Withdrawing from Codeine

[BeeBumper]

I started taking codeine in small doses when I was around 17 to help me get through the anxiety I had at when going to sleep, used pot with it to calm the caffeine effect, but still it kept me up but I didn't feel the anxiety I had felt from a lifetime of abuse that was mostly done to me at bedtime.  I have tried psychiatrists and most doctors including them would put me on antidepressants and the effect of those were devastating to me always, and now no psychiatrist will see me and the best excuse I received was "I don't have the time to commit to the depth of your problems."  I've found on my own that about 1mg a day of an antianxiety drug helps me sleep, otherwise when I try to stop codeine I end up going days without sleep making me insane and I have had depression in my life but I know what that feels like and I tell every doctor who tries to put me on paxil I know depression, that's not what I am going through.  

I have been doing codeine for over 25 years now and at it's worst I could swallow 50 T1's and up to 100 (although 100 got me sick).  Some doctors don't even believe me, but I did this drug for a long time and increased the dose slowly until my usual regular dose was around 30 pills, they are skeptical and when I tell them I could go and get them, take them and show them how it's possible without liver failure they too scared to be a part of it even though I say I'm going to do it anyway.

Then I found cold water extraction(CWE), tastes like crap but I can CWE as much as 200 pills but usually it's 100 because too much of that bitter taste can make you throw up, and now 100 won't even make me look or feel high it's just to stop the horrible side effects that come when I try to stop.

I'm out of my mind, looking for anything now to take to feel "better", I have done rehab, but the root of my problem is I take drugs to forget the abuse, when I stop the abuse is front and centre.  No doctor will take me on, and I am growing tired of this endless cycle and thinking about drastic measures.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[ROSYouralright]

After reading this I am VERY concerned for you! THAT'S ALOT OF PILLS for  one person to be taking! I agree with ABN.... You really MUST deal with the abuse and trauma that you have suffered over the years in order to get better. What you are doing now is akin to slow suicide and I don't want to see that happen to you! Please seek help and start dealing with this stuff so that you can be at peace and move forward with your life....

[ActingBrandNew]

I dont really understand what your asking here friend. All of us on this forum have taken some sort of mind altering substance in order escape something. Whether its abuse or just escaping the way we feel...we've all been there. I understand you dont want to face the "abuse" that makes you want to use in order to block it out but until you do, you will be in the same shoes for a long time.

I'm not trying to go all Dr. Phil on you but you are going to have to face the pain in order to heal. So a psychiatrist wont help you...ok, maybe move on to a Psychologist. They dont RX you but rather do psychotherapy. If you've been there done that...try a therapist....been there done that, an addiction specialist. There are endless resources of help out there, you just have to keep searching until you find something that clicks and then grab on to it.
You've identified the underlying issue in this post so that's a start. Your gonna have to treat that in order to get off the codeine.

And look, I know a little something about the liver from being a laymen Hep C patient. So you found a way around the high doses of Tylenol with  CWE...ok. But that shouldn't be the only thing you worry about friend. In some people, codeine breaks down rapidly in the liver and reaches higher than normal levels in the body. This can cause dangerously slow breathing and may cause death. In your case, Id say its safe to assume your playing roulette every time you get high because of the amounts your liver has to break down. You may get high...take a nap....and never wake up.

I will tell you that Ive had my share of "abuse" in life that kept me using. I didn't want to face it and had the same attitude as you. My life kept getting worse and worse. I finally was able to grasp what works for me and began dealing with the pain. Its on ongoing process but life is much better on the other side of it. I can look back now and realize that all those feelings held me captive for years. I do hope you continue to seek the help you need because life is very precious. It may not seem that way to you right now but hopefully it will in the future.