awful at first but it won't last that long. Please do this now while it is still doable. Don't let the fear of withdrawal cause you to get in deeper. (see my post titled "please don't end up like me"). There are many kind knowledgeable people on this site who can help you. IT WILL GET BETTER!

[gRYANk]

I really appreciate the comment, I feel like sh** right now. I can't stop figgeting and the RLS is a bi***. I feel like all I need is a couple 10s and I'll be better, but I know that it will only have me in this position again in a few days. With the use of the drugs, I don't have any money right now to go and purchase the aminos or use the Thomas Recipe, although I would really like to try it. I also don't think I can take any sick time from work as the drugs has all but caused me to miss many days already. I think I'm going to use the flu excuse and try to get a long weekend in. Thank you all for so much help. I will be staying on this site to help fight the cravings.

[dominosarah]

I know you are feeling really rotten now but it wont last.  Your body needs to be flushed out.  Drink lots of vitamin water and eat bananas.......A couple 10's will do nothing but make you feel worse.  Keep talking with us as we know how you are feeling.......sara

[gRYANk]

I am about to go on lunch and take a long walk and really try to relax. I have a 3 yo to take care of tonight, and I'm afraid that with all the pain and anxiety, I won't be able to care for him like he needs. I have been reading alot on this site and it seems to do something for me. If I could get rid of this RLS and the pain in the legs, I think I would be decent. I'm taking 600mg Ibuprofen, but it just doesn't seem to really help. I feel like a broken record, but this is crazy. I want to break down in tears because I let it go this far. I started taking as a means to have fun. Then I realized that the DOC will give them for just about anything. I remember when my life revolved around me and not around where I'm going to get my next pill, how i'm going to get it, or how many can I buy and let the bills wait til next week. I've almost ruinned my marriage, I feel like my wife has no respect for me. When I try to talk to her about the things that are happening, I feel like she brushes them off, like I'm over-reacting. I'm so glad I found this site. I feel out-of-control.

[dominosarah]

Your emotions will be over the top right now.  We have numbed them for so long so let yourself feel them.  Commercials made me cry!!!  The more you are up and moving the better your legs will feel.  Take a warm bath or shower too.......Does your wife abuse pain meds?

[gRYANk]

She doesn't use them like I do. She has used, but not to the extent of mine. I get them behind her back sometimes. We have talked and she is going to help me as much as she can. She says it's a mind over matter thing. I've just got to start exercising my mind. And talking to myself about it. Get my mind off of the pills and on something else.

[bmdad]

Glad to hear you want to get your life back. Realizing you need to quit taking the pills is by for the hardest but necessary step. Does your wife take them for pain? If not, I would talk to her about putting a end to the addiction also. We all started off just taking a couple a day or as needed for pain. Before we know it our tolerance is way out of control and so is our use as I'm sure you know. Your wife may not be at the point quite yet be it can too easily end up that way. It will also make it more difficult for you knowing that she is taking them and has them in her possession. I think it's great she wants you to stop taking them by why does she feel it is ok for her to continue on with them? Just kind of curious.
Make sure you are exercising as much as possible even if it's just a short walk at first. I found exercise to help more than anything else out there including the aminos. The aminos do help but they don't totally relieve the symptoms so you will be fine without them. Throw in some headphones with some of your favorite music and give it a try. This was the one time I didn't even feel or think about withdrawals. It kinda puts you in your own little world. The first day of withdrawals I planned on just making it around the block for starters. I ended up walking about 3 miles as it felt so much better than what I thought it would! It will also help speed up the whole withdrawal process. Be sure you are eating as healthy as possible and push the water. It will help flush the system a bit faster. Most of all stay mentally focused and know that with each day it will get better. This may just be one of the toughest fights you will ever have to deal with so you will feel so accomplished once you succeed, and you will succeed! People kick their addictions every single day and you can be one of those people. Be sure to stick around the forum and post away. It also helps by commenting on other people's posts. Also try and find a hobby to keep your mind off of it. I never thought I would do a puzzle in my life but found they helped me tremendously. Maybe read a book, watch some funny movies, anything that you enjoy. Your mind will try and make you think you have to have the pills but you don't! You have to fight the urge by keeping your mind occupied on something else.
I wish you the best of luck and if you need anything, please let me know!
Brian

[qiut4myself]

great post, great advise.. gRyank, read his and the other post over and over...do what they say. I did and I am 32 days clean after 5 years.  You can do it without alot of extra money spent. Drink water, lots of water, exercise, even if it is a 10 minute walk at lunch. I did this while haveing to work, used the don't feel good excuse and just druged through it. I read the posts on here ever chance I could, it really helped. The people that take the time to rite a long reply like bmdad did truely have been there and know what your going through...trust them. The hot baths with epsoms (spelling) salts really helps, I would take 2 or 3 after work, made me feel almost human. Day 3 was the worse, then it gets better a little everyday. When I joined htis forum on day 3, I couldn't even spell quit or type it right, know I use the mispelled name to remind me of how bad that was and how I never want to go through that again. Sending you good vibes :)

[gRYANk]

I want to thank everyone for posting. I want everyone to know that my wife is quitting as well. She is just having an easier time doing it. Thanks for the all the posts. I will be back on tomorrow. I have found that The Office tv show is helping alot. Thanks again. Pray for me and you will all be in my prayers as well.

[Revcharberry]

congratulations on ypur journey. Scroll this forum to the bottom of the postings til you get to HELP by Revcharberry, read those and especially the breathing exercise that someone sent to me.  Our problems may seem different but our journey is the same.  I will be praying for you andyour girlfriend.  Keep on this site it works.  Rev